How to Encourage Real Motivation in Your Children

Shift away from making your children do well, toward helping your children want to do well.


The foundation of Positive Discipline, Adlerian theory, describes behavior as driven by a need for significance and belonging.


Significance, meaning I matter and can contribute, and belonging, meaning I am connected to others.


Parents often say they are surprised at how capable their kids really are. There is no lack of love in parenting (that is the belonging) but consider the significance part. How are children able to contribute on a regular basis? Truly, beyond clearing their place, or getting dressed, what is their psychological sense of their own capability? When we offer more opportunities to feel they MATTER, the more the competent, capable, and confident they are, the more evidence and data points they have for what else they can accomplish.


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This parent wants help with their child constantly seeking attention and approval for everything they do. They ask, “Am I raising a praise junkie? What should I do?” Watch our parent Q&A video with Julietta Skoog

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