What 4th & 5th Grade Teachers Wish Parents Knew

I worked in elementary schools for 15 years as a school psychologist and counselor and always loved being with the 4th and 5th graders. They were a special developmental group, and felt so “big” compared to my little kindergarteners. They were curious, assertive, wise, silly and confident. I felt responsible for getting them ready for middle school, yet also trusted their trajectory. One of the reasons I had this trust was because their teachers were so skilled with this particular age and stage; to choose to teach 9-11 year olds takes a special kind. (Yes, I am slightly biased because my husband taught 5th grade for 19 years and has the patience of a saint.)
We asked 4th and 5th grade teachers what they wish parents knew about this age group and here are their responses:
“This is a very exciting time of life: students are developing so rapidly and can do incredibly sophisticated tasks that were unthinkable even a year before.”
Sproutable tip: Use family meetings to acknowledge their growth and capability, and give them agency and voice.
“9-10 is a time for kids to be given more responsibility (chores that contribute to the family, being responsible for packing their own snack for school, keeping track of assignments/obligations, etc.)”
Sproutable tip: Use a wheel of choice, white board, or popsicle sticks to make a list of contributions and add them to the daily routine.
Kids need down time for play & creativity (non-device).
Sproutable tip: Incorporate “genius hour” (think quiet time) into the weekends or school breaks. After lunch, or after Saturday adventure/sports, designate space to “grow their brains.” This means a little rest, reading or homework if they have it, then quiet play or working on their passion project. This creates peace in the house, a break from each other, and when you come back together you are more ready to connect.
Reading 30 minutes outside of school is a must and caregivers need to model reading for their kids–they are watching.
Sproutable tip: Bake this into your family living space; keep books or magazines easily accessible to model, or start a book club with your child to read what they are reading and have more to talk about.
Your child needs 9-11 hours of sleep every night.
Sproutable tip: This is tough, we know, with how over scheduled kids are, especially with activities and sports and (at least in the PNW) the sunset late in the spring and summer. Lean into connection and firmness to stick with a healthy bedtime.
Do not give your child access to social media and…. Having taught this age for 5-6 years through COVID and being still pretty Internet-savvy myself, one thing that I think doesn’t get enough attention is online media literacy. In particular, the balance between feeling included in online culture/meme humor space with peers IRL when access and supervision of screentime varies so greatly as kids begin to gain more access to social media. Media literacy is super important, especially in this day and age (and moving forward as well, I’m sure).
Sproutable tip: The research is clear about children of this age NOT having access to social media. Period. Where parents have influence is through modeling and sharing HOW to use it. This might look like a child not having their own account but watching memes or reels together, or viewing accounts together of family members and commenting together to model healthy language. The key is supervision and learning TOGETHER.
This is the grade that is usually the last year of elementary school and much of what happens in this grade is to prepare for middle school, like executive functioning, homework, and learning what productive struggle and resilience is. A lot of this is to help students understand that learning happens outside of school as well, and that these skills also need to be practiced at home.
Sproutable tip: Give them opportunities to build some grit and stretch their responsibilities. Travel or day trips are great for this! Let them help with the planning and decision making and get exposed to real world learning.
A heartfelt thank you to the incredible teachers who shared their wisdom so generously. Now it’s your turn—engage with your 4th and 5th graders and give them that boost they are ready for!


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