ShareSchool Break Survival Guide: Routines, Connection & Sanity-Saving Tips for Parents of K-5 Kids
I worked in schools as a school psychologist and school counselor, my husband is a teacher, and we have three children in elementary, middle and high school. So, as a family, our rhythm and calendars revolve around the school year cycle and we LIVE for the breaks! While they of course can be fun and refreshing, they also have a way of disrupting routines and leaving us with long days to fill. Here are some time tested strategies that have helped us over the years. These parenting tips are great for families with kiddos in kindergarten through fifth grades.
Stick to Routines, but Be Flexible
School-aged kids thrive on routine. The predictable structure of their school days gives them a sense of security, and when that routine is disrupted, it can lead to big feelings. To help maintain some stability, try to keep familiar elements of their school routine in place—such as getting dressed (even if it is putting on new pajamas or a swimsuit), eating breakfast, brushing teeth and tidying up a bit in the morning. We love to read a chapter book aloud or play cards while eating breakfast and I drink my coffee to enjoy the “slow” morning of a break and set the tone for the day.
You’ll want to establish a different routine for these breaks, especially longer summer ones. You can take inspiration from their weekend schedule or create a special routine chart just for days off (remember to make it visual and include them in creating both the routine and the chart). The key is to strike a balance between structure and flexibility. A routine that’s too rigid won’t allow for the spontaneous adventures school breaks can bring, but one that’s too loose may leave everyone feeling aimless and dysregulated. Younger children tend to rely more heavily on routines, but all kids, no matter their age, benefit from having some structure during school breaks. It helps them feel grounded and ready for whatever the day holds.
Expect Sibling Squabbles
School breaks are often a time when sibling dynamics shift. If older siblings who are typically at school are now home for the day, it can change the entire household rhythm. With more time spent together, sibling disagreements are more likely to arise. Use these moments as opportunities to reinforce conflict resolution strategies and give them those high reps for practice. At the start of each school break—especially during the longer vacations like summer— we always revisit our “Calm Down” and “How to Solve a Problem” wheels. These tools are great for giving kids a visual reminder of how to manage their emotions and handle disagreements constructively. I also stay solution-focused, which models a growth mindset and learning from mistakes (and conflict) rather than simply avoiding them or punishing them.
Remember: the goal isn’t to eliminate disagreements but to teach kids how to work through them safely and respectfully.
As the conflict unfolds, use it as an opportunity to teach about feelings, emotional regulation, and meaningful apologies. One of my favorite Positive Discipline tools for conflict resolution is A Bug & A Wish. This helps kids start problem solving on their own and teaches resolution skills, instead of just stopping the fighting.
Embrace the Opportunity for Connection
One of the best things about school breaks is the extra time to connect with your kids. We run hard with sports and activities so school breaks give us the chance to slow down and enjoy each other’s company. They can also be a chance for an extra chunk of special time. Whether it’s tackling a fun craft project without the pressure of a time limit, trying a new recipe, reading aloud, playing board games or setting off on an adventure day, these breaks offer a valuable opportunity to bond. School breaks can also be a great time to connect with their neighborhood and peers in their school community. Inviting school friends over or coordinating a play date at the local park or school playground helps you as a parent understand more of the social dynamics when they share stories about other kids in their school day.
While I love to have a picnic or take a ferry ride & day trip to a nearby island, I have come to learn that my kids don’t always have the same wishes. As the school year starts to wind down, we each make a list of summer fun activities and ideas so that everyone’s voice is heard and we can work together as a team to make the favorites happen. This is helpful to do during a family meeting, when you can keep “Summer Fun” (or “Spring Break Fun”) on the agenda for a few weeks and keep revisiting. The time really sneaks up on you so having a list brainstormed and ready can help make the most of your time off. This isn’t about every day being absolutely incredible, but little projects, adventures, and shared moments help build deeper connections. That being said, it’s not our job to entertain kids 24/7. Independent play is just as important, and kids benefit from having time to explore their own interests.
Offering opportunities for downtime is equally essential. Children need their own space to rest and decompress, just like we do.
Take Time for New Skills and Responsibilities
School breaks can also be an excellent time to introduce new skills or responsibilities. I love using the upcoming grade as motivation, for example, “Now that you are a 4th grader, you are old enough to start practicing how to do your own laundry.” (Pro tip- ask them what THEY want to start doing!) You can use this time to teach them how to complete a new skill or household contribution, or practicing independence out in the community or neighborhood. This seasonal time is also great to refresh their calm-down spots. Are there any projects around the house that you can all pitch into together, like cleaning out the playroom or pulling out outgrown clothing or shoes for donation? Include a time when they can be the expert and teach other family members their skill of choice, like juggling or how to make slime. Contributing to the household builds self-esteem and important life skills, and it also adds to that rhythm and change to meet them at the age they are.
A school break or family trip can also be the perfect opportunity to let them take the lead on fully planning a day or outing. Allow them to choose one activity or day from your brainstormed list, and support them as they plan and research.
Giving them the freedom to pick the activity fosters a sense of autonomy and agency – they really buy-in and love to be “in charge.”
An added bonus is the valuable executive functioning skills they’ll practice – making realistic plans, scheduling your time, packing snacks and lunches, checking bus or ferry schedules, and budgeting their own money for a souvenir or treat. These are all important life skills that we’re here to teach and that they need to learn! And if things don’t go as planned, it’s a great opportunity to learn from natural consequences and to practice our flexibility and resilience.
Working from home
Often parents are not able to completely join in the summer fun, and realistically have work or other responsibilities. What happens when the kids are home but you have to work or have other projects going on? This is when having a visual routine and plan is going to be critical so you can “let routines be the boss” as Positive Discipline reminds us. Post your own schedule so the family can see your day and look forward to the time you do have together. Share your plan for work and bring them into your world to describe the different parts of your day, including important meetings. Motivation research tells parents that children need relevance, or the why, for them to be motivated to change their behavior. Explaining why a certain phone call or meeting is important can go a long way. Role play having Zoom meetings or conference calls and swap roles to practice and plan for what kids can do when you absolutely have to be 100% focused on work.
Consider reorganizing the environment for the summer so everyone can co-exist a bit more flexibly. Consider everyone’s needs – this means your needs too! Stay objective while you brainstorm solutions together and physically move things around to create your “co-working” spaces. Designate a room or area for important calls or high level work that needs quiet, and put a sign on it so kids know when you are absolutely off limits.
Just like work meetings, your family’s success will be contingent on communication. Stay curious when you check plans for the next day, within their routine. For example, “What is your plan for playing independently while I am on my morning meetings?” Having a visual menu of options they can do is a helpful tool that supports their independence.
Family Reset
School breaks are a chance to enjoy their company, strengthen connection, and create special memories together. It is a chance to reset, begin anew, and have a fresh start. Use the break to reflect on how you want to feel as a family and what is important to you, then create a charter or simple list with the ways you will act with each other to grow those feelings and values. Check on them weekly through family meetings. Small actions lead to habits that can lead to BIG change. What action can you take this family break?
This blog was inspired by our in-house nanny expert Danielle Taylor, Sproutable’s nanny liaison and the author of Making the Most of School Breaks with your Nanny Kids.
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