Eps 110: Finding the Need Beneath the Behavior with Alison Smith

Meet Alison Smith, mother to two adorable kids, proud wife, former elementary school teacher  and now teacher coach, advocate and revolutionary in win/win parenting.  Like many of us Alison had visions of being the best, doing the best and really being that one adult that impacted her students lives powerfully.  As a self identified recovering perfectionist, Alison entered the teaching world and become a mother. It did not take long to identify that something in the work with children had to change. Fueled by her passion and her journey, Aliso identified a need for teachers to feel supported in their work.  In her coaching, teachers are inspired and supported to be the most authentic, joyful and wholehearted teacher they can be.



  • Alison shares Bonnie Harris’ iceberg analogy and how it guides parents to identify the underlying root of a child’s behavior.

  • Like a medical issue, we often treat the symptom until the symptoms persist then we are forced to find the root cause.

  • Realizing that the child’s behavior that triggers us is the root cause of our reaction and inability to connect and show up best for the child.

  • Only when we dig into our roots and what is underneath our icebergs can we better guide our children through their own experiences.

  • Triggers can cause us to panic and ‘future trip’ into fear about our child’s behavior, enabling us into unhelpful methods.

  • Using our curiosity to dig to the root – is my child hungry, tired, overstimulated, cold, hot, uncomfortable, lonely?.

  • Once we identify our triggers we can move into the practice of showing up the way our kids need us to. We chose connection and enforcement that they matter.

  • Often we misjudge our kids motivation and intention leading to disconnection and an increase in the child’s mischief.

  • Once a parent gets it and truly understands the process begins within the parent first then the practice strengthens and the child, family and parent begin to thrive.

  • There is no one perfect general response to situations with your child.

  • Practicing prevention, in-the-moment and then repair strategies alleviate and get to the root of the issue.

  • An open conversation on how parenting is shifting from authoritarian to permissive. Why parents today need something to change and are willing to find the courage to revolutionize how the adult/child relationship evolves.

 Where to find Alison:

Website l Facebook l Instagram l You Tube
Change the World in A Generation (video)



Thank you to our sponsor!!


Promo code: JOYFUL for $10 off your first order!!


Mother’s Journey to Joyful Courage


Registration remains open for my Bellingham, Seattle, Portland AND BOISE events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot.



Coaching with Casey

Are you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.

Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.

Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call.  Click here and we will schedule our call!


Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Community is everything!

Join our community Facebook groups:

Takeaways from the show

We are here for you

Join the email list

Join our email list! Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! Joyful Courage is the adolescent brand here at Sproutable. We bring support and community to parents of tweens and teens. Not a parent of a teen or tween? No worries, click on the button to sign up to the email list specifically cultivated for you: Preschool, school-aged, nannies, and teachers. We are here for everyone who loves and cares for children.

I'm in!

Classes & coaching

I know that you love listening every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in your parenting journey. Casey O'Roarty, the Joyful Courage podcast host, offers classes and private coaching. See our current offerings.


See more