Eps 119: Solo Show – Deconstructing Natural Consequences and Personal Responsibility

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Dedication to the Conscious Dad who sent in feedback about being excluded.  I am so grateful to know that there are dads out there that are enjoying my content!!  Big thanks to this dad and all dads that are listening to the show.

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Intro Sharing:

• Thank you, listeners!!

• Honored to serve you…

• Mother’s Journey recap – Seattle, Portland, Boise

• Orange County, East Hampton, St. Paul – 2018 Mother’s Journey locations

• Boldly Embody Life – Krista Petty Raimer, Grace, Elevate

• When I am a yes to trusting, surrender and presence is already there

• Visioning for 2018

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Content:

Personal Responsibility and Natural Consequences

• Natural consequences are what happens when we stay out of the way – they occur when we let things unfold

• What do we want most for our kids? What are our desired outcomes for this whole process of parenting?

  • Reference to a poll on my personal FB page

  • Who lets their 14 year old daughter hang out in her room with her boyfriend?

• Two lists activity from Positive Discipline class

• The only place that our kids can develop life skills is inside of experience… and in relationship with a healthy adults supports that as well…

• Their experiences inspire and inform future decisions

• There is a lot learning that we are robbing our children of because we are getting in the way

• Parents internal experience takes over

• Mindfulness matters when we are supporting our kids in developing personal responsibility

• Natural consequences happens when adults don’t get in the way

• This is a dance – boundaries are respectful kids need them, we need them

• Kids need to feel the tension

• Mistakes allow natural consequences – when we let them feel the consequences that show up, that we aren’t IMPOSING there is lots of room to learn

• Example – homework

• Help them to expand their perspective of what THEY want

• Check your assumptions… and check in with your child

• Humans LONG to be listened to, seen

• Kids learn personal responsibility through experiencing having the opportunity to BE personally responsible

• What matters is the relationship – bonded in unconditional love and mutual respect

• Allow the natural consequence the power that they have

• Our kids want to feel connected, as though they matter and that they have influence

• Tools: co-creating routines and agreements, loosen up, ask questions, check your unspoken messaging, family meetings

  • joyfulcourage.com/family-meeting-ecourse

• We all want our kids to grow into cooperative, contributing adult living good lives

• What already exists when they make mistakes is powerful!

Coming up next week – talking with Robin Sabbag about raising a teen daughter.

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