Eps 123: Solo Show – Navigating Big Emotions From Grownups and Kids


Context – we all have the power and the skills to be the parent we want to be 

A recent post from the Live and Love with Joyful Courage community:

Can we talk about sharing our big feelings with our kids?

My kids are 2.5 and 4.5yo, and I don’t know how to share my big feelings in front of them without freaking them out. I want to be able to be my full and authentic self with them, in an age appropriate way. And I realize, the fact that they are upset when I am upset means that they are afraid of my big feelings and may be afraid of their own big feelings. We try to welcome their big feelings (tantrums, disappointment, etc.) but I think we do a miserable job at it.

Compounding this, I am someone with explosive emotions. I tend to feel things very deeply and it takes me time to calm down. I have worked hard to make sure I don’t express those emotions in a negative or scary way. But instead I most often bottle them up, which isn’t good either.

Celebrating awareness. Celebrating emotional intelligence. Celebrating authenticity. Celebrating personal responsibility.

Misconceptions (in general):

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  • not ok for our children to see us upset

  • not ok for our children to FEEL upset

    • they’re being naughty

    • they’re manipulating

    • they’re learning “bad behavior”

  • welcoming big feelings is the same as condoning hurtful behavior

This is a POWERFUL example of what I think is the PURPOSE of parenting:

  • to grow into our best selves

Children are mirrors

  • not mimics

  • instead, provide a reflection of how we effect the world, what our impact is, what we are inviting

Children/parenting journey is an invitation

  • recognizing conditioning

  • recognizing what our “driver” is

  • recognize commitment vs attachment

    • Committed to being a connected parent vs attachment to what that looks like (slippery, perfectionism, comparison)

Children/parenting journey is unrelenting

  • The lessons come every day, moment to moment

  • The growth is like peeling an onion

  • There is no where to ARRIVE

Child/parenting journey is an opportunity to grow

  • I can’t say this enough

  • Where are your hard edges?

  • Where is there room for self growth?

  • Where can flexibility show up inside of rigidity

    • “I am someone with explosive emotions.”

    • We are ALWAYS evolving

      • What can we learn about ourselves?

      • What can we practice that will be more helpful and less hurtful?

      • How can we deliver our experiences and be heard?

      • How can we create a PRACTICE that honors us and our experience while also models the life skills we want our children to one day embody?

        • Practices are UNIQUE and INDIVIDUAL

        • The myth of “balance”

        • Assumptions about our “roles”

Taking care of ourselves and our own self-regulation, in the end, will do more to teach our children and influence their behavior than any tool you can find in a book or the internet.

You’ve got this!


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Joyful Courage SHIRTS!!

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On my journey of strengthening my awareness and practicing conscious parenting, LJC is the support and inspiration I NEED to put the knowledge and tools I have to work in real life, every single day. I am deeply grateful for this group of incredible women and for Casey.  – Mama Lauren

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