Eps 148: Solo Show – Teasing Apart the External experience from the Internal Experience

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Solo Show – woop woop! It is all me today people, and I am so excited to be sharing some powerful thoughts and experiences with you today.


  • Wading through our experience to support out children

  • The writing process

  • Going deeper into what parents can uncover/discover for themselves

  • We have an external experience of raising kids – everything that happens outside of us

  • We also are having an internal experience – the ways that our physical body feels, sensations, also the emotional experience that we are having, what gets brought up by the external stimuli

  • External and internal are both happening at the same time

  • Based on what our experiences have been in life, our relationships in life, we have a lens that we see the world out of

  • Sometimes the internal response “works” for us

  • We have a well wired survival system – amygdala – but our survival system isn’t always what is needed in our daily life

  • The pendulum swing of raising/living with teens – everything is great until it is not, parents are the anchor that witness/hold space and it’s hard to remember that the behavior is a pendulum swing. Connect /loving vs dysregulation/discouragement

  • We (parents) go into “fix it” mode

  • Alternative – recognizing what is happening physically in my body, seeing what is happening for me, what is the lens I am looking out of?

  • Fear – tension in the body – belly/jaw

  • When kids feel discouraged, they tend to want to share the feeling with others

  • Looking below the surface – the iceberg metaphor

  • Today is a reminder that there is so much going on under the surface…. Curiosity as a guide AND it’s ok and important to recognize where you are at physically/emotionally and taking a pause to get yourself together


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