Eps 155: SOLO SHOW! Casey is on Deep Diving into Intuition

Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:00
Music. Hey everybody. Welcome to the joyful courage podcast, a place for information and inspiration on the conscious parenting journey. I am Casey o'rourdy, positive discipline trainer, parent coach, and honored to be your guide in the work of showing up as your best for yourself and your family. If you feel as though parenting is one long personal growth and development workshop, you have come to the right place. The conversations you will hear on this podcast are all intended to offer you tools for moving forward, for expanding your lens, for shifting your narrative to one of possibility, connection and empowerment. You can be the parent you want to be. We are influencing the world with how we raise our children. When we bring deep, listening, acceptance and courage to our relationships, we are doing our part to evoke it in the world. I am thrilled to partner with you on this path. I hope you enjoy the show. Hello, hello, hello, hi, listeners, oh my gosh. How are you? I know that I said I would come back in September with solo shows, but life has presented me with the opportunity to actually conclude August with a conversation just between you and I, and I think that that's just perfect coming at you. We're closing out the summer here in the States, in the Western Hemisphere, some of you have kids that have already gone back to school. Some of you like me are looking ahead in the coming weeks, at the beginning of the school year and the start of new routines. Ow. Does anybody else love a routine and structure the way that I do, I am obsessed. I am really excited about the new routines that are coming on the horizon. Summer felt very loose and spacious. And while there is delight and wonder inside of that, there is also a little bit of, oh, man, too much spaciousness. So I'm excited. I am excited. And something that has been showing up a lot for me, and I know for others as well, because I've been in conversation with a lot of people about this, and it keeps showing up is around the topic of intuition, and if you listened to my last show with Dan Siegel, oh my gosh. Thank you for the feedback. So many of you have written in to let me know how powerful that conversation was, how much you appreciated the concepts that he shared. Me too. Man, oh my gosh, it was super special for me. Dan Siegel has been someone on my vision board, somebody that I've wanted to interview for a long time, and it felt very validating. And, I mean, I was a little bit awestruck. It was, it was incredible to get to be in conversation with him and to share that conversation with all of you, especially when it's, of course, about something that can feel elusive, which is presence and being present and and really, you know, when we put it into parents speak that ability to sift through the experience that you're having, the behavior of your children and everything that it is calling inside of you, right, Like rigidity or fear, anger, resentment, you know, plus the physical experience of just oh my gosh, clenched fists, clenched jaw, shoulders in and up, I mean, and it Feels like that trigger, that emotional, physical, mental experience just happens like we snap, right? And so I just really appreciated Dan's ability to create a metaphor that really captures the work that we do, so that we create space to not only show up as our best selves for our kids, but also, and this is what I want to talk about today, also to hear and hold space for our intuition right? Because we all have an inner knowing. We all have an. Inner voice, which I think spiritually, is the voice of God, the voice of the universe, a higher power, a higher knowing, right? It's where we can tap into what I think all of us have learned over the many lifetimes that we've been here. And even though it kind of feels, it can feel out of reach to lean back and remember all of our all of what we learn, I think our intuition exists as a little hit to remind us and when we don't have a practice of cultivating presence and stilling our mind and stealing our body, all of the other things get in the way of us tapping into our deeper knowing. And this is all super fascinating to me, and a conversation that I absolutely love having and I'm not coming on here today saying I know everything about intuition, and you know my what I think is the truth with a capital T. I just know that over, especially over the last few weeks, the last few months, in my own practice, in my own curiosity and exploration, I'm starting to come to a place where I'm able to make sense of things, and that's, I think, really powerful. You know, regardless of what spiritual belief you choose to be a part of, or you are born into and raised with, whatever you're choosing to believe that makes sense to you. You know, if the root of it is love, I'm cool with it. I am cool with it. If the root of what you believe is love yourself, love others as you love yourself, openness and acceptance, yay, right? I think that that is ultimately what is the path for all of us, right? And so that being said, I'm just here to share how I am making sense of my own spiritual experience. And if there are pieces that land for you, yay. And if there are places where you can say, well, that's not exactly the details that I believe and I can find, like a deeper alignment, yay. And if you're having moments of like, this is all not at all what I believe, or this piece, yes, this piece, no, yay. Like I'm okay with, I'm okay with whatever your beliefs are. And this is just an offering, right? Because intuition keeps showing up in my life, and I'm going to share a little story about that. This is something that I've recently shared in my membership program. So I have this beautiful 15 year old daughter, right? I get to talk about her a lot here on the podcast, and by the way, she knows that she is a topic of mine, and I do ask permission before I speak about her and about my experiences, of the events that occur as her mother. So I have this beautiful daughter, and at the end of the school year last year, she requested to do online school.

And I am someone who comes with the experience of loving high school. I had a very I mean, the more people I meet, the more I realized it was probably a unique high school experience. I had an amazing circle of friends that were with me pretty much throughout the four years, but bigger than my tight circle of friends I had, you know, layers of circles of friends really loved to connect with everyone. Found that I had a gift for that, and I was active and involved and I played like every sport, not because I was good at every sport, but because I just loved the camaraderie of being on a team. It was fun to me. I was in Student Council. You know, I loved High School. I'm super social and extroverted, and I was a perfect fit for my high school experience, so I have that in my back pocket. I also come from a family that really sees the path of success steeped in kind of the traditional model of education, meaning, and when I say traditional model, it. It's, you know, you go, you physically go to school. I did go to private schools in middle and high school, and it was, there was never any question of college and whether or not I would go. It's just what you do. And I was privileged enough to, you know, know that that wasn't going to be something that I would have to scramble to make happen. So acknowledging that my experience was very privileged, and I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the education that I received, and now here I am with my own high school student who is not having the same experience that I had in high school, not only not having the same experience, but she's being raised in a really different family system, right? Our family and my parenting, while I definitely am pulling from some of the gifts that my that were offered to me as a child, as a teenager, from my own experience of being parented. There's also a lot of places where I just have different ideas. I have different I'm open to different things, right? I mean, I don't want to say expansive, because it feels judgy, but I just, I feel like there's a lot of paths to a successful, fulfilling life, and it doesn't necessarily have to look the way that it looked for me, that being said, that being said, being confronted by the opportunity to move in a different direction, to have a child who says, I don't want The traditional path. I want it to look different. I'm definitely bumping up against my conditioning. I'm definitely bumping up against my conditioning. And recently had the experience, you know, I can have these moments where I'm really present and really connected to my body, where I totally trust my daughter. I trust myself. I trust that creating an environment for her to thrive is more important than pushing her into an environment and trying to, like, mold her into something that fits in the environment that she was in. I believe that, I believe that the more helpful move for her is to create an environment for her to thrive right now, I trust that, and I also have this, what I thought, what I experienced as a lot of self doubt and fear around what if it's the wrong decision, what if it's not what's best for her? What if she's 40 and looking back and saying, like, Mom, you should have made me go back to the high school you should have just right XYZ. And I recently was privileged enough to get some coaching from, actually, from a client of mine, which was lovely. And through the experience, I started to recognize that really what was happening for me wasn't so much, you know, in the context of intuition, the fear and self doubt really wasn't my intuition speaking to me, it was really my conditioning speaking to me. It was really the voices of my conditioning, right? And so those moments of really deep, connected trust. That was my intuition. And so in this conversation, you know, and bringing it back and to the bigger picture, how do we tease apart? What is intuition? Oh, there's the local train. Do you hear that in the background? Course, how do we tease apart what's intuition and what is just simply something else? I have a beautiful mentor, as I hope you all do. I have a lovely mentor who is currently teaching me about not only intuition, but really, like an expansive, you know, the expansive psychic abilities that we all have, we all have. I'm in a mentorship with her, and intuition has been a deep dive for us recently. And what she often, what I've heard her say about intuition, is that intuition is, is typically the first thought that we have, and we have the thought, but then what happens is we analyze the thought, we judge the thought, we put the thought through all of our filters of logic and that mental i. Thinking in my mind, I'm thinking of like, uh, like a chipper, a wood chipper. So what goes in, what comes to us is intuition goes through this wood chipper, and then in the end, it's like splintered into all of these fragments, and we find ourselves saying, Well, what is I don't even know what my intuition is. I can't trust my intuition. I'm not sure about my intuition, and what I'm learning is to is to ask myself, What if the first hit is, what is true? What if the first thought that I have is my soul speaking to me? And some of the conversations it's been so yummy to that I've had with people that I work with. You know, we all come to this parenting gig with our own experiences, and some of us have experienced trauma and shame and guilt and deep fear, and I'm not and that that is all a part of who we are. And I think, I think that that all is a part of our intuition unfolding as well. So what if? What if our stories and our experiences actually were offered to us as a way for us to develop our intuition. What if that's just a part of it? What if that was just God and the universe offering an experience, offering in a relationship for us to then use moving forward? Right? And you might be thinking, but Casey, my trauma, my fear stops me cold in my tracks, right? Or it doesn't allow me to move forward. Okay? So here's where I want to bring back my conversation with Dan Siegel. So growing our hub of awareness like growing our ability to be in an experience and tap into our intuition requires practice, and you've heard me talk about this before in other contexts, so you've probably, if you've listened to the show for any length of time, you may have heard me talk About being intentional and showing up with intention. And you know, if playfulness is something that you want to bring more of into your relationships, you have to you get to embody playfulness on a regular basis so that you become more familiar with it when you need it, if calm or grace or courage or joy, are things that you want to bring more of into your relationship. You have to practice those things on a regular basis so you become more familiar with it when you need it, because we're going to do what's familiar every time. We're going to do what's familiar every time. And so if you are someone who is constantly doubting your intuition, you're going to continue to constantly doubt your intuition, even after listening to this podcast, if you don't start to practice something new and different. And let me tell you about practice. And I know I've said this before, and I'm gonna say it again, because don't we learn so much when we hear things multiple times in a lot of different ways? Yes, the answer is yes.

Let me tell you about practice. So any and I have to go with the sports teams. Or, you know what? I don't have to go to this with the sports teams. Well, I am, because there's the other team. That's what I love about the sports teams. So if you're on a team, or if you're a tennis player, right, if you're a tennis player, you practice playing tennis all the time, and maybe sometimes it's against a concrete wall, maybe sometimes it's with a machine that's shooting balls at you. Maybe sometimes it's practicing with your coach or another person, but you're practicing, and when you have a big match coming up, you're gonna up the practice right? And the more that you practice your moves and your skills. And I would say the best players also practice the mindfulness of being on the court and the and the and the mental and emotional skills required to stay in the moment and be really present. The more you practice, the better you're going to be at that big match. And then the big match shows up, and here's this opponent who is not your coach, and it's not a machine, and it's not the wallet, somebody who's got their own instincts, their own experience happening at the same time that you have your experience happening. So you're playing tennis with somebody else who's, you know, who also wants to win the match. You. Right? If you haven't practiced, if you haven't practiced physically, you're probably not going to win if you haven't practiced the mental and emotional game, and you find yourself behind that very likely will take you over and and will influence how you respond to the match, right? So the same is true when we think about relationship and the experiences that we have with other people, and the experiences that we have with ourselves, right, and the experiences that we have with ourselves. So we have to practice creating space to clear the clutter, the internal clutter, the layers that exist inside of us, the voices that have shown up every day, right, the self doubt, the fear, the analyzing we have to create an experience For ourselves where we can clear that out, where it's low risk, right? Just practicing clearing that out and being with the spaciousness of ourselves so the intuition can show up, where we have the opportunity, because of the fact that we're practicing because of the fact that we've maybe dedicated 20 minutes, and we're all alone in a room and nobody's going to disturb us, and we've said, Okay, today, this morning, I'm going to I'm going to practice creating space for my intuition, right? So it's very low risk, and the more often that we can do that and make that a practice right, that 20 minutes of sitting in stillness and noticing our sensations and our emotions and our thoughts, noticing them, but not Being them. Do you know the difference there? Like, it's like, when you go to the grocery store and you see a child and a parent and they're having a really hard time, don't you get that feeling of like, Oh man, I know what that feels like, but you don't, you don't take on the frustration and the experience that that other parent is having because you're looking from the outside, and you're able to have perspective,

right? So 20 minutes of this practice of making space for intuition, the idea is you get to be that outside person with your thoughts and your emotions and your physical sensations, right? And this is exactly this practice is also something that will grow. Going back to my conversation with Dan Siegel last episode, 154, you will begin to grow your hub of awareness, to use his language, to use my language. This is what lets you realize you're on the emotional freight train, or perhaps that you're in the station and it's pulling in, right? If you decide yes, I'm going to be more aware of my intuition, and you don't practice, and you don't practice, you don't set up time and space to be in the practice. You will keep doing what you're doing, because typically, when we're looking for our intuition and fear or shame or guilt or trauma shows up. We actually move into our emotional brain, and it's really challenging in that moment, if we haven't practiced, because what is familiar, right? What is familiar in those moments is like, I just I can't, I don't know. I can't trust my intuition, or I don't know what my intuition is. If that's what's familiar, that's where you're gonna go every time. So we have to, we get to practice creating space for our intuition. I feel without a doubt, I believe without a doubt, that just as our children chose us, we chose them, and we can't know the lessons that we asked them to bring to our lives prior to being in these relationships. Okay, listen, I've been reading, well, actually, that's a lie. I've been listening to I'm gonna tell you what it is I've been listening to this book. Oh my gosh, and it's blowing my mind, and it's called sacred contracts. Oh, there it is. Sacred contracts. And it's by Caroline, miss, and it is so powerful to me to think about all the experiences in our life actually being what we've called for. And I know because I have plenty of darkness and really hard things that I've lived through, I know that that can be really hard to believe and and when we get to the other side of some of the things that came up for us, like, what did we get to learn? What did that adversity or that hurt or that pain allow us to develop into? And if you're still in the muck of you know someone or something has ruined your life or broken you, I just want to invite you into the question of, what if it didn't break you, what if it didn't hurt you? What if it happened for you? And if that's too much, if that's too difficult to wrap your head around, that's okay too. It's just an offering. I feel like the more that we can be present to our intuition and trust that there is a bigger voice than the ego voice, the one that is chirping in the ear all the time. I believe that we will be on the path of an ever more fulfilling life. And regardless if we choose into intuition or not, we're still on the path. It is the path, as my beautiful mentor Jessica said, it is the path. And what happens when we choose in to the practice of holding space, opening space, learning to develop space for our intuition, because when I do that, I'm a better mother, I'm a better wife, I'm a better daughter and sister. I'm a better version of myself. For myself when I am actively making time to practice my internal experience of allowing space for intuition to show up, I feel grounded and connected to my life. Yeah. What do you think about that? Oh my gosh. It's amazing how long I can talk about something all by my lonesome. I hope that this conversation lands for you. I would love, I would love for you to reach out to me with any questions around this, any thoughts or feedback. I may have said things that really landed. I may have said things that didn't land, that were confusing, that you know, that it triggered, like it's all good. Reach out. Let me know. I also wanted to take this moment to let you know about this incredible offer that I have going on with two other gals who are amazing humans that I love. Shannon Kinney, dove from a free spirit life, and Ashley Walburn, owner of home holistic, are teaming up with me, and we have created a mother's journey home to herself retreat. So you've heard me talk about Mother's journey. It's my six hour workshop that I've done now in Baltimore, Newport Beach, California, Boise, Idaho, Portland, and here in Seattle. Well, I'm super stoked to connect with two amazing gals to expand that offer into a weekend retreat and so exciting. Shannon is a holistic life and spiritual coach and a yoga teacher and a mom. Ashley is a birth educator, a marriage and family counselor, a doula and a mom. And you know me, I come with the positive discipline, training, my coaching skills, and I also am a mom, and we have put together a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, opportunity for you to sit in the circle with other mothers who are ready to be in the practice of holding space for their own intuition, as well as holding space for each other to be and grow and expand inside of the motherhood journey. Because isn't it, one surprising moment after another, right? You get handed that little baby, and it's all good and. Thing and you know, and then you're a mom, and sometimes we are really in the weeds of the current environment, the current challenge, the current behavior that we're trying to break through. It's hard to remember that there's a bigger picture, and it's especially hard to make time and to prioritize time for ourselves. So I really want to invite you to consider coming to Kansas Overland Park, Kansas, which is just outside of Kansas City. Friday, October 26 we will be together from six to nine. Saturday, we'll be together the 27th from 10 to five, and then Sunday, from 10am to noon. So again, it's a weekend retreat, and it's just going to be the most beautiful, spacious exploration through yoga and movement and guided meditation and journaling, I have some really powerful activities that I invite mothers into, and we're just going to have such a great and beautiful time. So I'm letting you know, the end of this week, the 31st is the last day to get the early bird rate. So if you are anywhere near Kansas City, come. Come and play with us. If you aren't fly in, come anyway, and if you know people in Kansas City, please let them know about this offer. So you can find more information at joyful courage.com/mj, weekend, all one word, that's WWW dot joyful courage.com/mj, weekend, all one word. So check it out. Let me know if you have any questions, and I really hope that I get to meet you in Kansas. So fun. Yeah, so good luck everyone on the return to routine in the school year. I'll be back next week with an interview for you. We're going back to the weekly show format where my solo shows are every other week, but next week's an interview. Love, love, love. You have missed you all this summer and just super looking forward to what's to come. All right. Mwah,

joyful, Courage community. You're amazing. Big. Thanks and love to my team, including my producer, Chris Mann at pod shaper. Be sure to join in the discussion over at the live in love with joyful courage group page as well as the joyful courage business page on Facebook and Instagram. Subscribe to the show through Apple podcasts or really, anywhere you find your favorite podcast, you can view the current joyful courage swag over at the web page, intention, cards, bracelets, e course offers the membership program, one on one, coaching. It's all waiting for you to take a look. Simply head to www dot joyful courage.com/yes. That's joyful courage.com/y. E, S to find more support for your conscious parenting journey. Any comments or feedback about this show or any others can be sent to [email protected] I personally read and respond to all the emails that come my way. Reach out, take a breath, drop into your body, find the balcony seat and trust that everyone is going to be okay.