Eps 183: Your kids are not manipulating you.

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 Winging it in the closet!

 Thank you for the review, Lauren!

 Listening to my clients and group participants…. Amazing the expansive way we can see/here for the other person.

–       The idea that kids get into mischief, make mistakes, AND well meaning, loving parents get stuck into thinking “they are manipulating me/trying to get what they want/playng me”

–       Foundation of Adlerian theory – behavior being movement in the direction of belonging and significance

–       As young children – always perceiving/interpreting/beliefs/action (private logic)

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o   Do I belong?

o   Do I matter?

o   Do I have influence?

o   Am I safe?

–       We are asking and answering those questions through our own lens, which has been developed over time, through experience and relationships we have lived through

–       Kids are cut and dry, their private logic is experienced as “truth”

–       Perception of emotional safety matters

–       “I’m curious… I notice you don’t want to talk about problems after the fact…. Can you tell me about that?”

–       Goal is to help them observe themselves

–       Having a conversation about the conversation

–       Curiosity has no agenda, it’s not a “method”

–       Curiosity is non-judgmental and open


–       Call it out when the space feels judge-y and own what we have brought in the past

–       Asking VS Telling Experiential activity

–       Play with this!! Remember there are layers!!


Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

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Come play with me!!


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