Eps 232: Exploring our consciousness with Dr. Habib Sadeghi

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Casey O'Roarty 0:00
Go. Welcome to joyful courage. A conscious parenting podcast, really a conscious human ing podcast, a place where we get real about the messiness of parenting and life. My name is Casey o'bordi. I am a positive discipline trainer, a parent coach, a wife and mom to two teenagers. I'm working every day to come from my most conscious and Mindful self in this age of quarantine and covid 19 that can feel really hard and inside of that, I'm also a mom holding the fort as our family navigates my husband's cancer diagnosis. So there's that too, and inside of all of it is my passion for bringing more lightness connection and love to my family and the world. I'm so glad that you've joined me here. Thanks for listening. If you find that you're loving the show, please know that we have amazing communities for parents on Facebook join us in the live in love with joyful courage group, or the joyful courage for parents of teens group for support and community with like minded parents walking this path with you. You can also find the joyful courage business pages on Facebook and Instagram and follow those too. And of course, all the joyful courage offerings, including my book courses that I'm teaching and coaching, can be found on my website, www.joyfulcourage.com I hope you enjoy this week's show. Hello, listeners. I am so excited to welcome today's guest, Dr Habib sadagi. Dr Habib sadagi is the founder of beehive of healing, an integrative medical center based in Los Angeles. He specializes in multidisciplinary treatment for chronic illnesses that include, okay, here's, here's all the technical terms that are going to be hard for me to pronounce. Osteo osteopathic, Anthro, Anthro, Pacific. What's that one? Anthro? Sure, Anthroposophical, Anthroposophical, environmental, psychosomatic, family and German new medicine, as well as clinical pharmacology, he served as an attending physician and clinical facilitator at UCLA Santa Monica Medical Center, and is currently a clinical instructor of family medicine at Western University of Health Sciences. Dr sedeki is a regular contributor to goop CNN, BBC News and The Huffington Post, and is the publisher of the health and well being journal mega Zen. Dr Sadeghi believes that most problems between parents and children, or indeed between any two people, and we are actually going to focus on parents relationships with each other, are typically problems of connection. By building stronger connection, we are able to move beyond the fighting, yelling, nagging or other struggles and into a place of mutual respect and understanding, where real problem solving can occur in turn. When we care for our own and our family's mental and emotional health and healing, we drastically reduce the potential for physical diseases as the mind body connection is so deep, there's so much overlap between what you bring to the world, Dr Sadiki, and what I'm trying to cultivate through my business as well. I'm so glad that you're here. Welcome to the podcast. Thank

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 3:38
you for the invitation. Casey, and it's a privilege to really be here and thank you for everything that you're doing. Will

Casey O'Roarty 3:47
you tell us a little bit about your journey of how you find yourself doing the work that you

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 3:53
do? Absolutely So my background, initially, I started this, this path, wanting to become a patent attorney. My background is very, very thick and significant in sciences, so somehow I had a couple of experiences, including watching a particular episode of ER and I ended up volunteering at Martha Luther King Hospital in South Central Los Angeles. And I had a two specific examples that just catapulted my interest and pushed me to switch from patent, wanting to become a patent attorney to choosing to wanting to become a doctor. I chose medicine. I specifically chose osteopathic medicine, which, for most people, they don't really know what it is, but it's sort of like an MD and a chiropractor put together. You have the prescription, the prescription, right? So you can write prescription, do surgery, see patients, and then at the same time you are trained. Gained over 500 hours in the arts of manipulative medicine. So when people come in, let's say it could be as simple as having a cold or a cough, you get to actually touch them. You get to open up their lymphatic system and help them, and if they need medications and so forth, you can prescribe that as well. And after going through medical school and doing a residency in family medicine, I started getting a couple of different fellowships. One of the fellowships was really a master's degree in it became a master's degree in spiritual psychology with with the third year emphasis in consciousness, health and healing, which is really the relationship between how our feeling, thoughts, emotions dictate what happens the next moment, And not only for ourselves, but for everyone around us. So in a nutshell, this is how I got catapulted into into what I do

Casey O'Roarty 6:09
that is so beautiful, and I really appreciate anyone who can have a foot in the western medicine mindset as well as a foot in the spiritual consciousness mindset, because I think those two things, working together, are really a powerhouse for well being and health. So yay. Yay for you. We are, yeah, we are six weeks into quarantine here in the United States, and I am hearing from many parents, not only about their challenges with their kids, because we're all together all the time, but also what I'm hearing about is challenges that parents are having with each other, with their parenting partners. And I'm wondering, I'm curious, what are some of the things that couples are sharing with you, if anything, during this time of quarantine, what are you seeing happening between couples as they are forced to spend ever more time together?

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 7:14
There's just a variety of issues that they're resurfacing. We obviously these are unpredictable times, and for all of us, the unpredictability triggers past hurts. And these hurts, when they come up, they don't come up with the label, they don't come up that, oh my God. You know, being stuck here, it reminds me of this previous incidents. And, you know, and it's coming up, and I need your attention, it doesn't, it just creeps in. And one day we wake up and we have neck pain all of a sudden, we have leg pain. We have, you know, we have our hemorrhoids flare up all of a sudden, we just don't feel good, and we feel icky. We feel not centered, and if we're not aware, it's very easy to project all that into our children, into our significant others, partners, parents, and start the dynamic. And if they are unaware or unconscious as well, then what happens is, it's just, you know, it creates a perpetual vicious cycle, and then there's just yelling and arguments, and you're stuck. You can't really go anywhere. So, you know, and it's very easy knowing that our really, our mind and our bodies are connected and our bodies or the theater for our mind and what we cultivate in them. So if there is conflict, if there is fighting, then all that it resurfaces in our body as physical symptoms, as depression, as anxiety, as overeating, as binge eating, binge drinking. I've, you know, I can't tell you how many people they've started drinking alcohol, they've started using drugs, they've started watching pornography and a lot of that. So whatever pockets of hurt and abscess or unresolved issues and emotions were there. When you squeeze that toothpaste, it all comes out. And I'm here to tell you, we globally, are being squeezed.

Casey O'Roarty 9:33
Yeah, yeah. And to me, when I listen to you talk, I just like the visual that comes to my mind is, you know, we're working through each day, and I don't know, and I'm even thinking about my own experience of just kind of chugging along and then noticing, like, wow, I'm not really getting as much done as I've thought I would get. Done today, and or, you know, or recognizing, like, I could use a nap, but I'm not going to take a nap. And it's not so much that I'm so busy. But there is, like in my head, there is this mindset of, I still have, I worked from home before this, you know, I still have all that same time, but in reality, so much space, so much mental, energetic space in my life is actually being consumed by, you know, knowing that my kids are home and wondering what they're doing and worrying about, you know, are they gonna get way behind in school, and what's going on with my husband and what are we gonna have for dinner? And so it makes when I can lift up and out, it makes sense that I'm exhausted, even though I'm not really doing very much. But also when that discomfort that you're talking about shows up, and I could see why turning to something that's gonna help me escape would make sense, because it's so uncomfortable in the body, and for me, you know, I mean, I've been doing a lot of practicing around consciousness and I and self care and but even that, even so, there's still things that kind of come from the side, right like that we don't see coming, and all of a sudden it's this full body experience of, like, What is happening right now. And for me, it's like it comes up through my feet and up through my body, and then it's, I'm throwing it out my mouth, and it sounds like blame. It sounds like anger, frustration, agitation at really, whoever is closest, or whoever you know it was that was kind of the catalyst for that, for that opening, right? And it's and I'm releasing, yes, I'm releasing because of the trigger and the past hurt like you're talking about, but it's also all this other stuff that the uncertainty and the fear and the are we going to get back to normal, and do we want it to be normal? And what if it's not normal? And what if it is normal? And what if not normal is better, like it's just this continuous spin out that I don't know that we're all because we're all in survival mode. It doesn't really seem like we're giving very much thought to all of the like invisible yet potent pressures and worries and fears that are just cycling through all of us all the time right now,

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 12:21
absolutely I completely hear you, and I completely understand one of you know, when I work with patients, and usually patients come in and they consider, behalf of healing our center as end of the road clinic. People come in with stage three, stage four cancer. They come in with neurological issues, ALS, Parkinson disease, severe depression, infertility, and one of the things that we talk about is how to slow down, because if we don't slow down, then we're at the mercy of a cement maker? Yes, yes, Casey, you heard it right. A medical doctor is saying that we are at the mercy of a cement maker, but no one has introduced it as this multi ton, heavy handed cement maker. They refer to it as the brain. And the brain is just like a cement maker. It never stops, because it feels that if it stops, it's over. The jig is up so it continuously will keep producing thoughts, anxieties, worries that will, you know, manifest into guilt and blame. And if we want to be too kind and too nice, then we'll turn this knife around and we'll start cutting ourselves creating autoimmune diseases. I don't think that it's an accident that there is a gender prediction of autoimmune diseases, the diseases where the body attacks itself, in the context that the body produces antibodies, such as Hashimoto thyroiditis, which is another name for autoimmune thyroiditis, autoimmune hepatitis, lupus, you know, connective tissue disorders, rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn's disease, multiple sclerosis. There is a gender prediction of 10 to 110, women to one man. And now can you imagine, let's say, generally speaking, if you know, if you were at home, let's say, for most part, and that was your castle. That was this space. Peace that you had, the children would be at school, your partner, your beloved, your significant other would be away, so you would have this spaciousness to be able to really breathe, to slow down. But guess what

that has been taken away from you. The kids are screaming. They're in the next door. They're online. They're supposed to be online, doing their homeworks back, back of your mind now you're thinking, well, what are they watching? What website are they visiting? Now, your significant other, your beloved might be at home, and he or she might, you know, they might have their own sense of worries, anxieties, blaming, guilt, and now all of a sudden, there is dove tailing. All of that will create what one of my teachers, Rupert Sheldrake, is referred to as morphogenic resonance, or another way of saying, it is our emotions, your emotions with your significant other, with your partner, with your husband, with your wife, creates a new Wi Fi. But unlike the Wi Fi that you use for your computer, your internet, this Wi Fi, it doesn't have a plug that you can turn off, so it's continuously on. And our children are swimming in this Wi Fi like a fish in the sea.

Casey O'Roarty 16:36
So the energy that we co create with our partners, the energy that exists between, you know, if we think of that as like a pool, then it's also the energy that our children are exist inside of. Is that kind of what you're talking about?

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 16:55
Absolutely, right? They literally are swimming in it, yeah. So any of our unresolved issues, any of our fears, phobias, anxieties, it will bleed through. This is the particular pattern that in telecom medicine, the form of medicine that I practice and I found it, we refer to it as a trans generational pattern. This is, you know, the sin of the fathers. This, you know, the shortcomings, the misunderstandings, the misinterpretations of our parents, our grandparents, upstream in our lineage, right? It will bleed through, right?

Casey O'Roarty 17:39
Because we've been conditioned by how we were raised, and our parents were conditioned by their parents, and so now we're like creating this soup depending on, and I want to talk a little bit about consciousness, depending on how aware you are of your conditioning and how it comes to the surface. And Are you actively awake enough to say, oh, you know what? I'm gonna, I'm gonna try something different. I'm gonna practice something different than what was modeled for me to kind of, you know, we call it, you know, I think that's where breaking the cycle comes from. But it's more than just a decision, isn't it? It's this, it's a it's an ongoing practice. And, you know, to me, that's my understanding of consciousness is just that awareness. And I'm curious, I want to play with this a little bit with you. What is consciousness inside of relationship, mean to you? How would you describe it?

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 18:32
Absolutely in two words, I can summarize really what consciousness means for me now, given our what, what you know, what we're speaking of, and it's called joyful courage, because when you're looking at courage, Norman, French core means heart, and when you have the strength of heart, and you want to come from A place of joy, and you want to look at all of it. You don't want to hide. You want to look at all of your hurts and your you know the areas that that you consider your wins, and you realize that your failures as a soul having a human experience, those failures were intentional, because those failures were the fertilizer for you to seed a new intention that will go through these dark nights of the soul and will germinate and sprout and give a new tree, a tree that will give you a different future, different fruits of the future and shades of awareness. That's really what consciousness is. And sometimes we understand day, when we understand night, we can understand the. Consciousness when we understand and we're around those people that they don't have it, that for them, there are just a human they may or they may not, have a soul, this thing called Soul, and most likely, if I can't see it, it doesn't exist. Those people, they live a very materialistic and mechanical world. That's what they live in. They come in and every other word they're talking about, or if they're on the phone, or the zoom as telemedicine, that's what I'm still seeing some essential patients. And they talk about how their partners, they're just pain in the neck. And then with the same breath, they talk about literally having pain in their neck. They talk about how, you know, how they cannot stomach, you know, the anxiety, the unpredictability, they cannot stomach, what's occurring. And then with the same breath, they talk about, every time they eat, they have acid reflux. See, there is a deep connection. And one of the founders, one of the founders, when you look at a traditional, a traditional medical textbook, let's say internal medicine, Harrison, you know, a good portion, up to 60 to 70% of the knowledge of that book came from a gentleman by the name of Paracelsus. Paracelsus has a quote that I have on my entrance door. And the quote is this, Spirit is the master imagination, the tool and the body, the plastic material, the power of the imagination is a great factor in medicine. It may produce diseases in men and in animals, and it may cause cure. Ills of the body may be cured by physical remedies or by the power of spirit acting through the Soul. This is a physician that is considered to be the father of toxicology, which is one of the most scientific branches of medicine, talking about the importance of spirit. And I'm here to tell you that consciousness is the awareness. It's the top down view that we are spirit first, and we have a physical manifestation, and in that context, now, all of a sudden, if you consider that we all have gotten accepted into a university, just like people get accepted into Harvard or Oxford or UCLA or USC or University of Michigan, and they're all happy. Guess what? The student body, 7.8 5 billion of us that got accepted in the University of life, and we're all here, and every single one of us, we have a particular soul curriculum, and we are, you know, and we sign up and life, what brings it up for us, and all of us right now, globally, we're going through this, maybe, maybe even a quiz or a test or a midterm That's called, you know, covid 19, so you know SRD two, or the coronavirus that we're all you know, cooped up, quarantine. And I usually refer to it instead of quarantining, I refer to it as care cocooning, because I understand the power that the language plays when it comes to our imagination, as Paracelsus said, because if I refer to this time period as care, cocooning, now, I understand that I have a responsibility, first, to my own spirit, soul, and when something happens, instead of blaming my significant other or my children, I sit down and I understand that, Oh, my God, This is an opportunity for me to work my process, which simply means one of the tools that I give in the clarity cleanse. The last book that I've contributed for all of us is from a place of humility. It's a simple tool, a way of journaling that I refer to it as pew 12, or purged, emotional writing 12 minutes. You sit down with a piece of paper and you ask yourself, gosh, where did this neck pain come from? Why do I have so much acid every time I eat now? What is it about John Jack, Jill, Stephen, you know, Susan, what is it that it's irritating me right now? Why am I angry? Why? Where's this anxiety coming from? If I were to allow the anxiety to speak, what would it say now, by being able to really connecting with our own thoughts and feelings, something miraculous. This happens, there's catharsis that occurs as we write down and as we actually give ourselves the dignity of connecting with what's present, and instead of blaming, instead of mind shaming ourselves and others and making ourselves feel guilty and others feel guilty, we use this time period as a sabbatical to develop our own if you would, septic tank, what I refer to as psycho spiritual septic tank. You know that you're responsible for your own thoughts. You're responsible for your own emotions. You are responsible for that you're not responsible for. What happens to your you know, to your children, whatever they're going through. That is what it means to be conscious.

Casey O'Roarty 25:59
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I love what you said about we all got accepted to the University of life, and that we're each you know that I feel like the experiences and the relationships that we have in this lifetime are our curriculum. Like you said that, and I feel like prior to coming through the birth canal, I believe that each of us, before choosing in said, Okay, well, this time, my big lesson is gonna be XYZ. You know, I think for me, I don't know, but I think that my big lesson this lifetime is around acceptance and letting go, because that keeps coming up in my significant relationships, in the big experiences of my life, acceptance, letting go, acceptance, letting go, acceptance, letting go. And I think that what I'm hearing you say too, that I really appreciate is especially that tool, the 12 minute journaling. Because so often I have parents come to me wanting to work with me, because they want help in changing their kids, in changing the behavior of their kids. And I get it and I appreciate it, and I always celebrate anyone reaching out to me. And it's not, and it's that's not what it's about, right? It's not about that. It's we are. We are on each on our own, as as interconnected as we all are. I think it's such an interesting play, like we're so interconnected, and yet we are on our own individual journeys. And that's you know, as my kids were the places where my kids struggle, or something that I've said repeatedly to different clients, like this piece of your child's life is just one thread in the tapestry of the full picture, right? And so while there might be a struggle right now, while third grade might be really hard, or junior year is turning into a shit show, this is just one small piece of of what's going to forward them and become this larger journey in life. And I think bringing it back to the significant partner, significant other, our beloved I love that phrase, our beloveds. You know, I have no doubt that the people who are the significant others in our lives right now were cosmically energetically pre this lifetime, chosen. Mm. Together, like, Okay, this is who we're going to be for each other in this lifetime, and maybe the lessons that we are choosing into and I want to tell everybody I love Carolyn Meese. I don't know if you know who Carolyn meese is.

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 30:12
I trained with her. My teachers absolutely yes,

Casey O'Roarty 30:16
the sacred contract. So that's course. I mean, that was so profound for me to learn about, and it makes so like it almost makes me want to cry just talking about it, because it's it makes so much sense to me that the people that are closest to us in our lives showed up and said, Oh yeah, I'm going to be your daughter, and I am not going to make it easy for you, but that's how you're going to move towards this lesson that you've declared as being the spiritual lesson that you want in this human experience. We're so far off of my outline right now, but I just love this conversation,

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 30:54
yeah, absolutely, because it speaks to you, because it's, you know, it's the conversation that we're all of us. We're having it right now. I mean, what you're saying so eloquently is what the Greek philosopher Epictetus said, that it's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. Yeah, that's really it's not about the cancer, it's not about the unpredictability. It's not about that we're all cooped up. It's not about whether he's drinking, he's not drinking, she's drinking, she's not drinking. It's not about whether you know their their family secrets that now that we're care cocooning, they're coming up. It is not about that. It's about what are you choosing to do about it? Yeah, it's about one of my other teachers that used to say David Hawkins, who used to say, Love dissolves negativity by recontextualizing it rather than attacking it, and that's really the true happiness, when you think about it, we have an ability to recontextualize. We can recontextualize what's occurring right now so that we can use this time as a time that we're coming in and we really are cleaning our houses, we are cleaning our emails. And instead of having 40 million unread or half read emails, you can go through it, delete it, and really work with cycles of completion. That's what this is about. Yeah, this is about, you know, as Aug mandino, the author used to say, I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. And during dark times, this is the time for the stars to shine. This is the time that, when you ask, I said, it would be my privilege to be here and to be of service and from a place of humility, humility to really for you and I, to play this tennis of a conversation, and a dialog that perhaps your listeners may find, may be touched, moved and inspired and for themselves. They can slow down. They can take their own pulse of what's present for them. Instead of playing the same game that our parents have played and our grandparents of mind shaming ourselves and each other, finger pointing, blaming, attacking, all of a sudden, we're realizing that, oh, wait, if I attack something, I attach it. Yes, etymologically, attack and attach they come from the same roots. So if you attack something, you attach it. So when the significant other calls and says he's been drinking. He wakes up and he's drinking. What do I do? It's like, Well, look, given the givens, is there a way that you could stay in your loving you could be kind instead of attacking him, instead of making him wrong? And that is the connection that you're talking about. That connection is far more important, and wanting, instead of wanting to force our children to do the right thing, I can't tell you how many times, and I'm not advocating this, and I'm not recommending this for anybody you know, as there's 7.8 5 billion people on the planet, I don't have a cookie cutter that you know that really the beauty and the privilege is to sit across from Whoever crosses my path and I cross their path, and to listen to their story and to see how best I could be of service to them, whether through nutraceutical, whether through pharmaceutical, whether through hypnotherapy. Therapy, homeopathy, osteopathic medicine, Anthroposophical medicine, or the tools that we all have, and we all have various different tools. But I'll tell you one story that there was a young man that he was just he kept being attacked because the mom and dad, they kept blaming him that he was smoking weed, and I sat down, and I said, Okay, you know Johnny, why don't you wait? Let's just call him Johnny. Why don't you wait outside. And and I had a communication with the with his parents, and I said, What are the judgments that you're holding against Johnny? And they said that all these fears that they had, you know, Against Weed, that it was a gateway and Johnny was going to get destroyed. This, this, this, this, I left them with a consideration, not even a recommendation or a prescription. I left them with a consideration that perhaps they could work with their judgments, releasing their judgments to the point that they would be willing to give Johnny the dignity of being a human being, and at the age of 21 choosing whatever it is that he wants to do, that took him in a place where Actually his father eventually agreed to sit with him and actually, for the first time in his life, smoke with him, and they had this deep connection. And I'm here to tell you that was the last day that Johnny smoked, because he always wanted this armor that dad was wearing, this armoring that Johnny felt that he could never do anything right. All of a sudden that day, through that experience that they shared, Johnny's experience was that dad's armor just dropped, and I saw him and I had a soul connection. I cried. He cried. We hugged. I got what I needed. His thirst was quenched, yeah. And instead of attacking Johnny, they had a different outcome.

Casey O'Roarty 37:16
I love that story, and I also will say because I've, you know, had similar conversations with parents around, you know, looking under, we talk about the iceberg metaphor a lot. The Weed smoking is at the tip of the iceberg. What's happening underneath, what's happening inside of relationship. And I just want to acknowledge also that it is a big leap of faith

to trust that it was dropping the armor that was going to make the difference versus what we've so many of us have been conditioned into, you know, we strong arm them into doing the right thing, or we, you know, narrow the path by consequences and bribes, to narrow the path to get our kids to do the right thing, or to get our significant others, or whoever it is that we're trying to manipulate their experience and really trusting that, you know, I love what you said about coming in with kindness, and I can't even tell you how perfect it is that I'm having this conversation with you on this day of my life. It's very, very relevant to some experiences that I've had in the last 24 hours. But it makes such a difference, right? And I have a really, I have a teacher, a friend who talks about the Formula E plus r equals O, so experiences and events plus our response equals the outcome. Well, the only place that we really have any influence is in how we respond. Right events and experiences are going to happen, and we can influence. We can't control outcome, but we can influence the outcome based on how we show up in our response, and that, to me, requires this, what we're talking about, this consciousness, this willingness to recognize I have a choice on how I respond to my child, how I respond to my partner. There is a choice. And sometimes I know some of you are listening, and it's like, man, it doesn't feel like there's a choice. I go from zero to 60. Yes, it's true. And when you make an intentional practice of being, like you said earlier, slowing down, you know, for me, it's a meditation practice, where, every day, I can sit in stillness and I can practice letting go of thoughts. Letting go of thoughts. They keep coming. I get to practice letting go of them. I get to practice letting go of them. I get to practice coming back to breath. Here come the thoughts. Practice coming back to breath. And because I do that every day, or close to every day, when things get out of control or feel like I'm being triggered and those past hurts come up, I can say, wait a minute, I'm going to come back to breath right now and feel my feet and be in the present moment and then respond to this. Because if I don't do that, then I'm just reacting. And it's typically of the flavor of blame, shame, you know, humiliating, not productive ways of being in relationship with the other person. So I love everything that you're talking about now, do you? And I also want to say, I think it's a privilege. And I just want to speak out to listeners who are listening but also feeling like, yeah, if I wasn't a single parent with, you know, having been laid off with bills to play, it'd be really easy to use this time to slow down and reframe my existence on the planet, but there's a lot of things for you to be thinking about and and I just want to speak directly to those people, and I'm going to allow you to do The same, yes and Right, right? Yes, all of those things and and there is room for you at this table, right? There is room for, I think, every single person, no matter the flavor of challenge, the flavor of cocooning, care, care, cocoon care. Cocoon, no matter the flavor of your care cocoon. There is space for you to elevate in your consciousness around how you're treating yourself, how you're treating your kids, how you're being with each other. So what would you say? You know, because I you know, I know, I know I have close friends that you know really want to be with. The slowing down, but it's high, high stress and survival mode. So how do you what would you say to them?

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 42:07
I You said it so eloquently. I'm speechless, really, because I think you said it all because the way that we treat ourselves within is the way we treat everybody without outside? Yeah, and the conversation that we're having, the conversation is, how can we be conscious of our true purpose as human beings now, in the context of a parent as a as a power, as a parent, and we can focus on creating connection. Creating connection, yes, instead of a winning, instead of wanting to, you know, instead of winning a conflict, you know, where we we can act from a position of, this is what we're talking about. Can you you single mom, single dad, lost everything. Yes, you have a lot on your plate. Here's what we're talking about. We're inviting you. We're inviting you to consider that you can act from a position of authority instead of superiority over you know, over your children, because authority, being an author, authority allows us to provide guidance through wisdom, and they listen superiority hands out orders from Ego. Authorities, accommodating and you know, and and objective superiority is about winning power struggles,

Casey O'Roarty 43:47
yeah, being right, yep, that's right.

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 43:49
Authority supports connection. Superiority creates competition. This is what we're talking about. We're talking about, listen, slow down. There is a connection we all of us. There is 7.8 5 billion of us on this tennis ball that we call University of life, and it's floating in the middle of nowhere, and it's rotating around itself and around a giant basketball that's a million times larger, that we call the sun. There is a mystery here. Maybe the things that we worry about day in, day out, maybe they're not as significant, yeah. Maybe there is a reason that you lost your job. Maybe there is a reason that the hardship, the suffering that you're going through, and that is the essence of intellike medicine. Yeah, intellike, it's not a fancy term. It, you know, it first was coined by Aristotle, and here's what it means if you've ever seen for you know, if you've ever seen an acorn, you know exactly what intellike medicine is. Intelligible. Medicine is the movement of the acorn becoming an oak tree. Intellike medicine. And says that listen sometimes when we are too dense and we don't listen and we don't hear the whisper the body speaks, because the body is the theater of our consciousness. And it could be a cold, it could be a cough, it could be a low immunity, it could be an autoimmunity. Could be anxiety, depression, and yes, even the C word cancer. So sometimes we get sick simply because we need to care cocoon. We need to be interrupted, and we need to interrupt the madness so that we can create this spaciousness for a new beginning. And let's face it, as a family doctor, I've delivered over 33 babies, and I'm here to tell you, every birth is bloody. That's okay. Just because it's bloody, it doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. It's a birth of a new consciousness. I

Casey O'Roarty 45:58
love that. Ah, so good. And I just want to say listeners, if you're feeling a little like, I don't know, puckered up by this conversation, I'm just going to invite you to do that 12 minute journal exercise. If there's something here that's kind of triggering to you, because there might be, and that's okay. I'm completely okay with that, as I'm sure Dr Sadeghi is as well. We want to rile you up. We want you to feel your experience. So I just invite you to kind of play with God. What is it about this? Either, what is this? What is it about this that's making me real excited, or, gosh, I feel a little uncomfortable, or this is challenging me in one way or another. Take some time to really process that, because there's probably something really juicy for you to learn about yourself in that process.

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 46:49
Right? Juicy is juicy is great? Yes. Listen to uncle, Uncle Billy. Listen to William Shakespeare, Hamlet, where he said there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so, yeah, so you are triggered, if you are so, because there is a way that you're thinking you're holding this and it's bringing a lot of old hurt, and you know emotions for you when you know I Love the fact that you know, when I teach medical students or residents or fellows or other physicians, I ask them, I ask them. I said, you know the first time that a human being gets exposed to a trigger that gets exposed to something like poison ivy or poison oak, the very first time, what happens to them? And they all fall in, usually, and, you know? And they say, Well, you know, they swell up, or they become edematous, and they release a lot of histamine, they stop breathing, and they go into anaphylactic shock. They have a rat, they have postules and so forth. And then they're shocked when I tell them the first time that any human being gets exposed to any antigen, including poison oaks or poison ivy, nothing happens. Nothing happens because that body absolutely has no antibody, because the first time you take the antigen, you take it inside, and we have these real fancy cells that we refer to as AP cells, or antigen presenting cells. They break down the antigen, the poison oaks, Poison Ivy, and they produce antibody. And you store up the antibody. It's only the second, third, or the millionth time that that happens to you, that's when you have all these ill feelings that they resurface and you start projecting it onto other people. This is not the first time, if you're triggered, something has been triggering you for a very long time, and you have an opportunity to see what it is and to actually heal

Casey O'Roarty 49:04
it. Love it.

Now, initially you were going to come on and talk about your book, so I'm going to try to create a good bridge. Right now we've been talking about consciousness, especially in the context of today, care, cocooning. I'm going to use that and just where we are as on the planet. But, you know, and we talked a little bit about partners and loved ones, significant others, and sometimes our, you know, our sacred contract with somebody else isn't meant to be forever. And so you've written a book called conscious uncoupling, and I also read a blog post that you wrote about conscious completion, and I would love for you to talk a little bit as we wrap up, I want you to talk a little bit about this, give us a little sense of this, and let my listeners know where they can find more information about this. Absolutely

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 49:57
the conscious. Is Completion. And completion with clarity is a book that currently my beloved Dr Sherry Sammy and I are writing. The last book that I contributed is the clarity cleanse. And the clarity cleanse was really I took a length of time sabbatical, and after the loss of my brother, who was an interventional cardiologist, the most the most intelligent human being I knew, graduated from murdad, graduated from medical school at USC University of Southern California, top of his class at the age of 21 and you know, he had a lot of challenges, and it ended up costing him his life. He was diagnosed with Parkinson disease, and eventually he consciously completed his life. He took his own life. So to deal with that deep grief, I moved all my pain and suffering into this book and you know, and it was in the memory of my brother, Dr sidgi murdaugh siddeggi that I you know, that was the incentive. The book is the best. I think. Review that I got from the book was by a dear friend, Professor Coleman Barks, who wrote the best selling book on the globe when it comes to poetry, the essential Rumi Professor Coleman Barks translated all of Rumi's poems, and I sent him a copy, and he just nailed it. And I'm gonna just basically tell you exactly you know what he said. Quote, this brilliant and challenging book is also kind and gentle, like its author, the clear the intensely practical, Habib. Add five drops of lavender oil to your bath. A cup of epsom salt will also help. By the time you finish reading this, you will have found a new friend, and that new friend that professor, renowned poet Coleman Barks is talking about, is our most authentic person inside. Then that connection between our heart, our mind, our soul that allows us to be the author of our life, regardless of what curveball is thrown at us. Where can

Casey O'Roarty 52:28
we get that book? How can I get my hands on that book?

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 52:31
The clarity cleanse is sold anywhere that you usually purchase. You know, purchase your books on Amazon. They can go to being clarity.com being as in B, E, I N, G, being clarity.com and they can follow I write a newsletter once a month, and they can follow us at Dr Habib sidegi on social media, Dr D, R, Habib, H, A, B, i, b, sedegi, S, A, D, E, G, H, I, dr, Habib, sidegi on Instagram and various different social medias.

Casey O'Roarty 53:12
Wow. What important work you're doing, and are you? Is there a book conscious uncoupling that you've written, or are writing? Yeah, tell me about that.

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 53:21
Yeah, we are writing it. Okay. It basically came out of I mean, it's out there, but so I can talk about it. We had the privilege of working with Gwyneth Paltrow, MS, Gwyneth Paltrow and Mr. Chris Martin when they chose to complete the relationship as husband and wife and the context that we provided for them, the, if you would, the, you know, a new perception and edited reality was uncoupling with clarity, where they could uncouple as husband and wife, and they could keep their family, their family together. And I want to give one more source of renown, just an amazing human being. Darby Fox. Darby da, D, A, R, B, y. Darby Fox wrote a book that I've had the privilege of writing the forward to. It's, it's called rethinking your teenager, shifting from Yes, shifting from control and conflict to structure and nurture to raise accountable young adults and given the current zeitgeist, this is a must read. If you have a child, if you have a niece, a nephew, if you are a father, a grandfather, if you are an uncle, if you are a best friend, please purchase this and read it and then give it to someone who they have children, because it really talks about the essence, the opportunity, how our children or our new teachers and they're ushering in a new consciousness. For all of us and for a deeper level of flexibility to be present for all of us.

Casey O'Roarty 55:06
Do you know that I have two teenagers,

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 55:09
you know? I didn't know, I don't know anything about you other than I. I just love being in your presence, your consciousness, your line of energy is incredibly profound, you know, and it's such a joy and privilege to be here.

Casey O'Roarty 55:26
Thank you. Well, it's so, so great to have you. Where else can people find you? Tell me your website. You've got the newsletter that you write. Can you just briefly and you already mentioned the social media. What's the website where people can find you? No

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 55:44
problem. It's w, w, w, dot being B, E, I N, G, clarity, C, l, a, r, I t, y.com, okay, being clarity.com, basically has. They can, they can download a copy of the Pew 12, which is the purged, emotional writing 12 minutes. It's a specific, formatted, structured way that you can write and release and resurface these old thoughts patterns that we pass on and we somaticize. And it's free. They can download it. They can also, you know, register and sign up for our newsletter. And

Casey O'Roarty 56:25
if you don't know what somaticize means, it means how things manifest in the body, right?

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 56:30
That's exactly right, realizing that there is a continuum between mind and body, just like a water bed. If you step over here, something will pop up on the other side. Got

Casey O'Roarty 56:40
it. Dr Sadeghi, thank you so much for coming on my show.

Dr. Habib Sadeghi 56:45
It's my privilege. Thank you for inviting me. Thank you for your profound consciousness and your flexibility and really allowing Spirit to guide us so that we could improvise. And you know, and I it just really allows me to melt even deeper into the inner knowing. And here we are, what we talked about. It's exactly what you needed, given what had occurred the previous 24 hours. You know, there is a mystery, there is a connection, there is a current. It's time for all of us to let go and breathe. I All right,

Casey O'Roarty 57:23
I really hope this was a powerful use of your time. Thank you again for being here with me. Big thanks to Chris Mann from pod shaper for making the show sound so good each and every week. If you loved this show, will you do me a favor? Will you take a screenshot and post it on your social media so that others can see what you're listening to and finding value in tag me too, so I can celebrate your love, or feel free to head over to iTunes and leave a review. This helps others find me and follow the show. Thank you. And as you head into the rest of your day, remember, find your breath, follow it into your body, lift up and out to the balcony seat for a broader perspective and know that everything is going to be okay. Thank you so much for listening. I'll see you next week

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