Eps 256: Untigering Our Parenting with Iris Chen


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This week my guest is Iris Chen.

Iris is a writer, unschooler, and founder of the Untigering movement. After starting out as a hardcore tiger mother, she began to untiger when she saw all the negative effects of her authoritarian parenting. Now she’s on a mission to empower others families by promoting mental health, peaceful parenting, and educational freedom for children. She recently moved back to California with her husband and two sons after 16 years of living in China. 

Takeaways from the show:


  • Tiger parenting and its cultural meaning

  • Iris’ experience growing up and how that played into her parenting

  • How patterns of how you were parented can show up into the subconscious

  • Shifting to a different way of parenting

  • Doing the inner work so your relationships with your kids can improve

  • Holding space for your emotions

  • Learning to filter assumptions about children and parenting through a lens of love and respect and anti-oppression

  • The swing from demanding parenting to permissive parenting

  • Leaning into trust and connection

  • Having a positive way to manage dysregulation

  • Taking apart the baggage around making mistakes in parenting

  • Making mistakes is an opportunity to model ownership, responsibility and humility

  • Holding mutual respect in the relationships with your children

  • Bringing awareness to the fact that children are worthy of honor and dignity and certain rights

Where to find Iris:

Website | Book | Instagram | Facebook

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I really love how you paired those two words together because they’re not often put together like that. But when I think of Joyful Courage in terms of parenting I think of a kind of hopefulness and a trust. No matter what the situation is, there’s still that underlying spirit of hopefulness and trust. The courage to let go. The courage to let go of the lie that we need to be in control of the lie that we have to be the one in charge and do things the way it’s always been done. The courage to try something new and to let go. 


See you next week 🙂 


Parenting for the Brave New World Mini Summit

We are all walking into a new year with baggage –  some of it is collective, some of it unique to the individual… . But none of us escaped the radical journey that was 2020.

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  • Tending to our parenting soul

This summit will be releasing February 1st, but you can sign up for the summit right now for an early bird special of just $29!! This includes the 5 interviews and a BONUS course. 

I am also offering a NEW feature to the summit, a VIP offer. VIP’s get a swag bag (while supplies last & U.S only), a summit workbook, and post summit live classes with the speakers. Your summit VIP pass will get you access to useful tools to support your learning and opportunities to interact with the expert guests.

Head over to joyfulcourage.com/bnw to find out more.



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