Eps 256: Untigering Our Parenting with Iris Chen
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This week my guest is Iris Chen.
Iris is a writer, unschooler, and founder of the Untigering movement. After starting out as a hardcore tiger mother, she began to untiger when she saw all the negative effects of her authoritarian parenting. Now she’s on a mission to empower others families by promoting mental health, peaceful parenting, and educational freedom for children. She recently moved back to California with her husband and two sons after 16 years of living in China.
Takeaways from the show:
Tiger parenting and its cultural meaning
Iris’ experience growing up and how that played into her parenting
How patterns of how you were parented can show up into the subconscious
Shifting to a different way of parenting
Doing the inner work so your relationships with your kids can improve
Holding space for your emotions
Learning to filter assumptions about children and parenting through a lens of love and respect and anti-oppression
The swing from demanding parenting to permissive parenting
Leaning into trust and connection
Having a positive way to manage dysregulation
Taking apart the baggage around making mistakes in parenting
Making mistakes is an opportunity to model ownership, responsibility and humility
Holding mutual respect in the relationships with your children
Bringing awareness to the fact that children are worthy of honor and dignity and certain rights
Where to find Iris:
Website | Book | Instagram | Facebook
What does Joyful Courage mean to you?
I really love how you paired those two words together because they’re not often put together like that. But when I think of Joyful Courage in terms of parenting I think of a kind of hopefulness and a trust. No matter what the situation is, there’s still that underlying spirit of hopefulness and trust. The courage to let go. The courage to let go of the lie that we need to be in control of the lie that we have to be the one in charge and do things the way it’s always been done. The courage to try something new and to let go.
See you next week 🙂
Parenting for the Brave New World Mini Summit
We are all walking into a new year with baggage – some of it is collective, some of it unique to the individual… . But none of us escaped the radical journey that was 2020.
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Adolescent mental health in times of uncertainty
Raising the social justice advocates we need
Modeling and embracing financial literacy during difficult times
Tending to our parenting soul
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Head over to joyfulcourage.com/bnw to find out more.
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READ THE BOOK – Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book
CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING – The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → besproutable.com/parent-coaching
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