Eps 263: Solo Show- Belief Behind Behavior Deep Dive Part 1: Undue Attention


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This week’s episode is a solo show!

Takeaways from the show:


  • Perception matters

  • The goal of behavior is to find and feel a sense of belonging and significance

  • Iceberg metaphor

  • Mistaken goals: Undue attention

  • Connection vs. attention

  • Tune into how your kid’s behavior makes you feel

  • Parents contribute to beliefs kids have about connection

  • The coded message behind annoying behavior is notice me and involve me usefully

  • Redirect by involving your kids in a useful task

  • Say what you will do

  • Avoid special services

  • Plan 1 on 1 time with your kids

  • Involve your kids in creating routines

Click the image to download and print the chart

Click the image to download and print the chart

Resources mentioned: Eps 261 | Mistaken Goal Chart 

See you next week!! 🙂


Getting clear on Boundaries, Consequences and Punishment: Middle School and Beyond…

FREE WEBINAR THIS TUESDAY (that’s tomorrow for anyone listening to this show the day it’s coming out) from 5:30 – 7pm PST.

This webinar is for you if you are a parent or a caregivers who are currently parenting kids in middle and high school. The information presented and activities facilitated come straight from Positive Discipline theory.

During the webinar we will:

  • Connect around the common goal of raising teens with character and life skills

  • Tease apart the difference between punishment, consequences and boundaries

  • Learn the tools and mindset for more collaboration, problem solving and follow through

Participants who engage in the webinar, try on the learning, and put the tools into practice will be able to make an impact on the challenges they are facing with their child.  AND, this may be a starting point for you. There is nothing magic about what is shared in this webinar, the magic exists in how you implement what you learn and your willingness to try again and again and again.

All you need to do to get signed up is go to joyfulcourage.com/webinar


Parenting for the Season You’re In – MIDDLE SCHOOL AND BEYOND

I am super excited to announce that there is a BRAND NEW LIVE CLASS happening for parents of Middle Schoolers and BEYOND in March!

Each week will be a live session with me, where I will deliver content and facilitate learning, followed by time for parent hot seats – time for parents to share their real and relevant challenges and get laser sharp coaching from me!  AND, each week participants will get a downloadable guide as well as a companion audio meditation to use to stay connected to what they are working to integrate into their relationships with their adolescent.

Some of what we will cover includes:

  • Being with the roller coaster of the teen years

  • Recognize where we are adding to our kids discouragement, and how to step back into relationship

  • Communication tools that build resilience and connection

  • How kindness and firmness looks the same, and different as our kids get older

  • Being the parent you want to be

School, screens, peers, attitude – all of what you learn during the Seasons course will support you showing up to the challenges of THIS season in a way that aligns with your values.

Here’s what parents said about the Seasons course: 

“In these uncertain times I needed the grounding I get from Positive Discipline. Casey does a brilliant job of teaching the core concepts and guiding you through the challenges of putting them into practice. This program is for everyone. If you are familiar with Positive Discipline it’s a fantastic refresher. If you are new to Positive Discipline this will be a game-changer for your family. Your time and money will be very well spent. ”

— Mama Sarah

“I loved learning what draws us closer to our children and what pushes our children away. I know this stuff, however it was good to have it in a list that so clearly gave me visuals for how those actions show up in my life.”

— Mama Kimberly

Head over to www.joyfulcourage.com/seasons to find out more.



Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING – The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → besproutable.com/parent-coaching


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Join our email list! Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! Joyful Courage is the adolescent brand here at Sproutable. We bring support and community to parents of tweens and teens. Not a parent of a teen or tween? No worries, click on the button to sign up to the email list specifically cultivated for you: Preschool, school-aged, nannies, and teachers. We are here for everyone who loves and cares for children.

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Classes & coaching

I know that you love listening every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in your parenting journey. Casey O'Roarty, the Joyful Courage podcast host, offers classes and private coaching. See our current offerings.


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