Eps 589: Revisiting Thoughts On Motivating Adolescents

Resources mentioned:

Eps 242: Nurturing a Self-Driven Child With Author Ned Johnson

Eps 292: SOLO Show- Being Present With Your Teen’s School Discouragement

Transcription

JC Ep 589 (7.10.25) - Final
[00:00:00] Casey O'Roarty: Hey there, popping in at the top of the show to get you excited about today. We're revisiting episode 2 97 from the fall of 2021, all about motivating our teens to help out and follow through when they say they're gonna do something timeless topic, right? I loved reviewing the content of the show. 2021.
[00:00:25] It feels like a lifetime ago, and I talk about my kids a bit and where they were during that time. It prompted me to want to share here and remind you that no matter what you are moving through with your kid right now, whatever the high or the low of this moment is, it's all gonna keep evolving. It is all gonna keep evolving.
[00:00:51] Nothing stays the same. My friends lean into community, find support. You're not moving through this time alone. I know this show will offer some useful tips about how to communicate with your kiddos about things like chores and contributions. There is explicit clear language and mindsets that are covered as well as how to set up.
[00:01:14] An environment for cooperation and follow through. Let me know what you think. Enjoy.
[00:01:25] Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Joyful Courage Podcast. This is a place where parents of tweens and teens come to find inspiration, information, and encouragement in the messy terrain of adolescents this season of parenting. Is no joke. And while the details of what we're all moving through might be slightly different, we are indeed having a very collective experience.
[00:01:50] This is a space where we center building, relationship, nurturing life skills, and leaning into our. Own personal growth and man, the opportunities abound. Right. My name is Casey O'Roarty . I am a parent coach, positive discipline lead trainer, and captain of the adolescent ship over at Sproutable. I'm also a speaker and a published author.
[00:02:13] I've been working with parents and families for over 20 years. And continue to navigate my own experience of being a mom with my two young adult kids. I'm so honored that you're here and listening. Please give back to the podcast by sharing it with friends or on social media rate and review us on Apple or Spotify.
[00:02:32] Word of mouth is how we grow. Thank you so, so much. Enjoy the show.
[00:02:44] Hi friends. I am so excited to be recording a brand new solo show for you. Guess what? I'm also recording on a brand new microphone with brand new. Headphones. I feel very pro right now. I'm not gonna lie. I went to a podcasting conference last weekend and you know, next year it will be seven years that I've been doing this podcast.
[00:03:09] Isn't that crazy? I started in 2015. I started in 2015, so I figured, you know what? It might be time to uplevel the equipment. Chris Mann my buddy over at Pod Shaper, my editor. Of the podcast was really excited when I told him that I got a new mic. So new mic, new sound. Hopefully better sound. Hopefully I've figured out how to make it work and it sounds good in your ears.
[00:03:35] Also, done some other traveling. A couple weeks ago I was in San Diego, saw some of you there. I was at the Positive Discipline Conference. And think Tank. So big shout out to all the positive discipline educators and trainers that are listening now that told me over the weekend that you enjoy listening to the show.
[00:03:57] Thank you first for supporting me and my work and finding value here, but also huge thanks for the way that you are making a huge difference in the world and in. The communities that you live in. And I'm just so inspired to be walking beside you. I mean, listen, the positive discipline community is so incredible.
[00:04:18] And by the way, if you are like, I wanna get in on that, I wanna be a positive discipline parent educator. Guess what? In February I am doing another parent educator training, so you can actually. Become a positive discipline parent educator. If you want to just go to my website and uh, go to teaching parenting on the little navigation bar and that'll get you there.
[00:04:39] That'll get you there. Yeah. And you know what? It's been 15 years since I. Was first trained in positive discipline. 15 years you guys, that's like the age of my kid. Not for much longer. Ian's turning 16 in about 10 days, which is crazy. But yeah, 15 years of spreading the word of positive discipline of imperfectly, practicing it with my own two kids and just loving it.
[00:05:07] Loving it, but like any journey, there's been ebbs and flows for sure. And most of it has to do with, you know, my kids' behavior. It's easy, right? It's easy to feel overly attached and connected to our kids' behavior because it can feel as if our parenting is cause and effect. In a lot of ways it is, but there is also.
[00:05:30] You know that our kids are individuals making their own choices and doing their due, so it's slippery. Right? And I know for me, when things got really hard as we moved into adolescence, and you all have heard me talk about this. That's when I was like, I have been duped by positive discipline. What is this?
[00:05:49] What is going on? How am I supposed to be with this teen situation? Anyway, as you know, I stuck with it and things are really, really good for that child of mine. I wanna give you all a little update on my daughter. So many of you have followed our journey and know the story of Rowan. My sweet, beautiful Rowan who really came into high school struggling anxiety and depression, was very potent and real for her.
[00:06:16] And eventually, a couple weeks after the start of her junior year, dropped out of CO of high school and kind of went into this long period. It felt like a really long time of. What looked from the outside looking in, like doing nothing, um, but, you know, doing lots healing, surviving, and then got her GED and went to esthetician school last spring.
[00:06:44] You may have seen on my Instagram that. A couple weeks ago, she graduated from esthetician school. She graduated from esthetician school and you know, after about a week of downtime, she decided to apply for some jobs and she decided she wanted to look for, I. Like an office receptionist kind of job, a front desk medical center job.
[00:07:10] And she sent out a bunch of resumes all on her own. She tweaked her cover letter, um, to match each of the places, each of the job offerings. She got three interviews. She got two job offers. And today, today's Thursday that I'm. Recording this today was her fourth day in a full-time position at a local optometry office.
[00:07:35] And she is super excited. She's really tired. She is, has just totally stepped into her confidence and her purpose and just the most beautiful possibility mindset. She is designing her life. Right. She's in the design of her life and I'm so honored to watch her on her journey. It's so good. So, you know, also shout out to my friend Jessica, who it felt like a million years ago when things were really hard with Rowan, when I just was really in dire straits.
[00:08:09] She told me, you know, you'll get to the other side. She's gonna get to the other side. Things are gonna feel different. You'll be connected again. And I remember in that moment I was like. Okay. And that doesn't really help me right now. Ugh. But I can just close my eyes and go back to that mama that I was and wrap my arms around her and just tell her, hang on, hang in there.
[00:08:34] Trust your daughter. Trust that things are gonna be okay. Seek out help. And trust that things are gonna be okay. It's true. Stay the course. Things are temporary, my friends, and you're here, you're listening. You're in the practice of working on being the best parent you can be for your kid. I. For your kid.
[00:09:02] So I'm gonna circle us back on what our topic is gonna be today. I'm really excited. This is something that just keeps coming up. It's a theme that keeps coming up in different contexts in my parent groups with my private clients. And it's that whole conversation around how to motivate our teens, right?
[00:09:21] How to motivate our teens to care about school, or care about chores, or care about spending time with you, right? Or care about, you know, their health and wellbeing, their sleep. I've been talking so much about this with parents, how to motivate our adolescents. So there's two directions we're gonna go into.
[00:09:43] One is how do we break down the armor or the, you know, kind of the shit wall that, you know, builds up between us and our kids? How can we break that down so that we're actually speaking human to human? So that's the first thing that I'm gonna cover today. And then the second thing. Is, how do we allow them, and you've probably heard me talk about this before, but I'm gonna do it again.
[00:10:07] How do we allow them, offer them, hold space for them to feel the tension? How do we hold space for them to feel the tension so as to make that internal decision to change or to do something right, or to get up to shift, to pivot. So those are the two places we're gonna go. Those are the two places we're gonna go.
[00:10:32] And let me tell you, I am coming at you as a real life parent, right? I have definitely been in the spin out of, nobody wants to help out. Nobody does anything around here, which is never totally true. But it can feel like that, right? Nobody ever helps. Nobody ever does the dishes. Nobody ever wants to clean their room.
[00:10:51] So I've been there. I know what that feels like, and, and it's interesting. I just had a parenting class. Tonight and we were talking about how, you know, we work on the relationship with our kids and it's not like we get somewhere and we're like, okay, sweet. We're here. Now it's gonna be like this all the time.
[00:11:09] No, it's this ongoing practice of connecting, of creating agreements, of problem solving, of tweaking those agreements, of looking for new solutions, of checking in on how things are going. Like it's this ongoing thing. Right. It's an ongoing thing, but today I really am hoping that what I share with you is gonna make a difference.
[00:11:30] So let's co-create some value today. We're gonna co-create value. And what I mean by that is, as you listen, I want you to notice when you're kind of shutting down or shutting off, thinking that, oh, this doesn't apply to me, and I want you to move into how does this apply to me? How can I take this concept and put it inside of our experience of.
[00:11:53] Our friction, right? Of the rub that's happening in our family. So we're gonna, I'm gonna bring what I bring and I invite you to bring a mindset that is open and ready and impossibility. Okay? So let's break down the armor. How do we break down the armor so that we can actually connect with our kid? Right?
[00:12:11] I think you know. Teen years especially, we can just feel like there's this gap between us and their, our kids, and that they just don't wanna have anything to do with us. Right. We fall into, and I've been there, I've worked with parents who have been there in that place where it feels like our teens just, they don't wanna talk to us.
[00:12:31] They won't talk to us at all. Or maybe the exchanges are one word answers and they're just not giving anything away. Or there's a lot of anger thrown around. There's a lot of anger and hurt being thrown around. Here's what I'm gonna tell you, and you get to just trust me on this. Teenagers want to be connected to their parents.
[00:12:52] They want to have an adult that has their back. They want an adult they can confide in and connect with. They want an adult that can handle what they're bringing, the highs and the lows, and the sideways and all of it. Right. They want somebody who can hold space for them. Relationships are super complicated, right?
[00:13:13] All of our relationships are complicated, and the interesting thing about the parent teen relationship is. You know, teens are going through that individuation process. They're in the practice of learning skills, right? Communication skills, listening skills. Their perspective is continuing to broaden, right?
[00:13:35] They're continuing to move through experiences that are slowly, broad, slowly keyword, slowly broadening their perspective, right? And then we, the adults, we've already had. 40 plus years, most of us of being humans. And so we have the perspective that we have. Sometimes we actually stall out though. That's one thing that can get in our way, is when we think, okay, listen, I'm 40, I'm 48 years old.
[00:14:02] I know everything I need to know. I see the world the way that it is. Side note, you see the world, the way you see the world. You don't see the world the way that it is, right? None of us do. We all see the world. The way that we see the world, right? So it's like this mismatch and we're trying to be in relationship with our teens and we forget that we are coming from a different place and that our teens are still in development.
[00:14:29] Co relationship inside of that dynamic is complicated and it really requires us, the adult to be on our best behavior as much as possible, to hold the perspective as much as possible, and to be willing. To look at things from their shoes. Right? Not to mention, our kids, just like every other human, they're meaning making machines, right?
[00:14:54] They're meaning making machines, and the filter that they're making meaning of the world is, is limited because they've only had, they only have 13, 14, 17, 18 years of life experience, so they don't have a great meaning maker. Right. They're, they perceive they're good perceivers, they're not so skilled at the meaning making so well-intentioned, loving parents trying to offer support and help and direction and maybe a little bit of pressure.
[00:15:23] The experience of that for the teenagers might not necessarily be, oh, thanks, you're really helping me out. It might be shit, you know, my parents, they don't think I'm capable. They think I do everything wrong. They don't get me. Right, so they're making that meaning through their filter, and they might be getting a different message than what we're sending.
[00:15:53] Another tough thing around the crap that the armor that we build between. Our ourselves and our teenagers that get in the way of relationship is that we take their Indi process personally. We take it personally. They push us away. We feel hurt. They only wanna hang out with their friends. We feel hurt.
[00:16:13] They're pushing against our values. We feel hurt. Right. They're taking risks, sometimes really scary risks. God, do they not care about us? How dare they, right? All of these things are part of the individuation process. They are wired to pull away. They are wired to turn towards their friends. They are wired for novelty seeking.
[00:16:35] They're wired to push against the status quo, which by the way is you. Right? So we, this is a place where we get to really do our work and quit taking things personally, we mean well. But our offers of support can feel very invalidating to our teens. It feels invalidating. We were just talking about this tonight in my, uh, parenting for the season.
[00:16:57] You're in class, a positive discipline class for parents of teens, and we talk about, and I've done this exact thing, Rowan can attest to it, you know, she was really low time. And man, it just seems so simple to me. It was like, you know, just come outta your room, get some fresh air, do some yoga. What I didn't know.
[00:17:18] Said that was really invalidating. She did not feel seen when I offered suggestions like that. And they don't trust that we can handle or hold space for what they're going through. And right now our kids are going through a lot, right? Our kids are going through a lot, this whole COVID situation, the, the political fighting that the adults, the adults are not behaving well at all.
[00:17:46] Climate change is confusing and complicated and very doom and gloom. Sorry kids. Sorry we couldn't get it together. It's scary out there. Plus, you know, individuation, isolation, not being able to go to school, like my son's going to homecoming this weekend. Hopefully if it doesn't rain because they're doing it outside for an hour.
[00:18:09] Homecoming dance outside for an hour. As long as it doesn't rain. What is that? What is that? So it's tough out there. It's tough for our teens. And of course all of this is like that. You know that shit wall that's building up between us as we try to be in relationship with them. So what's the solution?
[00:18:31] What's the solution to that armor that gap that's getting in the way? The first thing is, like I said, human to human conversation. How can you. How can we continue to be in conversation with the person inside of the teen body, right? And a lot of times, you know, they might have some swagger or some angst, but that's just the coat that they're wearing.
[00:19:00] Inside of that is that developing human being who is wired to be in relationship, is wired. To be in relationship, to know that they're cared for and cared about. Um, so really thinking about that, like the human inside of me connecting with, with the human inside of my teen. And it's a, it's a process, man.
[00:19:25] Keep showing up, keep showing up even as they close the door, even as they, you know, get in your face and maybe even say hurtful things. Keep showing up. Close your mouth and listen. Do less talking and more listening. Ask questions. Be curious. Trust them. You know, trust your kids. Let them know that you trust them and not like, well, I trust that you're not gonna do stupid things.
[00:19:53] I mean, bigger than that. Like trust that whatever they're going through right now, um, might actually be in support of growing them into who they're meant to be. Right. Leave your judgment at the door. Get a life people. Right. I'm saying this to you and I'm saying it to myself when we are super, and you heard me talk about this with Alana a couple weeks ago on the podcast of Codependency, and, and I get it, you know, I get it when it gets really hard.
[00:20:22] We really dig in and we're really attached, of course, to the health and wellbeing of our kids and. All. It's really important that we take care of ourselves and that we have a life beyond being the parent of a teenager. And finally, finally, a way to break down that armor. A way to break down that armor is to let go of a detachment to how things will look right?
[00:20:48] Because you might get down to the armor, listen, you guys know I'm the queen of this, right? I had to totally let go of what I thought was a standard. You know, situation like high school and college and like the path, the common path, the traditional path. And, um, man, you know, it was really hard for me to let go of that.
[00:21:10] I didn't even realize I was attached to it until it was pulled out, out from under me, and I was shown something really different and it, and I, I couldn't make sense of it for a while. Now I'm really glad that I got to go through every, every last minute of the last few years with my oldest. Um, but man, going through it was, it was really hard and I had to take care of myself and I had to look for opportunities to have a life I.
[00:21:39] Right. So that's the first piece. If we want to motivate our teen, then we have to be able to communicate in a real way. And the only way that we can communicate in a real way is if we're having that human to human conversation. If we're cutting, cutting through the judgment and, um, the tension, right? That, that, that exists between us.
[00:22:02] Now, listen. Okay. Listen, I know this is hard and it takes time and it's not one conversation. It's not, you know, okay, do this for a week and everything will be better. We gotta really be committed, you know, and committed to showing up regardless of how quickly or slowly our kids open up to us. But I promise you, they want you, they want you in their life.
[00:22:26] They wanna know, well, they might not wanna know your opinion, but. They wanna be asked permission to give it, right? They wanna be seen by you. They want you. They wanna know that what's hard for them is acceptable, is accepted by you, right? They wanna know those things. So there's that. There's that. What do you think about that?
[00:23:00] The second thing around motivation is allow them to feel the tension of the world. We care so much about so many things that they don't have to, right? Like we care so much. And you've heard me talk about this a lot, um, grades in school, right? We care so much that they don't have to, or it feels like we care more about.
[00:23:29] The grades and the school or the chores, then we care about them. True story, right? It feels like we care more about how they do in school than how they're doing in general, right? They're making up stories all the time. They're making up stories all the time about how capable. They think, you think they are.
[00:23:57] They're making up stories around and asking, do my parents even care? Do they see that I'm struggling? The more isolated they get, the harder it is to reach across that divide. So you get to create those stepping stones. You know, another thing that gets in the way right is, is that we rescue them last minute.
[00:24:18] We don't follow through. We keep the problem. Problems is our problems instead of our teen's problem, and their only problem in the end is how annoying we are and how to avoid. Spending time with us or talking to us, right? So these are the things, this is, these are some other things that get in the way.
[00:24:38] So solutions, right? How to allow them to feel some tension. So I'm gonna tell you a story. I had a wonderful client session this week, and the mom we were talking about her teen daughter and the messy room. And you know, I know this seems like, oh geez, messy rooms. Come on. I got bigger problems than that.
[00:24:59] But let me tell you, the messy room thing comes up a lot. It comes up a lot. So I'm guessing that the vast majority of you might be like, well, I've got a lot of problems, and messy room is one of them. So we were talking about this and she was sharing about how her daughter gets really overwhelmed and um, you know, kind of does a half-ass job.
[00:25:21] All the things right, all the things. And I asked her, I asked this mom, I said, well, like what are the non-negotiables? What are the non-negotiables? What are the, what are the things that that have to, in your opinion, have to happen when it comes to cleaning rooms? And she said, well, you know, if she just emptied the garbage and get the dishes out of the room, I would be fine with that.
[00:25:49] And I was like, great. Let's start there. Let's start there. Let's create a agreement with her around garbage and dishes, because those are two pretty simple tasks, right? You create an agreement, you decide which days, what are, what are the days that garbage and dishes come out of the room? Of course, we'd love to say every day, I'm gonna suggest twice a week make that agreement and let that be the messy room agreement.
[00:26:18] Now, what happens is. And this was something the mom was like, well, but you know, like she does her laundry. This kid does her own laundry when she does her laundry and she brings it back to her room, but she doesn't put it away. And so the laundry, you know, she doesn't have clean clothes and they're all over the floor.
[00:26:36] And I said, great. So what's gonna happen when she ignores her clothes and then needs something to wear? She's gonna feel the tension. I. Right. She's gonna feel the tension. And that might come with a big meltdown that you have to deal with. Yes. And you get to say like, oh man, do you want me to support you with a plan so that this doesn't happen again?
[00:27:00] Or even better, what could you do so that you feel really good about having the clothes you want when you want 'em? What might be an idea around that? How can I help you? This really sucks. Yeah, it sucks. You don't have what you want. Right? And so instead of being the enforcer, we get to be on the sidelines with them looking at the problem and saying, wow, yeah, I can see how this is a problem for you.
[00:27:28] Yay. It's a problem for them. How might you solve it? Right. And remember that messy rooms and chores are low risk places for your kids to feel the tension. They're low risk places for us to hand it over and to quit being in charge doesn't mean like, I mean the whole messy room thing. Listen. If you are someone who's like, you know what?
[00:27:52] The rooms are, their rooms. I don't need to get involved in that. It's fine. Great. Love you. I'm not that person. I just get too worked up. I can't deal, like I just went into my son's room today. I have to just close the door and not look in there. But we do have, you know, every week, every weekend is. You know, everybody cleans their room.
[00:28:14] It's just kind of something that we do well. It is something that we do. It's planned, so I know that it's gonna happen. I wish that it happened more often, and sometimes I'll throw out like, Hey, if you're gonna go to basketball tonight, make sure your room's tidy before you leave. And sometimes he doesn't and sometimes he doesn't.
[00:28:30] And I get to decide how worked up I'm gonna get about it, knowing that every weekend the room gets cleaned.
[00:28:48] So this is one of those places also where often our, what's important to us just isn't important to them, and once it becomes important to them, they're gonna show up differently. Right. I was a S slob in college. It was very, you know, we had a cleaning lady growing up and I kept my room pretty clean 'cause I had to, went to college, didn't care, get really messy, especially the kitchen.
[00:29:14] Oh my god, my roommates and I were kind of gross and you know, now here I am in my own house and there's a certain level of cleanliness that happens that I want. 'cause it's my space, it's my things. It's on me. Right. Trust that when it's on them and their space, things are gonna be different or not. But guess what?
[00:29:33] They get to live in it, right? You getting really worked up around their rooms and chores and having it look a certain way isn't really teaching them skills. It's more creating a battlefield. Right. And what we want most is to teach them skills and skills show up when they feel the tension of, what if I don't do this right?
[00:30:01] And also I will say, because you know, if I was like, oh, they'll do their chores when they feel the tension. No. What happens is we do the chores when we feel the tension, but chores are something that we come back to weekly and we talk about 'em. How's it going? What's a plan? How can we make this work better?
[00:30:21] What do you wanna do this week? Like, it's just common. We just, it's just a thing that we talk about. That's the firmness piece, is that we talk about chores and we make plans for chores, and we expect the kids to follow through. And sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. So this week, Ian did great. A couple days ago he did his job and then the last two days he didn't.
[00:30:42] And so when he came home today, I said, Hey, can you make sure you sweep and take out the garbages? Those were yesterday and today's job. Can you just get that done right now before you go clean out the car? That's a whole nother story. I am soon to have two teen drivers, which is terrifying. Anyway, so it was just because of the relationship that we have and because of the kind of ongoing, this is what we do as a family expectation around helping out.
[00:31:07] It's not, you know, a big power struggle to say, Hey, do your job. 'cause it's expected. Of everyone and we revisit it and I don't get worked up about the fact that we have to revisit it. That's another thing that kind of shows up with parents sometimes is. We take it personally when we have to revisit things, and I'm here to say like, let's normalize the revisiting hashtag normalize the revisiting.
[00:31:36] I'm saying revisiting. I'm not saying nagging. Right? Those are two different things. Revisiting agreements, revisiting the plan, trying it for a week. What's working, what's not working? How can we tweak it? Gathering information, finding out. Here's another thing, finding out what's getting in the way. So one of the parents in my class tonight was talking about.
[00:31:56] You know, trying to support her son in, in, uh, helping with the bathroom. But she forgot, you know, she was trying something new and explaining to him why it was important, which very well intentioned. And I, and I paused her and I said, okay, but you're missing this one piece around. Tell me about your experience with the bathroom.
[00:32:19] This is what you say to your kid, right? Like, tell me about. Your bathroom and cleanliness, how do you want it to look? What do you notice about me? Right? What does it feel like when it's time to clean the bathroom? Is there anything you don't like? Do you have any questions? Is it hard? Like we wanna find out what's happening for them, what's getting in their way so that we can support them, so that we can problem solve from a place of knowing what the real problem is.
[00:32:44] If we sit up top around, well, the problem is they're not cleaning their bathroom. We're missing, we might be missing some things. So let's drop into what is the problem for the teen, right? What's the problem for the teen? Do they not have any cleaning products in their bathroom? Okay, let's get you some cleaning products so you don't have to, you know, so it's right there when you need to do it.
[00:33:04] Is there no deadline? Is there no timeline or time of day and day of the week that is ex that's explicit and followed through on? Is it that, you know, you keep saying clean the toilet, but they've never actually really been shown how. Is it that, could you maybe show 'em some tricks and tips for making it easier?
[00:33:24] Right? And then again, what can you handle, right? What's the non-negotiable? So I've talked a lot about school and this whole, let them feel the tension. If you missed those episodes, go to episode 2 92 with Ned Johnson or the solo show I did a couple months ago, or maybe last month, 2 92, where I talked about school discouragement.
[00:33:49] And speaking of discouragement, sometimes our kids' discouragement is bigger. Than you have skills for. Sometimes discouragement is bigger than the family can hold, and that's when you get help. And there is no shame. There's no shame in getting help sometimes help looks like. Signing up for a parenting class or finding a therapist for the family, or finding a therapist for your teen, or talking to the guidance counselor or looking for another adult in your teen's life that they feel close to that isn't you, which I know it's like, oh, I want them to talk to me though.
[00:34:29] You might not be the person and that's okay because at the end of the day. You want your teen to feel supported, and if it's not by you, let it be by somebody else and be honest with how you feel with your teen. With no blame, right? Be honest. You might say like, oh man, I wonder if I've made you feel like how dirty or clean your room is is more important to me than what's going on with you.
[00:34:56] Or if you feel like I only care about a clean house and not. You know, your life. Own that. Own that. Clean it up and let them know that you need some help in, in, uh, creating something different. The goal is to be in relationship with your teenager so that no matter what they go through, they know they have people who see them and love them no matter what.
[00:35:21] Hard times are moved through because of the supportive family. And results, listen. Results aren't guaranteed. So check your expectations and remember that this is your teen's life. Things may be challenging along the way, but you have no idea what those challenges are preparing them for. We don't know the outcome.
[00:35:45] Be with right now and fight for relationship. Fight for relationship. Oh, what did you think about that? I know talking about motivating our teens and I got real deep motivating our teens. So we wanna break down the armor so that we're connecting human to human. That's gonna support us in motivating our teens in listening and following through and showing up well while also allowing them to feel some tension.
[00:36:13] Pull back, pull back a little bit, let them feel the discomfort of. No gas in the gas tank. Whoa. How does that feel? Running outta gas or you know, no clothes 'cause the laundry hasn't been done or something like that.
[00:36:37] Thank you so much for listening. Thank you to my Sproutable partners, Julietta and Alanna. Thank you Danielle, for supporting with the show notes as well as Chris Mann and the team at PodShaper for all the support with getting the show out there and making it sound good. As I mentioned, sharing is caring. If you're willing to pass on this episode to others or take a few minutes to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, it helps other parents find this useful content.
[00:37:04] Be sure to check out what we have going on for parents. Of kids of all ages and sign up for our newsletter to stay connected at besproutable.com. I see you doing all the things. I believe in you. See you next time.