Eps 434: Navigating challenges while also having faith in our teens

Episode 434

This week I talk about how it keeps coming back to owning our own sh@t. This is the juicy spot. This is where the real transformational space of parenting exists. This is where we get to nurture AND ENVIRONMENT that is safe for our kids to step into. This is where we can start to dismantle the walls that have been built over time and make room for connection.

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Takeaways from the show

  • Reflections on my convo with Ian and the theme of letting go
  • Every one of us is working through challenges and concern
  • What to remember when your teen is pulling away
  • Being intentional with whatever response you are choosing
  • Keeping the iceberg in mind
  • Finding faith and a growth mindset about your teen
  • Doing your own inner work

Joyful Courage…. today this means putting down the distractions and living in an intentional way that moves me closer to the connection, health and well being that I crave.

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kids, relationship, podcast, listen, peer group, feel, grounding, faith, conversation, dynamic, janae, kiddo, book, huddle, break, behaviour, talking, influence, interview, trust

Casey O'Roarty 00:05
Hello, Welcome back. Welcome to the joyful courage podcast, a place for inspiration and transformation as we work to keep it together. While parenting our tweens and teens. This is real work people. And when we can focus on our own growth and nurturing the connection with our kids, we can move through the turbulence in a way that allows for relationships to remain intact. My name is Casey already, I am your fearless host. I'm a positive discipline trainer, space holder coach and the adolescent lead at Sproutsocial. Also mama to a 20 year old daughter and a 17 year old son, I am walking right beside you on the path of raising our kids with positive discipline and conscious parenting. This show is meant to be a resource to you and I work really hard to keep it really real, transparent and authentic so that you feel seen and supported. Today is a solo show and I'm confident that what I share will be useful to you. Please don't forget sharing truly is caring. If you love today's show, please please pass the link around snap a screenshot posted on your socials or texted to your friends. Together we can make an even bigger impact on families around the globe. If you're feeling extra special, you can rate and review us over in Apple podcasts. I'm so glad that you're here. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Enjoy the show. Hey, everybody. Hi. Welcome back to the podcast. It is solo show time you and me today, my friend. And to start, I'm gonna reflect on and use my interview this week to inspire and inform the conversation here in the solo space. So did you listen this week? So last episode I had my son, Ian on it was the day after his 18th birthday that we recorded, which just blows my mind that my youngest is 18 It's so weird. It's so weird. I mean, it's kind of like one of those things, you know, there's certain birthdays, and he mentions this for himself in the podcast. But for me as a parent, there are certain birthdays that just feel like you so huge, right? And this is one of them. Like I'm looking at this kid who is not a kid. He is a young adult, he is a young man. And, man, this birthday really kind of launched him into that space in my experience. And you know, he's been this big person for a while. But adding to that the fact that he's 18 is just mind blowing. Anybody else have that experience? 16 felt really kind of crazy to? I don't know, I remember when Rowan went from 14 to 15 That felt like she had really arrived in the real teen years. Something about being 15? I don't know. I don't know. So as I really listened to my interview with him this morning, and some of the things that I took away that really kind of were highlights, for me was this theme of letting go and handing over responsibility. You know, Ian brought that up a lot in our conversation, meandered into some different places. And that theme remained my hope and sharing the conversation within with all of you is to model best I could what it sounds like to be in a non judgmental conversation and really bring faith and trust energy into how we be with our kids. Right. And trust. This is a theme that's showing up with clients to trusting and having faith that they are learning growing and developing. Right, even when mistakes happen. And listen, Ian is not perfect, right? He is not like this perfect example of, you know, perfection. I think we think that oh, this would be so easier if my kids just didn't make mistakes and we're driven and all of those things. So it gets a lot of absences, which we talked about on the pod. He is not a straight A student. He does things engages in behaviours that I wish he wouldn't. We've had some big things come up that I've had to hold on things that he has shared with me. There are things that I do not love. There's decisions that he's made that I wish he wouldn't have made. Right? So this isn't about, here's how you grow a perfect kid, a perfect 18 year old. It is about an example of here's how you can be in conversation with your kiddo. And maintain nurture relationship through the process. Right? I'm not perfect. Either I micromanage like even just this morning. Well, last night, or maybe two days ago, I asked Ian about when his next appointment with his college counsellor is and he shared like, I don't know, she hasn't told me. And she was supposed to take a look at my essay and the Google Docs, and I can see that she hasn't been in there. And so I offered like, well, you could reach out to her, you could be proactive, and also thinking about the amount of money I'm spending on this person, like, you know, navigating my own, like without judgement about her, but also looking at this opportunity to remind him that being proactive is always a choice. Right. So that happened, and then I checked in with him yesterday. Hey, have you emailed or texted Janae? No. Okay, well, you might want to do that. Why don't you do that right now? Right. And then this morning, again, asked, so did you get that email tech centre? Janae? And he said, No, he said Not yet. And I said, All right, well, you could do it now. And I walked away. And I thought about my interview with him. And I thought about doing the solo show and reflecting on the interview. And I decided I went back into the room he was in and I said, that's gonna be the last time I mentioned reaching out to Janae. And I realised that I'm being a little micromanaging. And he said, Okay, right. So, sometimes, you know, we get to be in our own work all the time, really, we get to be in our own work, and pay attention to what we're doing. Right? Like, I want to get in touch with Janae, I want to be like, Hey, hi. When are you going to, you know, reach out to me and, and the whole reason I got this college counsellor was so that I was not the manager of this process. That's why we did this. And so I get to pull back, I get to do my own work, and let them let her work her magic. Let him be in the process and practices tools. Right. Yeah. And listen, sometimes, you know, things feel more intense than they feel between Ian and I. And, you know, it always comes back to relationship. It always comes back to relationship, you guys. Hopefully, you don't get tired of me talking about this, because it's really kind of the I mean, it's the anchor, it's the core, it's the essence, it's the thing, right? It is if there is a magic wand, which there is not if there is a magic formula, which there is not. It would be relationship. Right? And listen in is, as you're going to hear if you didn't already listen to my interview with him. He's relatively easygoing. Right. And he likes a sense of calm and peace. And there have absolutely been times where I have been on the precipice of losing him, because my own fear and worry gets in the way. Right. He has pulled away we have had situations where, you know, I start to feel this sense of dread and gloom and doom and like, Oh, my God, have we arrived at this time where now my teenage son hates me and doesn't want anything to do with me and is going to just totally retreat? I've been in that place. I hate that place. By the way. It's sad, lonely and scary. Right. And there are some steps to take. When fear is in the room. The teacher has arrived, right? The opportunity to pull up and out and look at what's happening is really available in this moment, right fear can actually be this indicator, this prompt this push towards. Let me take a broader look at this. Right Is something going on beyond the very developmentally appropriate individuation process.

Casey O'Roarty 09:49
I mean, they are going to pull away, right? They're not going to share every single thing with you. That's okay. They don't need to, nor do you want them to. Maybe you do but then when you have All the information sometimes it's hard to hold, right? So we get to be in that question like, is this just typical, like, pulling away? individuation? Or is this something bigger? Is this a response to what I have contributed to the dynamic, right? That's a great place to go doing that internal inventory. I have, like kind of an influx of new clients right now. And this is where I start with people in one on one coaching, right? They come to me because they're worried and fearful of their kids behaviour, and they want to get ahead of it. They want to influence it. And the first place that I take people is towards that internal inventory. How have I been in contribution to the dynamic I'm finding myself in with my kids, regardless of what the kids behaviour is, regardless of if the challenge is school? Or risky behaviour or friend drama? Or, you know, withdraw? I want clients to start with, how have I contributed to the dynamic that's happening between me and my kiddo? Maybe it's around this topic. And I think it's really important because regardless of the behaviours that we're seeing, that we don't like, being able to talk about them, being able to dig deeper, explore, be curious, be encouraging, using the positive discipline tools, we've got to be able to have this like clean space between us and our kiddo. Right? And that cleaning up can happen on our side, right? That's where we have control. Can our kids clean some stuff up? Yeah, of course. But guess what their kids, you're the adult, their kids, you are the adult, and the only thing you can control is what you do your contribution, right to the dynamic into the relationship. Before you can get to any of the issues that are going on, you have to clean up the dynamic, the power and impact of what you do or say, increases exponentially when you're in a mutually respectful relationship with your team. So that's why when I work with coaching clients, we start there, right? How can we infuse this relationship that you have with your kid with mutual respect, right, and the first step is to clean things up to own when you have shown up in any certain way that may have been perceived as judgmental, critical, right. That's what you get to do. And I will say to right that we recently in my membership programme, we do book clubs a couple times a year, and we just this week had our book club meeting for our most recent book, which was eight setbacks to take your kid towards success or something like that. I'm so sorry, the books over there. I can't see it. But it's by Michelle Eichert. And she actually was on the show, Episode 419, I interviewed her about the book, Turning failure into character building moments with Michelle anchored that was the name of the podcast. And, you know, in reading her book, there is when we're really in the muck with our kiddos like this doesn't have to do with n but I'm kind of moving into like that experience of when things are really hard. And big mistakes are being made. She in her book talks about a process her processes contain resolve evolve, right? We read the book in my membership. And in the contained piece, she talks about sometimes needing to decrease our child's exposure. Right. And one of the tools that is brought up in one particular example in the book is grounding, right is taking the phone grounding the kid, decreasing the child's exposure containing them. And in our book club, and because of, you know, the foundation of positive discipline, there was a lot of discussion about this, like, God, this feels really harsh. This feels really punitive grounding as a tool for changing behaviour on the surface feels very much like not useful. And I believe that too. I was having these moments of like, I'm not really sure about this. And I think we can reframe and I bringing us back to this relationship building, right? When containing the child or decreasing exposure is a punitive thing. Right? When it looks like grounding, taking devices is like, Okay, we got to teach them a lesson. Or they need to understand that I'm not okay with that, when we use grounding, or taking their phone away, right, that's always painful as the delivery of the message, it's a shallow surface, short term tool, basically. And again, I'm talking about like, when things are going sideways, right, and we want to do something about it. There is this opportunity to build relationship. And I think, when we can reframe and I've recently, I think I mentioned this already, but we have a six part Podcast coming out after the first of the year with my business partners, Julieta Skoog. And Alana Beebe and I, Jules talks about, you know, the family huddle, right when things are going sideways, bringing this energetic family huddle, meaning time connecting, and filling the belonging and significant buckets, how do we do that building relationship, taking inventory, owning our own contribution to the problem, right? We also fill those belonging and significance buckets by validating the experience that our kids are having, it must be really hard to be out in the world and have a bunch of friends who are, you know, also off the rails? How do you navigate that that must be really tough, right? Validating, listening to understand instead of the judge or fix, listening to understand listening to understand your child better to get to know your kiddo better, to piece together and break through the assumptions that you're making. So that you're actually seeing your kids from a place of knowledge and understanding instead of making guesses, right. This is this energetic family huddle, time to connect filling those belonging and significance buckets. We do that through curiosity, communication, communicating our faith and trust in them. Right, if that's what it looks like, to kind of shut things down, if things have gone kind of, you know, big and sideways, and maybe you're not in the market for a coach, but you do feel like okay, there's some things happening that I'm scared about, I'm not okay with, right. And it does feel like some containment would be useful than containment alongside this energetic, quote, family huddle, right, this relationship building is really important, right. And it's a tough tool to use when the relationship is fraught, right. Also, it looks different for a 13 year old than a 17 year old. So when we've got a 13 year old, or a younger teen who is engaging in behaviours that are scary, that are high risk, right, we want to set the groundwork that this is what we do as a family. This is what we do, as a family, we come together, we process what's going on, and we give you a break from it. Right? Like we will be the facilitators of giving you a break. Remember, this generation coming up, they never get away from their peers, they never get away from the drama, thanks to the smartphone and social media, right, thanks to the adults not seeing what was coming. And now we're in this weird, freefall, it feels like sometimes, so they don't get a break. So we have to create that break, it is appropriate to give them a break. It's not the same as you've done the wrong thing. And now I'm taking your phone, or I want you to do this thing. So I'm taking your phone, that is not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about punitive consequences, because they've made a mistake I'm talking about, hey,

Casey O'Roarty 19:07
this is a big deal. Right? This is a big deal. And we all need some breathing room and a break from it. Right? So one of the ways we're going to take a break is we're going to really cut back and limit your screen time, right? We want you to have room to just be you without all this extra stuff that might be appropriate. Right might be appropriate is really key that you are in your intentionality around this. Right? What is the intention? If the intention is I think I can get them to do what I want by taking away this thing that's so important to them. That's gonna get really messy and probably not going to lead you towards the outcome that you want. If the intentionality is, I see that you're struggling and I see the world kind of Coming in on you. And I want to decrease your exposure and give you a break. That is the purpose of limiting your screen time. And I hear and I know like, absolutely our kids and their relationship with their peers matters, right? It matters. And what also matters is for them to have a break. Right. And because of the way that smartphones are designed and social media is designed, they're not going to give themselves a break. I mean, it is designed to keep them engaged. So sometimes you have to create that break, while also having a lot of one on one time. And by one on one time. I don't mean like intense conversations about all the things I mean, like go bowling, go to a movie, go out to dinner, take a walk, play a board game, watch the show, do things that are not centering the mistakes that your kids are making. Right? So when we talk about older teens, yeah. relationship relationship relationship? Absolutely. And yes, to the coming together, right? You know, it's less about like, I got to get rid of their exposure. And it's more about like, they're one foot out the door. 16 1718 year olds, Junior seniors in high school, most of them not all of them, depending on their maturity level gear, the expert on your kid, they're one foot out the door. So what's really important at this point is making sure that you're helping them see how their choices are getting in the way of what they want, right? Or having conversations about, what do they want? There's definitely kids that that question is too much, too heavy, too big. And we're going to talk about like, under the iceberg situation in a few minutes. But helping them to discover and keeping the focus on what is it that they want, right, what do they want? And how are they going to get there? And how are the choices that they're making? Either taking them closer or farther away? I've been saying this a lot. So coming together, right? It might be a pause, it might be like, Hey, listen, we want you to stick around this weekend. Okay, things feel a little out of control. And here's the evidence of that. And we just like to spend some time with you. And just take a pause, take a breath. Right? That is valid. We can say that. And is there something to clean up? Right? Again, coming back to that, remembering that some of our kids are in such a place of disconnection, that if we're like, hey, stick around this weekend, you know, you're grounded, not useful, but we can change the language and the intentionality. We think it's a great weekend to take a break. Things have been busy, things have been hard. Things have been coming up that are not great indicators around, you know, how your decision making. And I'm worried about that. I think this weekend, we need to just kind of Huddle up. Some of our kids are in a place of such disconnection that they might just give us the middle finger as they walk out the door. You can't make me and can we? I mean, what are you actually willing to do? Tackle them? Lock them in their room? Like physical force? It's not where we have influence, right? All of a sudden, I was like, unless you're the rock. I mean, that's a giant guy who can probably pin anybody down. But is that what we want? No. This is where the problem isn't just the behaviour, but also the dynamic that we have contributed into the relationship, what we've contributed to, right. temperamentally, who do we have is our kid, right. Some of them are more easygoing than others. Some of them are more easygoing, because of the relationship that they have with us, and less easygoing, because of the relationship that they have with us. Some of them are wired, easygoing, or strong willed, right? So again, like I mentioned the iceberg, right? Or you guys have heard me talk about the iceberg a tonne on this podcast. And if your clients or you've been in my classes, or you're on my membership, we've dug even deeper, we have to come back to under the surface. Right? So we see we experience we worry about the tip of the iceberg. Those challenges and behaviours and these are behaviours, not like one off behaviours, one off behaviours, we get to be like, Whoa, tell me about that. What's going on, you know, and hold it lightly. But when we're in a situation where the same like it's becoming an ongoing problem, this is where looking under the surface is really important. Right? So it might be if the challenge is around, well, not even if the challenge is around this but you know, they're always in relationship with school, who they are at school how they feel at school or other places in their lives where they're, you know, there's expectations and there's relationships, you know, how is that going? Does school matter to them? Are they feeling like they can participate and be successful? Do they have thoughts and beliefs around themselves as students that are discouraging? What's going on with the peer influence? Right, and their peer group? You know, one of the things I talked about on my podcast with Erin, earlier this week is I, we were talking about how the more teenagers there are, the dumber they get right, their confidence goes up, their decision making skills goes down. And I was asking him, if that has shown up for him lately, and one of the things he said was, well, my peer group, they tend to make good decisions, which, great, I was actually really glad to hear that. I know that and it's still great to hear, what does peer influence look like with your kiddo? What is their self esteem look like? You know, and this is going on with some of the people I work with. And I've seen in the Facebook group, like, when the peer group is not great, or when there's a dynamic of like teasing or bullying, or hurtfulness, inside the peer group, that's something your kiddo might be holding on to all the time, like, I can't make any mistakes, or I can't do the wrong thing. And by mistakes, I don't mean mistakes in your eyes, I mean, mistakes in their peers eyes, because I will be ridiculed. Like that's a lot of stress and tension to be carrying all the time.

Casey O'Roarty 26:34
What is their perception of control and autonomy? Right? How does your kid feel about where they have control and power and autonomy in their life? Right? Because that's what they're wired for. They're wired to move towards evermore autonomy, teen brain development is real. What is their experience of you have already talked about this, their perception of judgement of you, either not being able to understand or hold what's going on for them? Right? They're making meaning about how you respond when they do share in all sorts of ways. And then again, like I said, temperament, what is their temperament? I mean, Google temperament, stages, or scale or whatever, and really understand where your kids temperament is. temperament is not character flaw, right? And as I've been using in this particular podcast, like temperament, can be, you know, those kids that are really easy going all the way on the other side, which are the kids that are more strong willed? And there are gifts? And, you know, non gifts, in both ends of that spectrum? Right. It's also important to keep in mind mental health, what's going on with their mental health? What's going on with their learning abilities? Are their learning challenges happening? Is there addiction, right? Is there an addiction can look in a lot like a lot of different ways screens? So beatab screen addiction is a thing, right? And I hear it a lot like, Oh, they're addicted to their screen. And it's kind of like thrown off as light. Like, oh, man, what a drag. They're addicted to their screen. What if they were addicted to coke? Right? Would you be like, yeah, they're addicted to coke. It sucks. Or would you be like, we got to figure this out? Because I hear they're addicted to their screen thrown out a lot. And it's kind of like, what's happened with the word bullying and bully? Like, there's a true definition of what dynamic constitutes bullying. And then there's, you know, teasing or just kind of someone who's an asshole, right. The same is true with screen addiction, like their screen overuse, their screen misuse and their screen addiction. So if you think your kid is addicted to their screen, you've got to do your due diligence and your work around getting them support. Right, because it's a big deal. And you know, when we talk about temperament, are we confusing temperament with a problem. I had this conversation with Valerie T, who will be a guest on the podcast in a few weeks. And she was sharing about her son, who tends to hold his cards really close. Right? And she tends to, you know, to kind of lead with her heart and she was just talking about how sometimes when she comes in hot, yeah, ready to hear about something ready to ask about something ready for curiosity. Her son kind of pulls in, right? He pulls those cards closer and doesn't want to share. It's like he can sniff out her desperation. And I think this is true for many of us, right? In the dynamics we're in. And some kids they're just not super forthcoming and open temperamentally. That's not who they are. It's not a kid. Dr. fly again. And it's not a problem, it's who they are. So can we be with who they are? And can we provide opportunities for who they are to step into a space where they feel safe enough to share what they need to share? Right? There are kids out there that are very forthcoming, in what's going on with them. And then there are others who aren't, because that's just not their style. So you get to really appreciate whatever style your kids have and hold space for it. Right? And do your own work around your desperation to know what's going on or to connect with them? connection can look a lot of different ways. And again, coming back to relationship, right connection relationship, do we know our kids? Do we know ourselves? Are we aware when we're influencing a dynamic? Have you ever had that? Like, it's like an out of body experience of the emotional freight train? Right? Like, oh, my God, I can see myself? Why do I keep talking? I need to be quiet. And I'm still talking, or holy shit. I'm giving a huge lecture right? Now I know this isn't going to be useful. And yet, here I go. Right? Have you ever had that, like that outside observer looking in experience? Are we willing to pause? Are we willing to have the outside looking in experience and using it as an opportunity to set a timeout? Are we willing to let go? Are we willing to have faith, you have to be willing to have faith in your kids, you have to, you have to. And if you are in that really desperate place? You know, I understand. I've been in that desperate place. And you get to dig deep and find faith and trust. Because what is the reality that you want to sit in on inside of what's going to be the most useful for you sitting inside of my kids is going to end up in a ditch dead in a ditch, or my kid is going to move through this and learn and grow at their pace, and it will be okay. And I'm not going to abandon them. I'm going to show up for them. I'm going to be a listener, I'm going to be a space holder, right? It's the difference between a fixed mindset, like the only road is to destruction versus a growth mindset. We can get through this, they can get through this, we can find resources, right? And your kid needs you to be in a growth mindset so that they can find their way to that mindset as well. Right? What did you hear in my conversation with Ian, what messages Did you hear me sending to him not with my words, but just in the way that I chose to respond to him? Right, that energy that I brought to our conversations, one of the tools that we talked about in positive discipline is empowering encouragement. And it sounds like I trust you, I have faith in you, I believe in you. And bringing evidence to those statements, I trust you because I have faith in you because I believe in you because they have a really good bullshit radar, right teens do this is not a technique or a strategy. This is relation ship tools, this is relating to our kids, this is allowing our kids to feel seen in a new way. You have to be in your authenticity. Right. And that might sound like I trust you. I trust that you're learning from the experiences that you're having. I have faith that even though things are really hard, you're gonna get to a place of feeling more confident. Right, because you're moving through it now. Right? I believe in you, I believe in your capabilities. I see you studying, I see you trying I see you asking for help. And, you know, are you religious or spiritual listener? Do you believe in a higher power? And the reason I ask is because I've been in some conversations recently, where parents really don't have faith in their kids. They're really just in this spin out of worst case scenario. And it feels like, Well, I'm gonna have to fake it because I don't have faith. And so, like, think about the places in your life where you do have faith where evidence, it's not about evidence, it's about something else. It's about trusting with your whole heart. Right? Higher Power, your relationship with higher power, use that same faith or even like, trusting in nature, you know, if you aren't religious, and you aren't spiritual, but you can look around and you can see, I mean, everywhere evidence is everywhere. You want to pave a sidewalk. What starts growing through the cracks? What creates the cracks nature, right? We can have faith, we might not have faith in the humans figuring out the climate situation. But guess what the earth is going to be okay. The earth is going to move on, regardless of, you know, our, the human ignorance and entitlement that's showing up, the earth is going to heal and repair and continue to grow. So is your kid, right? So find where you can see faith, right? Find where you can hold it, and apply that to how you're experiencing your kiddo. Right? Kind of love that. It feels really good to me. Because sometimes it is it does have to be a little bit of blind faith. But you know what? Go back. Remember your hard times, remember your lessons, what instigated and facilitated your growth? Where did you grow out of darkness. And, you know, if

Casey O'Roarty 35:57
you can't access those kinds of memories, if that's not useful to you start talking to the other adults in your life about their adolescent experiences, find out their stories, and look at them now. Right or watch movies or read memoirs. Like there are so many stories of resilience out there, where things have gotten even worse than what's happening with your kiddo. Go over to the hope stream podcast. Right? My friend Brenda Zane has been joyful courage a few times, she highlights stories, including her own, where her son was on the streets, he od twice. It's like the worst case scenario. And what is he doing now, he is supporting kids in their own recovery. He is living a healthy lifestyle, he is continuing to grow and heal from his experience. And he is making an impact on the world. You can't save your kids from what their journey is. But you can create an environment where they feel loved, seen and believed in, which will serve them in loving, seeing and believing in themselves. And that's how we have a positive impact on their journey. Right. That's how we increase the likelihood that they're going to be okay, dig deep, people dig deep. Maybe your relationship is similar to the one I have within, then the digging deep is in the letting go and managing the worry that you haven't done enough or checking your micromanaging tendencies when they come up, maybe your relationship is more strained. And you get to dig deep into that inner work of owning your part. You got to make things right, clean it up, you got to get in there and do what you need to do. So that the space exists for your team, to feel safe to expose who they are and what they're going through. Whatever is going on at the tip of the iceberg will be influenced by your work of nurturing relationships with your team. It's the entry point for navigating what's getting in their way. And sometimes what's getting in their way is you There you go. That's what I got for you today. This is feels like a long one. I had a lot to say. And I meandered a little bit that happens in the solo shows, we're just gonna hold that the nuggets are in there. The meander takes us to the places that were meant to go. So I so appreciate you. And I'm so grateful that you listen to the podcast. And something that I'm working on on the back end is really making sure that ever more people are finding the podcasts or listening to the podcast, and I could really use your help. So there's a couple things you can do. One is if you have friends that you love, who you know, would appreciate the show, send them the link, have them listen, have them subscribe. The other thing you can do is you can write a review on Apple podcasts. The more reviews I get, the more likely it is that Apple podcasts will recommend the show to other people listening to shows about parenting. So I need your help with that. Yeah, and then finally, you can just screenshot right now you're listening to the podcast probably on your phone, take a screenshot and share it in your social media and let people know what are you getting from listening? Right? You can also email me and let me know what you're getting from listening so that I can use your testimonial in my marketing and sharing as well. I love this podcast. I love the relationship that I get to nurture with all of you that listen, it's my favourite thing. It's my favourite thing and I'm honoured I realise you are taking time out of your day to listen and to trust that you can find value here and I don't hold that lightly. I'm really appreciative. All right. Yay. Have a beautiful weekend. I'll see you next time with an interview. Bye

Casey O'Roarty 40:18
Thank you so much for listening in today. Thank you so much to my spreadable partners Julieta and Alana as well as Danielle and Chris Mann and the team at pod shaper for all the support with getting this show out there and helping it to sound so good. Check out our offers for parents with kids of all ages and sign up for our newsletter to stay better connected at B sprout double.com. Tune back in on Monday for a brand new interview and I will be back solo with you next Thursday. Have a great day.

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