Eps 541: New Years Rituals with Karen Collins

What does joyful courage mean to you

I actually love those words together because courage often feels heavy, like it’s this heavy energy to me – this thing we have to do with our armor up or to rise to.  So, having joyful courage together kind of flips the script on what courage can be.  It can be a celebration, it can be a leading into something that’s joyful, easeful, light. I love it. That’s what joyful courage is – leaning into something.

Resources

Joyful Courage Membership 

Abraham-Hicks 

Mel Robins

Email Karen at [email protected]

Transcription

[00:00:00] Casey O'Roarty: [Music] Hi listeners, welcome back to the Joyful Courage podcast, a place for you to hopefully feel seen and heard as we talk about all the things that come with the season of parenting adolescence. Parenting teens is messy, no doubt. And when we remember that our kids are growing through what they're going through, and we are too.
[00:00:24] Things can start to feel okay. We can have faith and believe that everything will turn out okay. I am Casey O'Rourke. I'm your host. I am a positive discipline lead trainer, a parent coach, and the adolescent lead at Sproutable. I have two young adult kids of my own and have been in the trenches just like you.
[00:00:43] I love supporting families. I work one on one with parents all over the world. And I run a thriving membership program. Speaking of the Living Joyful Courage membership program, doors are now open for new members. And our first community call is January 15th. We currently hold about 40 people in the membership, many of which are in their second or third year.
[00:01:06] We do twice monthly group calls, quarterly one on one calls, office hours and have an active community forum. These are real parents moving through real challenges, showing up vulnerably and feeling the love and support from a like minded community. This is my very favorite way to support parents and I want you to check it out.
[00:01:25] Go to besproutable. com slash ljc and find out more. Again, that's besproutable. com slash ljc. You can get more information and you can get enrolled today. The door's only open to the public once a year, and we are waiting for you. Thank you for listening to my little promo. And now let's get on to today's show.
[00:01:46] [Music] Hey listeners. I am so excited to introduce you to my friend and my guest today, Karen Collins. Karen is a coach, facilitator, and leader. who is passionate about co creating sustainable change. She loves supporting people as they navigate their work life balance and partnering with them to make meaning of their life experience.
[00:02:15] She enables her clients to see the impact of what happens when healing and authenticity spreads from an individual to their family, their community, and to a larger consciousness in the world. For the last 20 plus years, Karen has supported hundreds of individuals and teams in self leadership and empowerment.
[00:02:33] Her experience is varied and includes transformational work, leadership, coaching, workshop, facilitation, and the development of her own successful coaching business, specializing in helping other coaches launch their business. Karen is a professional certified coach, holds a master's in higher education and is an energy leadership index, Master practitioner.
[00:02:57] That is so fancy. In her spare time, you can find her enjoying nature, playing with her family, and enjoying some of life's best pleasures in naps, quality dark chocolate, and a good book. Hi, Karen. Welcome to the pod. Hello.
[00:03:13] Karen Collins: Thank you. So excited to be here.
[00:03:16] Casey O'Roarty: Yes. Happy New Year. This is the first show of 2025. I wanted you to be my guest.
[00:03:23] Because one of your superpowers that I'm always in awe of is creating rituals. So talk to me, let's just start there. What is your relationship with ritual?
[00:03:35] Karen Collins: Yeah, for me, ritual is really a time To deeply connect, deeply connect with self, deeply connect with others, deeply connect with something bigger than ourselves.
[00:03:48] I find ritual very grounding, and when I'm really, really good at practicing ritual, I find it's very transformative, and I find that with my clients as well. When I think about ritual, it can be lots of different things. It could be like, you know, like a morning meditation. It can be connecting with nature.
[00:04:09] It can be a journaling practice, a gratitude practice, but it's something that really deeply connects us to something more. Even coaching sessions can be sacred, and that element of ritual can bring transformation alive for us.
[00:04:26] Casey O'Roarty: Yeah, I was going to ask, what is the difference between something that is ritual versus just something that you do?
[00:04:33] But what I'm hearing you say is sacred, the word sacred, and like, as I listened to you, when I think about ritual, just really being intentional around what we're doing. How else would you kind of tease apart what is ritual?
[00:04:50] Karen Collins: Ritual is something that We're doing that kind of cultivates and nurtures consciousness, right?
[00:04:59] It taps us into something bigger than ourselves. You know, there's like kind of this magic, spicy energy, I think that we can plug into. And I think that there's magic available if we're willing to like, you know, play with it a little bit. So yeah, I do. I think of it as cultivating consciousness, plugging into something bigger, but also like deeply, deeply plugging into ourselves.
[00:05:32] And I think something to note is I used to think that ritual or even just, you know, mindful practice had to be very like specific. Like I had to curate this beautiful, perfect space to have ritual, you know, like I had to have quiet and I had to have a clean space and I had to light candles and I had to like, it had to be a solemn kind of thing.
[00:05:56] And what I've been really playing with this last couple of years is doing ritual in chaos. So Knowing that I can have a messy house, I can have children running around being loud, and I can still create sacred space to deeply connect. And what's beautiful about doing that is you feel integration. You can feel both the sacred and the deep connection to self or something else while, you know, vibrant, crazy chaos human life is occurring at the same time.
[00:06:31] So, I really invite people to play with that. for
[00:06:33] Casey O'Roarty: that. Well, and I think that's so powerful because I feel like it's so easy to create reasons why, well, if I had more time, or if I had a quiet space, or if this wasn't happening in my life, or this wasn't happening in my life, and I love the idea that When we plug into ourselves, it's like this visual of like an energetic, like murky, like you can't see me right now listeners, but I'm like literally putting my hands out and like pushing aside all the human bullshit, whether it's our stories or.
[00:07:05] Just the humanness, right, that we all live with and we get to get in with our essence, our higher self, our source. And I think it does require that work around recognizing the human experience versus the spiritual experience. Like we're having the spiritual experience inside of this human casing, right?
[00:07:29] And so ritual becomes a place where we get to kind of, you know, unlock and take off that human casing, or at least dig in, like, dig into it to get to that core place. I love that. I love that. And I'm also a big fan of New Year's. Some people are like anti New Year's resolutions and anti New Year, New You.
[00:07:55] And I, and I get how it's easy to set ourselves up for failure sometimes when we're a little too ambitious with and now I'm gonna, you know, have 20 extra things that I'm going to start doing today and do perfectly every day from now until forever. Right. I get that. And I love the energy of New Year's. I love the idea that we get to have a reset and have a start again.
[00:08:24] And I know New Year's Day is just a day. But we can also hold it as a touchstone, right? Like a place where we can be intentional about creating something new. How do you feel about New Year, new energy in this season?
[00:08:42] Karen Collins: Yes, I also love New Year's because it does feel like a reset. It does feel like a reset.
[00:08:50] does.
[00:08:51] And
[00:08:53] Karen Collins: I think it's also a time to connect What kind of the natural rhythms of life and nature and the seasons, you know, like wintertime is a time of kind of sinking in and hibernation and being cozy and New Year's like this beautiful opportunity to have that reflection time to think really about, you know, like what needs to rest.
[00:09:23] What wants to emerge. What can we align our growth with in what's coming next? How do we intentionally cultivate what we want in the year to come? And I think that It can be gentle, right? Like, I think that there are the New Year's resolutions, and those are powerful, right? Like, that kind of like, jumping into that energy is very powerful.
[00:09:50] Losing 30 pounds! Yeah, exactly. I think there's also this time for gentle reflection and intentional dreaming that moves beyond the pressure of these dramatic transformations that can kind of create more subtle, sustainable change, more meaningful change, where we really get to like, get in touch with what is it that I need?
[00:10:14] What do I want? What do I want this vibe of this next year to feel like? And then bringing that alive in our lives, giving birth to that in some ways.
[00:10:26] Casey O'Roarty: Yeah, I love that. And when we moved into the holiday season, I was really Working on, okay, what do I want to create, right? What do I want to create? Ease and joy.
[00:10:37] Ease and joy has been the theme. Yes. You know, and I love, I love what you're talking about because You know, hard things happen. We are relating to all sorts of different kinds of humans all the time. And that takes work. And they're having their separate experience. But my goal is always just to get better at being the designer.
[00:11:00] of my experience, right? Versus allowing and going back to like, can we be intentional and connecting with ritual in the chaos of life? Same, same, right? Can I create what I want even when the external environment is bringing me all sorts of challenges and things to navigate? So I. Love that intentional cultivation of designing what we want.
[00:11:26] And listeners, I talk about this all the time, right? You are mostly all parents of teenagers and it's an unpredictable, messy terrain. Karen knows too. She's got some teens as well that she loves and lives with. You never know what one day or the next is going to present, right? And they're having a really intense experience that era of their life.
[00:11:51] And so new year and ritual and intentionality can really be around. How do we want to feel as we move through 2025 with our people?
[00:12:05] Karen Collins: I love what you just mentioned, having those anchor words, ease and joy. That's something that I often do with my coaching clients and some practice I also do every year is kind of come up with a word of the year.
[00:12:16] What am I going to walk with in this year to come? And When the shit hits the fan, as it's going to, it's going to, it's gonna happen, no matter how intentional we are. Asking yourself the question of like, what would ease and joy do in this moment? Yeah. And leaning then into that, like our own innate wisdom.
[00:12:40] That knows exactly what to do in the moment to create youth and joy in any situation. So I invite that for everyone to come up with, like, what do you want to walk with this year? What do you want your word of the year to be? And, and, you know, intentionally like lean into that again, again, again.
[00:12:57] Casey O'Roarty: Yeah, I do the same thing with clients.
[00:12:59] And I, um, recently I had a call with a lovely couple and you know, they've got a tough preteen I asked the mom, I said, what do you think your daughter needs most? Right. And we came up with. And, and she's got big, like, just self regulation has not landed. So it's just a lot of really intense emotions. And the mom said, you know, I think that she wants belonging and inclusion and safety.
[00:13:31] And I said, okay, so, and then her intentions were, you know, Confidence and connection and maybe patience. I can't remember what her three things were. So as we were talking about challenges that, you know, that come up with her daughter, I said, so thinking about how can you respond in a way that creates an experience of belonging and inclusion and safety for your daughter, if that's what she ultimately wants.
[00:13:56] And, you know, so often the behaviors that we're confronted by, I know I'm going off on a tangent right now, but. I'm just going to go there. But so often the behaviors that we're challenged by, the gut instinct is, how do I shut this down? Mm
[00:14:09] hmm.
[00:14:10] Casey O'Roarty: And, and that's kind of a, a, a Band Aid, right? Versus what is it that my kid, what is it that this other person needs?
[00:14:21] And how can I respond in a way that helps them fulfill those needs? And sometimes it's, how can I take care of myself right now, first, right? I mean, I, I'm all for. Tending to yourself first, putting on the oxygen mask first, you know, finding the ease for me, finding the ease and joy, and then responding from that place while also thinking about, and what does the other person need?
[00:14:44] Anyway, I don't know why I started talking about that, but it was really profound. Intentionality. Yes, intentionality. Thank you. Yes, yes, yes.
[00:14:52] Karen Collins: Cultivating. what it is that we want to experience and making that choice in the moment.
[00:15:00] Casey O'Roarty: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or taking a few moments to like, nurture your internal experience so that you can make a more thoughtful, useful, Not only thoughtful, but useful choice for sure.
[00:15:23] And last month, so listeners right now, if you're listening to this in real time, you've been getting some emails from me about the Living Joyful Courage membership program, which has their doors open right now. Last month, you were my guest facilitator, thank God, because I really needed the support. Thank you for being there.
[00:15:41] You were a guest facilitator for a virtual retreat that I did with parents from my membership. And there was a few things, a few practices that you led us through that were so powerful for me and for the other parents on the call. Can you talk a little bit and share some of those things because I feel like they're basic enough that listeners can take them and make them happen.
[00:16:06] So, if you're walking, just notice the timestamp. on your podcast right now and come back to it. And if not, get a pen and a piece of paper because we did some really lovely ritual types of things. During the retreat to talk about that.
[00:16:21] Karen Collins: Yes. Well, first of all, I just want to say your membership community is, uh, amazing.
[00:16:31] I love, I love, it's such a gift to get to interact with your, your people like they're pretty right. So full. So wide. So willing, like it's just a delight. Yeah. Ready to go there? Yeah. I love it. Love it. So thank you So, so great. So it's such a gift. Okay. So yeah, for the retreat we did a couple of things. The first was an embodiment practice, so our.
[00:17:00] Our bodies have so much wisdom and it's something that we ignore often, like we aren't really in touch. I think we're so busy and we're so moving and we have to override our fatigue or override our stress or, you know, just, we're just constantly going, going, going, going, going. At least that's how my life is.
[00:17:19] And I, I find that with most. So to just kind of check in with the body itself is a really powerful practice. And what we did is we. Cultivated energy. So we reached our arms up really high into the sky and we kind of let the energy come into the body and come all the way through and we breathe that in.
[00:17:43] And then we exhaled down into our feet into the ground. And we did that cycle a couple of times. So like reached up to the sky. Breathe in what's available, bring it into the body, then ground it down into our feet. And then this is a time where we get to kind of shed and let go, right? So we did a practice where we actually brushed our bodies and kind of did tapping.
[00:18:10] Um, and and loosened up what has been stagnant and what's ready to be released and really get that energy ready to like just come off, come off, let it go and release all of that. So embodying however that looks for you, it's going to look different for everyone, but moving the body, shaking the body, you know, brushing your arms, your chest, your legs, brushing off and loosening that energy It's such a beautiful, ritualistic, simple practice, and you will notice a shift if you do it.
[00:18:44] I promise.
[00:18:45] Casey O'Roarty: Well, when we did it, I remember thinking to myself, I remember experiencing my body saying like, Oh, there you are. Thank you. Thank you. And as I'm listening to you, talk about it. I'm thinking to myself, why don't I, that's, I want to, I want to do that every morning. Why am I not doing that every morning?
[00:19:04] But yeah, it's like two minutes. It's not a long situation. And also at
[00:19:11] Karen Collins: night before you go to bed to like rush off and release the day is also a super powerful practice. Like getting, like releasing all of that energy, priming your body to rest. Yes. Love that. The other practice that we did, and I really loved this.
[00:19:29] Me too. Because I found so much meaning in it myself. And then hearing everyone on the call, like what they created was just, it was amazing. So this part has three different pieces to it. We did this thing where we kind of connected to our physical space. And so, um, I have this prompt. Where you just simply look around in your physical space and you just become a curious witness of it.
[00:19:58] So, what do you notice looking around your environment, either in your home or where you currently are? What do you notice? What stands out to you, just nerd, you know, neutral observation and you write down in a journal for a minute or two, just what you notice. Okay, that's step one, right? So one of the things I noticed and I share this is before we got on the membership call, I had like all of these papers and junk in my office and I really wanted to look put together.
[00:20:29] So I like scrambled and I was like shoving things into crevices and drawers and you know, like lighting a candle. So that brings us to the next question. Uh, and the next prompt is how is what I'm noticing a perfect reflection of my life? How is what I'm noticing in my physical space a perfect reflection of my life?
[00:20:51] And for me, I was like, Oh my gosh, right now in my life, I am shoving all of these things Behind closed spaces, trying to make it look perfect on the surface when behind everything there should show going on. It was this perfect reflection
[00:21:10] Casey O'Roarty: of
[00:21:10] Karen Collins: my life.
[00:21:11] Casey O'Roarty: I love this is, I'm just going to pause you right here because and give a little behind the scenes.
[00:21:16] So Karen and I had talked before the ritual, she's like, what if I do this? And you explained it and I was like, well, I don't really understand. So lead it like you're in charge of that part because I don't really get it. And then yes, being guided by you, even just having you re say it and looking around like my eyes were immediately drawn to.
[00:21:37] An overflowing trash can. Like, I need to take out the trash. How is that a reflection of my life? I need to take out some trash. Like, the clutter. How is
[00:21:46] Karen Collins: that a reflection of your life? Yes.
[00:21:48] Casey O'Roarty: Yes. Yes. Like, wade through the bullshit. Like, get rid of it. I don't need to hang on to it. Yes. So.
[00:21:55] Karen Collins: Okay. So that leads us to the next prompt, which is what is the wisdom here for me?
[00:22:02] Yeah. So noticing the space, then how is it the perfect reflection of my life? And then what is the wisdom here for me? What is this telling me? What's available here for me to make meaning about? And then the last prompt is what advice would you give? do I have to give myself? So you, Casey, like you're looking at your trash.
[00:22:23] The trash needs to go. Like, what is, what is the meaning that you're making and what is the advice that you would have for yourself?
[00:22:30] Casey O'Roarty: Yeah, I think for me, I have, there's a lot of chatter and storytelling that I live inside of and, and I've done enough. I've done plenty of, well, it's, I mean, I was just going to say, I've done enough work to not have this be a thing anymore.
[00:22:46] Ha ha ha ha. Right. Like no, I've just peeled the layers. I'm just on a new layer of taking out the garbage. Right. And so that's the wisdom is just remembering there's always places for me to stay curious. Right. And that, um, so I was listening to an Abraham Hicks recording this morning and, uh, she was talking about, they were talking about how, um, when things feel like when things aren't going our way or things look a certain way and we don't like it.
[00:23:24] If we can stay in the mindset of, Oh, look at what I'm noticing. Isn't that interesting? We're able to stay out of immersing ourselves inside of it and getting all hung up in it. So yeah, like even just, there's my little trash can that's full. Isn't that interesting? Where are the places in my life where that fullness is not necessarily like, you know, places where I want to be full, like self care and soul care, but actually now it's taking me to this place of like those little tasks that we have to do because we're humans, like call the doctor back or grab that one ingredient at the store, even though we don't really want to, like the don't really want to part to me, that's the garbage.
[00:24:05] Like, I don't need that. I need the ingredients. So I'm just going to go get the ingredient and quit sitting inside of like, man, I don't want an extra stop on my. rounds in town or whatever. Oh, I don't want to deal with that phone call or that person. Like, that's the garbage to me. And the gold is really like, Yeah, probably that conversation is going to go a lot differently than how I've played it out to be in my mind, or that phone call to the bank or whatever is annoying.
[00:24:32] Like, it's actually only going to take two minutes and then I won't be sitting inside of knowing that I have to do it. Does that make sense?
[00:24:40] Karen Collins: Yes. Yes.
[00:24:45] The thing that you were just talking about with, you know, that separation, that like looking at something rather than being hooked into the thing, right. In acceptance and commitment theory, otherwise known as act, they call that unhooking.
[00:25:00] Casey O'Roarty: Oh, I love that language. Yes. So you're
[00:25:03] Karen Collins: hooked into the thought and a way that you can unhook.
[00:25:06] from the thought. There's several practices, but one of them is to say, I'm noticing the thought that like, so I hate going to the store, hate going to the store, hate going to the store. You're hooked into that thought. You're energetically hooked. So I'm noticing the thought, or I'm noticing I'm having the thought.
[00:25:27] that I hate going to the store. Like immediately you are separated from
[00:25:33] Casey O'Roarty: that
[00:25:33] Karen Collins: thought.
[00:25:34] Casey O'Roarty: I love that. Yes. Unhook people. Well, it could be the store. It could be the annoyance of going to the store or it could be, which I think is relevant to the content that I put in the world, which is they're never going to be okay.
[00:25:48] Or are they ever going to be able to move out or, you know, the loops that so many I'm doing a
[00:25:53] Karen Collins: horrible job.
[00:25:54] Casey O'Roarty: I'm doing a horrible job.
[00:25:57] Karen Collins: No, you are noticing you're having the thought that you're a horrible mom or they're not going to be okay.
[00:26:04] Casey O'Roarty: Yeah.
[00:26:04] Karen Collins: And then you're like, Oh, that's just a thought.
[00:26:07] Casey O'Roarty: Yeah.
[00:26:07] Karen Collins: That's just a thought.
[00:26:09] It's not real.
[00:26:10] Casey O'Roarty: It's not real. It's just a thought. Yeah. There's actually multiple possible outcomes. Yeah. So having the thought and then what? Well,
[00:26:19] Karen Collins: let's circle back to like what thought would bring me ease and joy in this moment. Yes.
[00:26:24] Casey O'Roarty: Yes. Thank you for that. Exactly. Yeah. That's why those intentions become so powerful because in the end, then what?
[00:26:34] Then what? Which, which a lot of us are like, okay, great. Then what? Okay. What does ease and joy look like? Or for you, a listener, it might be something different. It might be, what does patience and trust sound like right now? What does
[00:26:49] Karen Collins: bold look like right now?
[00:26:52] Casey O'Roarty: Yeah. Love that. Perfect.
[00:26:54] Karen Collins: So then we did. So we did something in the retreat, but I kind of want to offer something else to do it.
[00:27:02] Okay, so for New Year's. I have this practice that I love, or a ritual you could say, that I love, and for years I did it on my own, and then I kind of started inviting my family, my spouse, and my kids to do it with me, and then we started inviting people over to our house to do it, and it's kind of just become this thing.
[00:27:29] thing that we do on New Year's is sit down and think about the last year. What are you celebrating from the last year? What are you grateful for? And what is it time to let go of? And what do I want to create in the year to come? So it's kind of this opportunity to like what we've been talking about, take stock, reflect, all of those things.
[00:27:52] Casey O'Roarty: Can I, can I, I just want to interrupt really quick because I was just listening to a Mel Robbins podcast. I literally listened to like 10 minutes and then I was on to something else. But she had one of her little rituals that she shared was, and I love like taking stock of the year. There's so much that we forget.
[00:28:10] And one of the things she was encouraging listeners to do was to go through our camera rolls. Because we take pictures of everything. Yeah. Yes. And it's all like, oh, January and February and March. And to really remember, and I'm thinking to myself, and as I say this, like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna write, I'm just gonna like write it down.
[00:28:29] All the little, like Rowan's 21st birthday. We went to Las Vegas last January. It was amazing. And got to spend time in Chicago. And if I think back of the full year, it's hard, I mean, those were kind of big things. But anyway, just wanted to offer that. Yeah. That's a
[00:28:44] Karen Collins: great reminder. Take care. Yeah. Great way to kind of timeline the last year and reflect back the last year.
[00:28:50] Yeah.
[00:28:51] Karen Collins: So I write, I begin to write down like, what am I ready to release? And what am I ready to let go of? And when I do this, and when I do it with others, like I prompt you to write things that you are actually interested in. Ready to release and let go of. So it's not a practice where you're like, I'm ready to let go of self doubt, but then you're holding onto the self doubt, right?
[00:29:15] Or I'm ready You know, ready to release these 10 pounds and then you're really actually not ready to do that. So make sure that that's something that you're aligned with and you are truly willing and ready to let go of. And you write all of that out. You just like purge it and vomit it onto a page. You write it all out.
[00:29:37] Put that aside, get another piece of paper or another 10 pieces of paper, however many you need. And you're then going to figure out what you want to call in to your life in the new year. And I have some rules about how you do this. So you are going to write everything as if it's already happened. So it's past tense as if you're celebrating that happened.
[00:29:59] And you're going to put a lot of energy and feeling words. into this manifestation or whatever you're wanting to call it. Okay. So that could look like, okay. So I'll give you an example of what I did last year. I was sitting on a beach in Hawaii for new years. It was a magical moment. And I was thinking about the things I was ready to release.
[00:30:23] One of the things I noticed was I had a lot of heat and energy around my ex husband went through a COVID divorce, was not a pretty divorce. And And when I would interact with them, or things would happen, I would get this like, my body would become hijacked with like, feelings of fear, or anger, or resentment.
[00:30:47] And regardless of what was happening, like this experience, I would just get hijacked. I would just get hijacked. And I'd have all this heat and energy. And I realized I don't want to live. With this human having that much power over my energy any longer, and I really, really wanted to change my relationship with that.
[00:31:04] And so one of the things I wrote down was releasing myself from, like, just unplugging, unhooking from that experience. Unhooking from that, that energy, right? So also something I wanted to call in for the new year was buying a home. So in my calling in, I wrote this thing about like, you know, Oh my gosh, thank you.
[00:31:30] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you universe. It is June 15th. I am sitting in my backyard. I'm sipping coffee. I'm listening to the birds. My heart is so full of joy and peace. So I just wrote this whole vision of being in this home that I haven't seen. I, I, like I was declaring without any evidence that I could actually buy a home and just putting it out into the ethers.
[00:31:57] And so here's where the practice and the ritual comes is once you have written down what you want to let go of and what you want to call in, right before the year turns, I burn what I want to let go of. So before midnight, I'll go out to my barbecue or I'll make a little like on the beach. I just kind of like dug a little hole and I burned out into the ethers what I'm ready to let go of.
[00:32:24] And then when the clock Turned to the new year. I burned what I want to call in. That's kind of the symbol of Turning that new year over right like releasing what has been and calling in what I want to create Very powerful. So like I said, we started inviting people over for New Year's and doing this ritual and it became kind of like Has been really spread into our community.
[00:32:52] And so And a couple of years we've done, the last couple of years we've done events where we'll have a bunch of people, we'll kind of take them through the whole process and then they take them home and they burn them on their own. I had a friend and client of mine that used to have like, you know, a new year's party every year.
[00:33:11] And it was very like focused on, you know, debauchery and drinking and crazy craziness. And she was like, I really want. it to be more soulful, but this isn't really the group of friends to do that with. And so one year she did it anyway, she invited everyone to do it. And it was so powerful that they have been doing it every year since.
[00:33:37] So I'm going to invite everyone. So the reason I even brought all of that up is because that's one of the things we kind of did in the membership call. We like kind of created, what are we letting them release? What are we ready to let go of? And, you know, Invite people to burn that afterwards, but because of the new year This is an opportunity to also call in what we want to create.
[00:34:06] Casey O'Roarty: Well, and since this is coming out on January 6, I don't want anyone to get stuck in. Oh no, the 31st already happened. Can I still do this? And the answer is, yeah. Yes. Yeah, you can. Of course. Yeah. I love this. And you know, Karen, listeners, Karen actually, Ben and I went to one of her events a couple years ago.
[00:34:34] As far as the assumptions that we make about other people and whether or not they'd be into something like this, my guy is not a woo woo guy. He loved it. In fact, he was just saying like, is Karen going to do that again? Like, I want to do that again. And so I think that it's, Even our, even our most wild and crazy friends, I mean, we, Karen was with, um, my, you know, was one of many friends that went to Mexico for my 50th and on the last night there we did some ritual.
[00:35:05] And again, I was like, I'm interested in seeing how this crew responds. And it was deep. There were tears. It was. It was really, um. And I think it's such a gift to offer the people that we love an opportunity to go deep because we live on the surface. We live on the surface. So I love that. I love that. Talk about, you know, so, so those are some big, beautiful things, um, for listeners take and play with.
[00:35:38] And then, you know, There's New Year's and then there's the other 365 days and the following, you know, the unfolding of, of life, right? Talk a little bit about, you know, daily, weekly, monthly practices. How do we, how do you, and even as I say that, I know, I feel like I know what you're going to say. Sustain the work of ritual in your life.
[00:36:05] Do you want me to tell you what I think you're going to say? Yeah, I'm curious. I think you're going to say, well, I don't because I'm human. And sometimes we follow up the wagon and then we get to come back on. I mean, that's what I would say, right? And I love routine and ritual and sometimes I'm really good and sometimes I'm not so good and it's always there to come back to.
[00:36:24] What were you going to
[00:36:24] Karen Collins: say? Yes, yes, that would probably be my answer. And I'm also going to say that falling off is part of the practice.
[00:36:32] Casey O'Roarty: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
[00:36:34] Karen Collins: Yes. Yes. You know, part of the practice is fucking it up. Like falling down and totally failing and having it fall off the radar for months and months and months and then re centering in ourselves and coming back to the practice.
[00:36:52] That is part of the journey. It's part of the human experience. Yes. But I think it's also part of the learning. And where the beauty comes in.
[00:37:02] Yeah.
[00:37:03] Karen Collins: I think also letting go of the perfectionism of it. Like I can get really caught up in like, Oh my gosh, like I have to, I used to do an hour of power. I used to do it every single morning, get up and do sacred practices, which could be, you know, journaling, getting in nature and moving.
[00:37:24] Um, meditating, moving my body in some way. And then eventually I would find myself like, it felt like a job. It felt like a chore. It felt like I have to enroll myself into doing it. Like, what if we just like, let go of all of that and how it has to look and we just give ourselves The gift as simplicity and just deeply listening to what it is that we
[00:37:49] need
[00:37:50] Karen Collins: and Providing that for ourselves, you know, so what would feel so good to you?
[00:37:58] What would feel so restorative? What do you know really? Nourishes you and how can you do the simplest version of that because that's gonna be the most sustainable Right. So I do quiet time every day and I have become less attached to what's in that quiet time than just holding that sacred time for myself.
[00:38:23] Right. And then trying to get out into nature as often as possible. And really Really also, this is another thing I just thought of that I realized I do, I've been once a month trying to kind of have a rejuvenation day. So a day that I, yeah, so I started putting into my calendar one day a month where I will go down to a Korean spa and I will give my day, the whole day, I will just carve it out I'll put it in my calendar.
[00:38:57] It's like 45 and you get to go be in this like spa all day long. Like 45 is such a small investment into rejuvenating myself and having that whole entire day. And it's also, what I'm finding is a great time where I actually get a lot of like, My creativity back,
[00:39:18] you know,
[00:39:19] Karen Collins: like I'm kind of mixing up that day to day grind where a lot of ideas and creativity for my business, for creating content, for how I want to be with my family.
[00:39:29] All of those things are so available because I just take that pause, but it's become like a once a month thing that I do investment myself.
[00:39:39] Casey O'Roarty: I love that. And you can, I mean, rejuvenation, that's your rejuvenation day. I think it can look and it can look so many different ways too. But what I'm hearing you say.
[00:39:48] is a day that is solely contained to be one that fills you. Mind, body, spirit. I love
[00:39:58] Karen Collins: that. What if yours is like going out dancing
[00:40:01] Casey O'Roarty: once a month?
[00:40:02] Karen Collins: Once a month is not
[00:40:03] Casey O'Roarty: enough time.
[00:40:08] Karen Collins: So yeah, so I think having some non negotiables, but having those non negotiables be simple. Yeah. That's what creates sustainability. Yeah.
[00:40:20] Casey O'Roarty: And I think that we, like the lovely way that I think humans are made up is we feel better when we are engaging in soulful, sacred practices. And when we fall off, like there are indicators.
[00:40:42] Right? There are little pokes, little energetic taps. We feel, you know, our body might feel a little stiff or our, you know, we notice our own self talk kind of getting a life of its own. Like there's plenty of indicators for us to say like, Oh, isn't that interesting? Maybe it is time for me to go back to those practices because I sure do feel a lot better when they're a part of my life.
[00:41:06] Just like, you know, it's something that I say about family meetings too. Our, when the family is falling apart. is a great indicator, like, Oh, how long has it been since we've done a family meeting or we've had like time together that hasn't centered, you know, everybody's shit being everywhere all over the house, but instead we've laughed or enjoyed each other.
[00:41:25] Like, I feel like there's so many indicators in our body and in our energetic experience that are kind of funneling us back towards what matters most, which is on, you know, unhooking. Love that. And dropping in to, you know, what is alive and real inside of all of the bullshit. So,
[00:41:49] Karen Collins: yep. I would also encourage people to view practices as experiments rather than obligations.
[00:41:59] You know, like, I'm going to play with this, I'm going to see how it lands, I'm going to see what it does for me. Find things that resonate with the natural flow of who you are, rather than adopting it because you think it's going to work for you. This is that you should, right, like don't should this, like find your own authentic rhythm and practices that actually fuel you rather than dream you.
[00:42:28] Casey O'Roarty: And where does self compassion fit in with all this?
[00:42:30] Karen Collins: Everywhere.
[00:42:36] Self compassion. Needs to be everywhere. We are so hard on ourselves. We are so hard on ourselves. Like, let's just be more gentle.
[00:42:49] Let's
[00:42:49] Karen Collins: just be more gentle.
[00:42:55] Empowerment and leadership and interpersonal dynamics and one of the assignments that we had, which was actually stolen from, I think it was, um, Cal Berkeley was a self compassion letter writing every day for a week and you would write a letter that like basically as a friend is talking to you like, Oh, my gosh, Karen, I'm so sorry.
[00:43:20] That you're experiencing this thing, and it is absolutely understandable that this is how you're feeling given what's going on. And here's my piece of wisdom to offer you. And what they noticed in this study of self compassion is that just doing this experiment for a week, writing this letter to yourself once a day for a week, had implications for more ease and Self esteem and self advocacy six months later, they only did the practice for one week and yet it was so powerful that six months later people were still experiencing the effects.
[00:44:00] So self compassion, like, yes, everyone say yes
[00:44:04] Casey O'Roarty: to
[00:44:04] Karen Collins: self compassion in 2025.
[00:44:07] Casey O'Roarty: Yes, I love that. I love that. 2025, the year of self compassion and I've declared it to be the year of French kissing. We're bringing French kissing back over here at my house. Probably TMI, but I'm just putting that. Oh, I told him. I told him.
[00:44:26] I let him know. I'm dying to know what year it
[00:44:30] Karen Collins: is for Ben.
[00:44:32] Casey O'Roarty: Oh, it's this year. He doesn't have a choice. Um, oh man, Karen, thank you so much. This, I love, I mean, you guys, whenever Karen, Karen and I have had so many beautiful conversations and this is just, you know, up there with many of them. I so appreciate you and everything you bring to the world.
[00:44:52] Is there anything else you want to share with listeners before we close?
[00:44:57] Karen Collins: Um, yes. So. This year is Year of Self Compassion. Carve out a little bit of time to connect with yourself. Like, give yourself that little tiny gift. Celebrate your wins. Please. Like, we are so good at looking at the day and what we didn't get done or what, you know, fell with the cracks or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like, begin the practice of celebrating at the end of the day.
[00:45:24] Like, what did you do well? It's huge. And lastly, like, invite others along into your practices and your rituals. It's like invite people in to play with that spicy magic with you and create community and connection.
[00:45:45] Casey O'Roarty: Spicy magic. Love it. Love it. Yes. What does joyful courage mean to you? Oh, I
[00:45:53] Karen Collins: actually, I love those words.
[00:45:57] together because courage often feels heavy. Like it's like this heavy energy to me or this thing that we have to do where we either like armor up or rise to. So having joyful courage together kind of flips the script. on what courage can be, that it can be a celebration, it can be a leading into something that's joyful, easeful, light.
[00:46:25] I love it. I love it. That's what triple courage is. Leading into something.
[00:46:31] Casey O'Roarty: Yes, I'm into that. Where can people find you if they want to reach out to you? That is a great question, Casey. I know. As soon as I read it, I was like, hmm, do you want to give me your email? It's probably not going to be
[00:46:45] Karen Collins: very helpful, but I'm very organic in my work and how people work with me.
[00:46:50] Most of my people come through referrals. Um, I'm not big on social media. So, um, yeah. The best way to connect with me and I invite anyone and everyone to do so is to email me personally, actually, um, so I can be reached at Karen at ConsciousGrowthPartners. com. And that's K A R E N at ConsciousGrowthPartners.
[00:47:13] com. Um, And yeah, some of the work that I do with people is helping them find and create their own rituals. I also do a lot of manifestation coaching. So if there's some something that you want to manifest in your life, you can definitely get in contact.
[00:47:29] Casey O'Roarty: Awesome. I'll make sure that's in the show notes and listeners.
[00:47:31] Karen is the real deal. So if you are, I've spent this last hour falling in love with her. I encourage you to reach out to her and find out if maybe she's a fit for whatever it is that you need. I love you. Thank you so much for spending time great. You're welcome. Thank you.
[00:47:49] [Music] so much for listening in today. Thank you so much to my Sproutable partners, Julietta and Alanna, as well as Danielle. And Chris Mann and the team at Podshaper for all the support with getting this show out there and helping it to sound so good. Check out our offers for parents with kids of all ages and sign up for our newsletter to stay better connected at besproutable.com. Tune back in on Monday for a brand new interview and I will be back solo with you next Thursday. Have a great day. [Music]