Eps 92: Jenna Phillips Ballard Talks Fear, and Worth and Shifting to Possibility

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful courage means finding the joy and the bliss in any specific circumstance, situation, no matter how scared out of your mind that you are – it’s being courageous, staying in the heart anyways, going for it anyway, because joy is a choice. You get to choose joy.

 

Resources

The Power of Now

Where to find Jenna:

Website l Ascension Leadership Academy l (Ascension Facebook, Ascension instagram)

Jenna’s FB Live every Thursday night at 7 PST

Facebook l Instagram l Twitter l Unicorn University

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Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:00
Joyful courage, parenting podcast episode 92

Hey everybody. Welcome back to the joyful courage parenting podcast, a place for information and inspiration on the parenting journey. I am your host. Casey o'rourdy, positive discipline trainer and parent coach. I am completely ecstatic that you are listening in, and if you're a new listener, welcome, welcome, welcome. I'm so glad to have you here. If you find yourself laughing, taking notes, super excited about what you hear on the show today, please do me a favor and pay it forward. Share this episode with your friends and your family and your neighbors, people you see at the grocery store, at the post office, your sharing is the reason I'm able to show up for you each week, and I am so grateful I get to do so be sure to listen all the way to the end of this Episode, because I have a very special giveaway that I'm doing this month that you can get in on that has to do with sharing. Alright, so listen in today. I am so excited about my guest. Her name is Jenna Phillips Ballard. She began her career in 2006 as a certified personal trainer and life coach for celebrities, and has been featured on Dr Phil and the doctors. Halfway through her career, she realized that she had a bigger calling. She is on a mission to motivate and inspire as many people as possible to become leaders, to make the world a better place. Jenna wants everyone to truly fall in love with themselves, because self love will heal this planet. She discovered the power of self love when she made a full recovery from brain damage after waking up from a coma in the year 2000 her commitment to making a full recovery depended solely on how she thought of herself, and she realized that her purpose is to empower others to break through their limiting beliefs and create an unforgettable life in 2016 and she'll tell us about this. She co founded ascension Leadership Academy with her husband, and together, they have coached hundreds of people into their greatness. She's also the founder of unicorn University, an online membership community where women never spend another day of being beige, broken or behaved. Jenna is my friend. She is an inspiration to me, and I am so excited to share her special sparkle with all of you. So let's meet Jenna.

Hi there. Jenna, welcome to the podcast.

Jenna Phillips Ballard 3:12
Thank you, Casey, thank you so much for having me

Casey O'Roarty 3:15
My pleasure. Please share with the listeners about your journey of doing what you do

Jenna Phillips Ballard 3:22
education. So what I do is education, and what I, you know, what I teach mostly in the realm of like I have, I have two worlds, and I'll talk about each of them independently, and then I'll talk about how they cross over. So one world that I, that I reside in, is in the in the realm of emotional intelligence. And I do believe that this, this specific type of environment, is so crucial for for every single human being that, you know, we really get to understand what it means to be emotionally intelligent, for us to reframe the stories that we tell about the things that we experienced in our life. So, you know, like I'm I believe that the reason why this is so important is because of how it teaches adults who were at one point, children, kids, and ultimately our future, which is now like our present, how to how to reframe the past experiences of their life so they can be emotionally intelligent and not feel like they were a victim of anything in their life, no matter what happened, and then also support them in how to and how to engage with our children today. Because I really believe that being a parent, being being a mom or a dad or a parental figure is is the most important job in the entire world, because of our planet, our world depends upon how our children today are going to, of course, take on that responsibility when they become adults. So you know, it's just, it's incredibly important that people get to have the opportunity to look at their life through a different lens. And you know, it's often said, Well, you can't change the past. Well, you can. Can absolutely change the story that you tell about. Your past, and that's how you can rewrite history. Yeah, tell

Casey O'Roarty 5:03
me about how you got into this work. I

Jenna Phillips Ballard 5:06
got into this work about six years ago, when I was living in Los Angeles. I was a celebrity trainer and life coach for many years. I love that you were a celebrity trainer. It sounds, it sounds so weird to say that sounds like, I mean, that's, you know, that that was, that's what I did. But, but yeah, so I got to interact with some pretty high profile people in in Los Angeles, and traveled and worked all over the place, and really got to have some really powerful experiences. And I discovered that my I was feeling limited in in my realm of work, because I was only working with one person at a time, or if I was training a band or working with a band, and it was like four or five people at a time, and I really felt called to to make a bigger impact. And even though I saw the power of my work with them and how that was going to impact their following or their fans or whatever, I really wanted to work with bigger groups of people. And so I called in an experience, some transformational workshops personal development, and really had some powerful breakthroughs in there, and just discovered that that was actually the work I really wanted to be doing, standing for people's egos, to have ego deaths and have people realize that we can always be reborn and start over and wipe the slate clean and reframe our life. And so I dove all the way in. I went all the way, you know, through all the curriculum, graduated, really dove in, became, started my mentorship and and really took this on and just continue to be in the realm of transformation and personal development. And then, because of my commitment to that work, and I also manifested the most incredible man ever, who I'm now married to. And so it's been our passion and in our life's work. And so last year, we wound up moving to San Diego, and we opened up our own personal development, transformational work, emotional intelligence, Leadership Academy, called ascension Leadership Academy. So now we offer a series of stories, of workshops and curriculum that lasts about four months from beginning to end. So it's we're now doing the stuff that we were students of, you know, six years ago, and now we're thriving. And it's just it's evolving and exploding in San Diego. So it's just we're very blessed to to be able to do the work that we're doing now. I

Casey O'Roarty 7:21
love that. I have tingles all over in goosebumps. I love your story. I love your story. And I want to go back to something that you said, because I think it is really it really shows up in the work that I do with parents. Is the idea of changing. We can't change the past. We can't change the childhood experience that we had. However we can reframe the story. Can you talk a little bit more about that? Like, what are how do we do that? Because I think that what I noticed is people really, we really, kind of hang on

Jenna Phillips Ballard 7:51
to it absolutely I am. Well, I'll speak about a personal experience that I, that I had, and if I may, get incredibly vulnerable and candid with you and your following and your listeners. I experienced, I've experienced sexual abuse a few times in my life, and the first time I experienced I was seven years old, and that really kind of shaped my my conversation about, Am I worthy? Am I you know, I had all these different conversations about my worthiness and my my strength and my confidence, and so that really showed up in a lot of different ways throughout my life. And and I got by going through these workshops and through these experiences, I got to look at where those conversations started because I didn't connect it to I didn't realize that the reason that I had, the interpretation that I had at that time ultimately shaped and shifted and crafted a lot of the conversations I had about myself leading up to that point. And so I got to kind of rewire the framework that that I really was operating from on a regular basis, and really got to understand it from an emotional intelligence aspect, rather than this happened to me, and I feel fill in the blank. So, so there was that, and then also my most recent experience of sexual abuse was about five years ago, and and I and I really that during that time, I was I really felt very victimy, and it kind of turned my world inside out and upside down. And it took me about a year even, and I was kind of, I just completed my journey as a student of these trainings right when this had happened and and I got to apply the stuff that I was learning, even though it was, it was tough because I was in it. I was I was in an environment that supported me and being able to navigate through it. And I really discovered compassion at a whole other level, realizing that for anyone to even have the thought to do what this man did to me, Something horrible must happen to him in his life. And so really understanding the compassion piece, because when we don't have compassion, when we're angry at the abusers, or we're angry at the people who do whatever they do, it. Us continue the cycle, and it has us perpetuate the suffering and further the, you know, further the challenges that we have as human beings. And so, so I really got to reframe that, and I found, you know, gratitude throughout the whole experience, believe it or not, it really humbled me, and it had me understand again, like compassion at a level I didn't even know was possible. And it really supported me in being a more effective leader and really trying, really, really looking at how we can practice compassion as as a mindset, as a lifestyle, as a way of being. And so that that really supported me. And, you know, I also was in a head trauma accident when I was 17. I was in a coma, woke up from the come with brain damage and and it was really kind of from that whole experience when I really started to understand what it means to persevere and what it means to set your mind to something and be committed to something and be on a mission. And so I've really kind of been on this path of, you know, being on a mission and using my voice for good, for, you know, ever since then. I mean, that was almost, that was almost 17 years ago that that happened. So really supported me in being clear that we're all meant for greatness. We're all meant to utilize our experiences in our lifetime, and we can either just have them be nothing, or we can have them be everything to us and and be the, you know, the experts of said experience, because anything that hasn't killed us, like we're all here breathing, you guys are listening to the podcast, so you're still alive, and whatever you've experienced in your lifetime, it didn't defeat you, it didn't obliterate you. You know, it's not bigger than you. It wasn't bigger than you. So we're all incredibly strong as as individuals, and I do believe that we can get through anything, provided that we have a specific kind of mindset and and we educate and support ourselves and getting on their side, yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 11:45
oh man, thank you. Thank you for sharing that. And it makes me think about the metaphor of like driving a car, right? And we have a choice around are we going to drive our own car of life, or are we going to let the things that quote happen to us be the drivers.

Jenna Phillips Ballard 12:05
Right? Powerful. Yes, it is. And

Casey O'Roarty 12:07
I've heard you say lots of times, listeners, just so you know, Jenna is on Facebook Live every Thursday night at 7pm PST, and all you got to do is turn it on and you're mesmerized for the solid however long she's on there, because Jenna, it's so fun and inspiring to watch you and listen to you and the way that you interact with the people that show up like it's just, it's really powerful. So thank you for that offer. Every week. Um, I'll make sure that there's links listeners in the show notes so you can find her. But one of the things that you say a lot is life happens for you. And I think that's a huge that's a huge mindset shift. And recently I I watched you talking about some travel mishaps that happened, right? You lost a bag in your travel or, like, and you said, Well, this is, if this is life happening for me, you know, how can I use that mindset to get me through that? But, and that's why I asked you to come on the podcast, is because I'm always so inspired with the mindset that you share with the world, and that it's a mindset that I know it isn't an act. It's not lip service that it truly is how you're come from, and it's just so inspiring to me. And I feel like what you talk about often is possibility. I hear you talking about possibility, and I hear you talking about worthiness, and that mindset is so supportive of the work that those of us who are choosing into connected, positive relationship based parenting. It's so supportive of of us, right? Because I think that, you know, I've done a lot of podcasts, the listeners have listened to me talk about all sorts of stories. But, you know, we can get really down on ourselves. I think that those of us that are working towards these, you know, positive, connected, helpful parenting. You know, we set the bar so incredibly high that when we fall short, we move, we dive right into, I am terrible at this. I'm a bad person. I'm a bad mom, whatever the conversation is, and rather than looking at, okay, what's the opportunity here, right? What's the what's the lesson, what's the learning? And I, and I think that many parents, and I've said this a lot of times on the show with clients, can let fear be the driving force with their kids? Can you talk a little bit about fear and how it keeps people from living in that anything is possible mindset.

Jenna Phillips Ballard 14:51
Sure you know fear. Fear is literally the only thing that can that can truly stop us from from living a fulfilled meaning. Meaningful life. And you know, when we choose to not move forward, it's because we're afraid of a specific outcome, or we assume that it's going to be a certain way. And you know, we don't take risks, and we don't give ourselves the opportunity to to be bold or to be brave in certain in certain things. And so a lot of the times, people feel like, you know, okay, if I'm going to be if I'm going to be courageous, if I'm going to be fearless, if I'm going to be brave, that means I can't be experiencing any kind of fear whatsoever. So if I'm experiencing fear, or if I'm experiencing butterflies or whatever, then that means I'm not, I'm not cut out for that courageous journey. But I really believe that courage is something that people have. You know, it's taking those risks and making those bold moves, even in the face of fear, even in the the question of the, you know, am I enough? Am I ready? Like, you know, it's I very frequently am standing in the the space of, like, okay, here we go. I just go for it, and I figure it out on the way, because, you know, if we're, if we're always wanting to wait until it's the right time, or until it's logical or, you know, I am going to edit this, but I always say, f your logic, or screw, screw your logical reasoning, or screw the, you know, and I use interruptive language when I am, when I'm supporting The students and our trainings, because it's, it has them kind of perk up and go, okay, yeah, where do I do this in my life? And, and I get to be the interruption for this. So we, we often choose the path that is the most comfortable, that makes the most sense, that seems to, you know, to be the best way, and, and the times that I have created the most success in my life have been in the moments where I just took a blind leap of faith and I just figured it out, and I just went for it. So, you know, I've really gotten to, I've had a lot of opportunities to really dance with that. My first private client when I was 23 years old, and I was, I'd been a personal trainer, applies instructor and a personal trainer for a month, and my first, my first private client, was Ben Stiller. So I was, I was 23 years old, and all of the conversations of like, you're not, you don't know what you're doing, and you haven't been doing this long enough. And there were other trainers in the studio who'd been, you know, they had, like, their master's degree in physiology and, you know, exercise science. And, like, there were all these, you know, reasons why they ought to be the better trainer for Ben. However, it was, it was the the energetic connection that he and I had. He became great friends. And the my boss who assigned me to this, to this position to be his trainer for a movie at night at the museum, I went on location. Like I left the studio, went on vacation for four months, and I got him in the best freaking shape of his life. So my fear came up as like, Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? And I'm like, Yep, I just, I am okay. Here we go. This is either gonna make or break my career. So I went for it and totally just just trusted myself and figured out, you know, my method, I was never inspired by trainers who knew all the fancy words for all the muscles, like, that's nobody uses those terms, it's so I totally just got connected to the body and the energy and the you know, and I really got to do some really powerful metaphysical work with him, and did Reiki. And so there was a lot of really great opportunities for me to apply my knowingness of a human being, because we all we all have the answers, we all have the wisdom. We all have it within us. It's just up to us either access it or not. Yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 18:27
ooh, I love that, Jenna, and I love what you said, that we get trapped in that assumption that we already know it's going to work out a certain way. So why bother? Right? I mean, I think that, you know, on this show, we talk about parenting, and I often find myself saying, but really, we're talking about humaning, right? Because the way we interact with our kids should be the same way that we interact with the rest of the humans on the planet, sure, you know, including our partners. And there's lots of conversation in my community around, you know, partners as well, and challenges there. And you know, what I'm currently experiencing in that conversation with my partner is really trying to let go of the box that not only have I put him in, but the box that I've put myself in in our relationship. And again, it comes back to this, this, this, I am enough piece. I'm enough to be vulnerable with him. I'm enough to open the lid off this block. I like, blow the lid off this box, and just trust and believe that you know, and not be attached to what it's going to look like, but to have the important conversations that I know are already happening energetically between us, but maybe not being spoken into so and we talk a lot, too with on the show about how quick we are to make assumptions, assumptions about how our kids are feeling, assumptions how other drivers on the road are feeling. You know, we assume the heck out of things. Yeah. And it doesn't serve us, because we're more likely than not off the mark and and you spoke about worthiness. So can we talk a little bit about that? Because I've heard you bring it up a lot in your train of thought, Facebook Lives and in your work. But how do you how do you help your clients really find you know and like the visual that's coming to me right now is, I was just talking about this this morning, like this peeling away of all the shit right that we've piled up on our true selves, or our godly selves, or our inner truth, or whatever you want to call it, like, there's all of these layers that, over time, we've put on there. How do we peel back those layers to get back to that core place of really knowing that we matter and knowing that we're enough? How do you support clients in that

Jenna Phillips Ballard 20:55
well, a lot of that, like what you were saying, how we we as humans, we create these assumptions, or we make up our mind about about something, and it's going to be a certain way, or it must look a certain way, and and we as human beings, like our ego, mind, must have a visual our ego. Because when we if we're talking to somebody on the phone, we imagine the space that they're in. We we we picture them in our in our mind's eye. I totally see you right now.

Casey O'Roarty 21:20
Yeah, nails and your cute hairs, your great eyelashes.

Jenna Phillips Ballard 21:25
Thank you. I received that, but we can't. It's almost like we can't help but do that, because it's the way that we understand reality. It's the way that we you know, it's the best way that we can feel the most safe, and so we always go to what makes the most sense, we have to have some kind of tangible, something in our mind, like we have to almost have it be tangible, so that we can feel safe or, you know, in a in a good space. And so we often do that. And the way that I support my clients getting back to their level of worthiness is I have them separate from from, like the the assumptions or the certainty or what they've made up their mind about, and and how that can look. I mean, it looks a lot of different ways. So in a training room, sometimes it would look like me screaming at someone like an inch from their face, as close to them, and, you know, not at them, but at their ego, at their walls. Like, really break that stuff down. Because when we experience life and we have our, you know, our experiences in our in our childhood, we start to build these walls around our heart. You know, someone forgets, pick us up from school, somebody lies to us. We get cheated on, we watch dad hitting mom, or, you know, whatever it is that we experience and we start to protect ourselves. It's the way that that we can we can best preserve our childhood. But really, what that does is it robs us of our innocence. It robs us of our worthiness, and it takes away from the essence of our of our magic and who we really are meant to be. So as we become adults, as we turn into, you know, these, these grown ups, we lose the essence of our inner child, and what comes with that is, is the loss of our worthiness, or the loss of our believing in anything being possible. So, you know, the the powerful opportunity that I typically get to dance with when I'm working with people is I have them look at the source and have them peel away, you know, the layers. And even though, even though it's not an actual thing, it still is so made up in our mind, like we we feel as if we actually have constructed these walls. But it's all made up in our mind the same way that we make up assumptions, or make up, you know, circumstances and in our in our head. So it's a lot of the reworking, the rewiring of these, these constructions that we've created in our life. And so the the other world that I get to play with is the work that I do with women specifically. And I'm about to launch my first ever online program called unleash your inner unicorn. And so I really got to, I'm so excited. So, right? So, and I also created an online membership community called unicorn university that women get to be a part of once they complete the six week course and and like this, in this space, it's all about reframing the conversation around the worthiness. So for those of you moms out there who feel like you don't have enough time to wash your face before you go to bed or take a bubble bath or go get a pedicure or a manicure, or whatever kind of self care you you put off to the side because you've got so many things to focus on, to so many other people to focus on, like, I eat your children, which I know that's a complete mag. You know, magnificent responsibility and life changes once, once you are blessed to have children. And I'm not a mother, but I can only imagine what that will be like for me when I take on that, that, you know, that mission, but I take a strong stand for for mothers and all people, but specifically women, to really, truly understand that being selfish is not a bad thing, that we really do get to take care of ourselves first, because. Not only are we teaching our children and our daughters, because the way that we show up in our lifetime is a direct result of how our mothers showed up. I mean, we model after our mothers, whether we want to be like them or not like we do find ourselves being like, Oh my God, my mother does that. Or that was so that was totally something that my mom would do, or I totally just sounded like my mom or like and as much as we don't want to be like our moms, we end up being like our moms, unless we are emotionally intelligent enough to realize that we get to break the cycle or the pattern or the lineage, the stuff that's been passed down for the last hundreds and hundreds and hundreds or 1000s of years, that if we don't break that cycle, we're going to pass it on to our daughters. And so you know, how we show up and how we take care of ourselves is, is so important, especially if we have, you know, daughters like little, little, you know, feminine beings who are coming into this world. We get to show them that being selfish is a beautiful thing. We get to put ourselves first, put our max, our oxygen mask on ourselves first. There's a reason why they have you do that on airplanes, you know, yeah, put the oxygen mask on you first, then support others. And so if we don't, if we don't create time and space for just us being selfish, like having having that time for leveling up our self care game, taking a nap, going to the gym, going to yoga, like whatever it is that we get to do to create that time and space for ourselves is is incredibly important, because we are we're basically setting the example for our children and our children our future. So if, if we tell our kids it's, it's not okay to put ourselves first, then they're gonna, they're gonna take that on. I mean, we don't want, we don't want our children to feel like they can't put themselves first. So it really is looking at like, where we get to be responsible by by being that example and setting the tone for the future. I love that. I love that. And my listeners, if you've, you know, unless you're a new listener, which, yay. Love you. Thank

Casey O'Roarty 26:41
you for being here a new listener. And for the rest of you, if you've heard me talking these last few weeks, people know that I'm currently in my own work in a leadership program. And so what's and I'm actually looking at the post it notes in front of me, which say time is abundant, because I can hear as you talk, which I absolutely agree with, everything that you're saying around self care and soul care, right? And and I can hear the conversation in the minds of the listeners going like, Well, yeah, if I had the time, if I had the time. So listeners, I just want all of you to know that I too, have that conversation around time, and what I'm being supported in right now is shifting the way that I look at the day and deciding that I don't have enough time is not a conversation that I want to have anymore, and I really want to shift into time is abundant and that I have An abundance of time in my day, which includes time to take care of myself, which, by the way, does not need, it doesn't need to be two a two hour bath, like, right? Like it. There's ways of taking care of myself that can integrate into the ways that I'm taking care of my family and the ways that I'm taking care of my business. So Jenna, what tips and I, you know, I'm totally speaking for myself right now, taking advantage of having you on the phone.

Jenna Phillips Ballard 28:07
I love it.

Casey O'Roarty 28:08
So what kinds of tips would you have for parents who really are in this, this conversation around there's not enough time?

Jenna Phillips Ballard 28:16
Well, there's a an old proverb, and I'm totally gonna butcher it, but something to the effect of, I do it on meditate, meditate, meditate 20 minutes a day. And if you don't have time, meditate for an hour a day. So, you know, it's like we get to reframe the relationship that we have with time, because time does not exist. Time is cyclical. It's not linear. And you know, like the if you haven't read the book, The Power of Now read it. It was something that I was, when I was 21 and it really shifted my whole perspective around time and and knowing that we are, we are the creators of of our time distribution. I mean, Beyonce has the same 24 hours in the day that all of we, all of us, so, right? You know, it's not like, it's like Beyonce has like, 72 hour days. I mean, she just look at what she has caused in her life. I mean, she has chosen to direct her energy in a specific way that has caused the results and the legacy and the the the creations that she has, that she has delivered to us as a human being. So, you know, it really just comes down to a choice. So you if the constant conversation that that you are having is I just don't have the time I would if I had the time. I wish I could. I wish I if you are having that conversation, you're a victim to your day. You're a victim to your circumstance. You're a victim to your reality and and that, that mindset, that perspective, is not going to support you in creating an abundant life. So so it's it's been that interruption for your own thought pattern, your own conversation, and if you find yourself saying something that does not forward you, or doesn't feel good or doesn't have you feel abundant, then just reframe the conversation. And if it's going to take you journaling or creating, you know, post it notes and putting them all over the place, or whatever it is that you get to do. So shifting your conversation and shifting your languaging in a way that's going to support you and and be reflective of the reality that you want, like you get to focus your energy on what it is that you want, not what is. If you focus your energy on what is, it's only going to expand what is. So since we are meaning making machines, and I know that you've heard that, that saying many, many times Casey, we get to give everything a meaning that is going to reflect the experience, the reality, the results that we want. So if I'm giving my energy to something, and I being being in the realm that I'm in, I have the tools to be able to reframe pretty quickly. It's a lifelong practice. So

Casey O'Roarty 30:44
you are pretty darn skilled. I've seen you in action, and I'm like, sometimes it's kind of a, it's kind of a invitation to be like, Okay, I'm gonna mess with her, see how she can read. What about this? Try this one. Try this prompt, Jenna.

Jenna Phillips Ballard 31:00
And then, and then I split, and then you go, okay, darn

Casey O'Roarty 31:03
it. Look

Jenna Phillips Ballard 31:06
really no, it's a choice. It's a choice. So, so we can, we can continue to be a victim to our circumstances, or we can tell a story that feels, feels better, that fors us and is reflective of the result that we want to have. So when I have, when I'm working with students, and, you know, they call me for coaching, and they're like, Okay, well, I got this. And that's so in our in our three months of life coaching, after the two levels of the trainings that we that we offer to our students, there are three training weekends. The last training weekend is an amazing retreat where we go stay somewhere in an undisclosed location. It's powerful and amazing and magical and everything. And so the students who are total controllers are fearful, because they're like, well, I need to have a, you know, a fridge. I've got to refrigerate my medication. I've got it, like, these long list, like, I have to make sure that I have this and I've got that. And I'm like, trust the process, you know, I got you and they have no idea what's coming, but it's going to be the most incredible, magical weekend of their entire lives. And I also make sure that everyone is set up to be able to physically be there and to be present and to celebrate and be in recognition and all of that so. So I always stand for them to look at what they are causing by being in the fear of the assumption of the, you know, the whatever relationship they have with things not working out for them. It's like, okay, well, if you're gonna make up a story, why don't you say, You know what, the universe totally has my back, and I'm going to be set up with the exact accommodations that I need for my health and well being, to be at an all time high. And, you know, like, that's the conversation that I love to entertain, rather than like, Oh, it's just going to go badly and I'm going to be uncomfortable, and I'm going to, you know, it's like the fear, right? So we can totally be in that space, or we can talk about the abundance or the magic that's going to be revealed to us by trusting the process and being in the flow and not being attached and giving ourselves the gift of being open to receiving whatever comes. All right,

Casey O'Roarty 33:01
I have an idea I want to play. I want to play with your gift of reframe. Love it. Okay, so we'll do like a lightning round, and I'm gonna throw some typical mom complaints at you,

Jenna Phillips Ballard 33:15
oh goody, oh goody. Do that totally okay.

Casey O'Roarty 33:19
So now, okay, so let me think so my teenage daughter is always rolling her eyes at me. She totally disrespects me.

Jenna Phillips Ballard 33:35
So a different conversation that you could have around that is my incredible daughter is shifting. Her hormones are crazy. She's in that time of space and reality where you know she thinks that she knows everything, and I literally know nothing, and I can relate, because I used to be there too. So having some compassion and shifting and like owning it and holding space for her to shift and making specific requests from your daughter. What is it that? What is it about me that has you feel like you can disrespect me by having those kinds of facial expressions?

Casey O'Roarty 34:07
I can't wait to say that to her. All

Jenna Phillips Ballard 34:09
right, let

Casey O'Roarty 34:11
me think of another one. How about there i I'm so busy with my kids, I don't have any time to take a shower.

Jenna Phillips Ballard 34:24
Okay? Well, there's something called military showers that are literally 30 seconds or one minute. And if you do not have the capacity to stretch your plate, to jump in the shower for one minute, or even five minutes, then you are causing the expansion of the overwhelm. So So rather than focusing on like I don't have the time, shift the conversation into I am so blessed to have an abundance of time and so much energy that I can be in the shower for two to five minutes without being interrupted by any of my children or any of their breakdowns or drama. Or mom, or whatever it is that they have going on, but changing the story around the not having the ability to shower just immediately going into I am so blessed to have the extra amount of time, abundant space and energy to take a shower in peace without any interruption. And I also get to

Casey O'Roarty 35:18
light candles. Love that. Bonus candles. What about nobody will eat the dinner that I cook? Gosh, I'm prepping you. I'm just getting it prepared. Jen, it's really a gift to you here,

Jenna Phillips Ballard 35:33
and I love it. I love it. Then it's time to do some searching on YouTube for some different meal ideas.

Casey O'Roarty 35:42
I love that. Oh my gosh. See, this is, this is the beauty of Jenna. Everyone is even like right now, I'm really searching, and I can't come up with anything that I think is going to stump her, because you just, you do, you have a gift. And I want to recognize too. What you said is, it was, it has been, and is continuing to be developed over time with practice. And

Jenna Phillips Ballard 36:03
I also want to say so. So a thing that I know definitely comes up for for moms often, is I don't have child care, or the money to afford child care, or the or the or, or, or, or in the blank, goes on forever and ever and ever. It's like great. So reframing the conversation around your worthiness. I am worthy of receiving support from people who love and care about me such that I get to have an afternoon just to myself. So it's it's having women mothers reframe their relationship with what's available to them, shifting your mindset around abundance, so asking for support, which is hands down, the number one most challenging thing for all women and mothers to do, asking for support in such a way that you get to open up and stretch your plate. So by stretching your plate, it's not like taking things off the plate or removing things from the plate, it's expanding the plate. And by asking for support, your plate will expand. So if there's there is, there's always going to be somebody who is wanting to give to you, and if we don't ask for support, if we don't give people the opportunity to give to us, then we're robbing them the opportunity to give to us. Because people love to give, which and and moms love to give. That's why you give, give, give, give, give, give, until you can't give any more than you give some more, and then become resentful, and you're like, I'm a martyr, and I do you know what I've done for you, or do you know how hard I work for you, or do you know what I've given up to support you, to beat that night? It's like the whole conversation, and it's like, oh boy. Okay, so nothing is abundant about that struggle is real,

Casey O'Roarty 37:33
right? There's and you know what? I recently just saw somebody writing about how take the help, because the way karma works, you'll have the opportunity to be the helper really soon. And the other thing that I'm hearing you talk into as well is the fact that, well, no, this is what I want to say. So I want to speak right to the listener. Right now, you who are listening to this show and are thinking to yourself, even in as you listen to Jenna like talking about how to shift all these conversations, even you who are making all sorts of reasons why, well, that won't work for me, or I can't do that, or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I would like to just invite you into curiosity around your resistance, right? Because I think that sometimes we hear things and we immediately like, it's so ingrained in us to immediately dismiss, like, I can't or that doesn't work for me. And I'm here to say, like, how can it work for you that even that small little tweak, like, how can I put this into practice? Where is a place that I can do some reframing? So you listener who I love dearly and support with all of my heart and being take a look at the conversations you're having, even as you're listening to this conversation that I'm having with Jenna, because it's really powerful to kind of take and they've heard me say this, Jenna, but taking the balcony seat, or, as our friend Mary Jo says, going to 10,000 feet and looking down and really seeing a bigger picture and being an observer of ourselves so as to get out of our own way. Right? Get out of your own way. Listeners, please, and from a place of all love, right? All love, no blame here, no pointing fingers, just simply like the desire for all of us to be living the most incredible life ever.

Jenna Phillips Ballard 39:25
Yeah, and Casey, I also want to say how you were just addressing the listeners and saying, for those of you who are saying, Oh well, you don't understand, oh well, my life or, well, my circumstances are my reality, or there's no way for you to understand what I'm going through. You know, if you say so, like, if you are so certain that your life is so difficult, such that you're not able to create, manifest, attract, whatever that is, you You're You're right if you say so. Like, if that's going to be your conviction, and you're going to focus your energy on that, and you're so committed to being right about not. Being able to fill in the blank Well, yeah, you're right if you say so, wherever you focus your energy and whatever story you tell yourself, you are absolutely right about that,

Casey O'Roarty 40:10
yeah. So let's change the story. Yeah, yeah. Let's do it. I love it, all right. Well, I have one more question for you, sure, what does joyful courage mean to you? Jenna Phillips Ballard, joyful courage,

Jenna Phillips Ballard 40:26
what that means to me is finding the joy and the bliss in any specific circumstance, situation, no matter how scared out of your mind you are, it's being courageous, standing in the fire anyway, going for it anyway, because joy is a choice like you get to choose joy.

Casey O'Roarty 40:45
I love that short and sweet and so very Jenna for that, where can our listeners find you and follow you? Well, you

Jenna Phillips Ballard 40:54
can all find me very easily by searching for me on any social media platform, specifically Facebook and also Instagram. My name is Jenna Phillips Ballard, double N, Double L, Double L, and I'm pretty easy to find. I'm the only Jenna Phillips Ballard in the entire world, so you'll find me there. And then Twitter, which I hardly ever use, I might give you my I might give you my better handle. I'm, like, there's no point. I'm Jenna Phil's B on Twitter, but, like, I don't even do anything on Twitter. Anything on Twitter, so don't look for me there. But also, my website is Jenna Phillips ballard.com and pretty soon you're gonna see unicorn university.com up and running. Awesome,

Casey O'Roarty 41:32
awesome. Well, listeners, you know there'll be links to all of those places for finding Jenna in the show notes. Again, she's on Facebook Live every Thursday night at 7pm pacific and Jenna, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your unicorn sparkle with my people.

Jenna Phillips Ballard 41:51
My honor and pleasure. Thanks for having me.

Casey O'Roarty 42:01
Oh, it was such a treat talking to Jenna. Oh my gosh, she isn't she awesome. She's so awesome. So I mentioned early, early in the show, I mentioned in my intro that I have a little may giveaway happening, a call to action, my friends, right? I have a beautiful community. You are a beautiful community of parents, and I appreciate you so much. You support each other, you celebrate each other, you offer deep, deep wisdom to each other in our online community, I have one more request. I have one more request this podcast. Do you know that it's like my favorite thing to do? I love this podcast, and I've kind of stalled out our show. Download numbers have stalled out a bit, and it's time to push through to the next level. So my goal for May is 25,000 downloads. Oh yeah, that's about 8000 more than I've been getting since January, when you all really showed up and pushed through and got me to that level. Now I'm ready to do it again, and I can't do it without you. Remember, remember impacting 1 million kids. I haven't talked about that much lately. I am still on that mission, right? We still can have that kind of impact, impact 1 million kids or more together, we can bring the joyful courage podcast to loads more parents. I know it has so much value because you tell me you all reach out via email, via Facebook, Instagram, you let me know that you are receiving takeaways and appreciation for the show. So to incentivize you, to incentivize you, this month, I'm going to be giving away mantra bracelets. I don't know if you've been on the website lately, but I got a whole new order, a whole new shipment of mantra bracelets. If you go to joyful courage.com/mantra-bracelets you will see them or just to the navigation bar where it says shop and this is going to go, the top three sharers of the group are going to get their pick of which mantra bracelet they want. So what that means is you find a podcast episode that you love, and you can find them all listed out for you at joyful courage.com/podcast pick one, copy the link, paste it into your social media and say, I really love these podcasts. This one's really great, Casey is the host. Make sure to tag me, right? Tag me or tag joyful courage. I'll see either way. And yeah, and share it. Share it around, right? Share that shit. I need. Do if you can't tag me, be sure to just maybe take a screenshot or send me something that shows me that you've shared via messenger. Or if you're out in the world and you're talking to people and you're like, oh my gosh, this podcast is so awesome. Let me have your phone. Let me show you how to find it, how to subscribe. If you can get people to subscribe in person, I want you to take a selfie, and I want you to send the selfie to me via Facebook Messenger. You get two sharing points for that, and then, like I said, at the end of the month, May 31 whoever has shared the most, the top three people who have shared the most will get their pick of a mantra bracelet, because I care about you and I want to make this fun for you. I am so honored that what I do makes a difference in your life. I can't tell you what it means to me to meet you out in the world and have you tell me, oh my gosh, I loved that show that you did, or I'm a listener, it just makes my heart swell with love and humility and excitement. So yeah, so let's get this show out there in front of more people. I'm gonna also put together a silly little video that is helpful in letting people know how to subscribe. Because it turns out parents, not all parents, really get the whole podcast thing, and it is so not hard. So help your help your fellow parents out and show them how. All right, find me as always, on Facebook, at joyful courage, on Instagram, on Twitter, at joyful courage. Please join our closed group on Facebook. It's called live and love with joyful courage. We are having really powerful conversations, forwarding conversations there I also share with you, I share with the group about offers. I'm also changing up my newsletter, so I am you can join the newsletter at joyful courage.com there's a little link at the very top to join the newsletter. And when you join, what you are getting now via newsletter is a post about each week's show. So if that's something that you're interested in, sign up for the newsletter, and if you have any feedback that you would like to share, you can always send it to Casey at joyful courage.com Casey at joyful courage.com and I just want to share something that came through from Julia just this morning, I opened my email and I got a message that said, Hi, Casey. I want to send you a little love note. I know that a lot of sweat and love goes in all the wonderful content you share with us. You've impacted my life, and with that, the life of my children more than you can probably imagine. Thank you for that. What I particularly appreciate is that you bring on speakers who represent people of color and people with different religious religions and beliefs, using your platform to raise those who are working extra hard to overcome obstacles like oppression is one of the most effective ways to create change. Keep doing it, sending you much love with deep gratitude, jalika. So thank you, jalika, that made my day big time. And I am I'm always looking to expand the perspective of the listener, and I'm looking for for guests that are going to offer you, you know, different ways of of thinking about interacting with the world and interacting with your kids. So my hope is that Jenna did that too. I love, love, love. Jenna Phillips Ballard, she is so amazing. So be sure to check out her links in the show notes, and just know that I am out here for you. I'm out here for you, and I could really use your help with spreading the word. So get involved. Get excited about the May giveaway, and yeah, I will see you next week, my friends, bye, bye.

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