Eps 598: Revisiting the real work of parenting during the middle school years

Jump into the conversation over in the FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1611547379683050/

Podcasts mentioned during this show:

• Eps 264: Michelle Icard Shares about the Crucial Conversations to Have With Our Middle Schoolers
• Eps 27: Amy Lang talks Middle School “Dating” (YIKES)

Transcription

JC Ep 598 (8.11.25) - Final
[00:00:00] Casey O'Roarty: Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Joyful Courage Podcast. This is a place where parents of tweens and teens come to find inspiration, information, and encouragement in the messy terrain of adolescents this season of parenting. Is no joke. And while the details of what we're all moving through might be slightly different, we are indeed having a very collective experience.
[00:00:30] This is a space where we center building, relationship, nurturing life skills, and leaning into our own personal growth and man. The opportunities abound, right. My name is Casey Ody. I am a parent coach, positive discipline lead trainer, and captain of the adolescent ship over at Sprout Bowl. I'm also a speaker and a published author.
[00:00:53] I've been working with parents and families for over 20 years. And continue to navigate my own experience of being a mom with my two young adult kids. I'm so honored that you're here and listening. Please give back to the podcast by sharing it with friends or on social media rate and review us on Apple or Spotify.
[00:01:13] Word of mouth is how we grow. Thank you so, so much. Enjoy the show. Hey everyone. I am so glad that you're tuning into the show today. I'm offering up a solo show replay that is packed with information specifically for all of you out there with young teens and middle schoolers as a parent with young adult kids.
[00:01:35] Now, when I look back at the middle school years, there are lots of things that I might do. Different. I think I did okay, but man, there were some missed opportunities and conversations that I just wish I would've normalized a little bit more during that time. And you know that this show isn't about doing anything perfectly, but it is about growth, humility, and possibility.
[00:02:01] I hope that when you listen to this episode, you keep that in mind. I did get feedback that this show is almost too packed. With information and breaking down some of the content would be useful. Be on the lookout for a series from me this fall that does just that. Enjoy the show.
[00:02:23] All right. Hey, we're back together. You and me. It's a Thursday time for a solo show. How's it going? Out there in apparent land. How's it going? I hope that you are coming into this podcast. Feeling good? Hopefully you're out on a walk. Or driving somewhere cool or I don't know, doing something that brings you joy, even if that's folding the laundry or cooking.
[00:02:58] I am glad that you are taking time to check in on what I have to say This week. This week we are heading into the middle school years. The middle school years. That's right. Hang on. My friends middle school, I spend a lot of time talking about. Older teenagers. I feel like in the high school years and sometimes even the years beyond high school, later adolescence, you know, especially those of you that have listened to me for a long time, I kind of speak into what is currently alive in my life, right?
[00:03:34] With my kids. My kids are getting older. My kids are old, you guys, 21 and 18. That's really weird. My son is gonna graduate from high school. In a few short months. Weird. Exciting, but weird. But you know, I've had some really great conversations about middle school here on the podcast and including just this week, I had Douglas Hadda on.
[00:04:00] He's a middle school teacher, and he shared some glorious insights from the trenches of middle school classrooms. I also back in. Episode 2 64, Michelle Eker came on. She has this great book called 14 Talks by the age 14, I believe is the title of it. She came on and talked about that book with us. I'll put a link in the show notes to that show, but it's episode 2 64.
[00:04:28] I loved that conversation. I totally fell in love with Michelle and her work. Then she's just super easy. Interview guest and as is my friend and podcast favorite Amy Lang. I had her on a few times, but I was on my website and there's, if you're on a desktop or a laptop and you go onto the Sprout website, there is a search bar and you can search for key words and things.
[00:04:56] Do you know, that makes it really easy. Sometimes I have people reach out to me and say, Hey, do you have a podcast about. This or about that, and you can actually go on the website, go into the search bar and search for those topics that you're looking for. When I put in middle school, my conversation from way back from like 2015 or 16.
[00:05:19] Episode 27, Amy Lang came on and we talked about middle school dating. I literally, in the title it says, middle school dating, and then in parentheses, in all caps it says, yikes. I was clearly going through some things at the time and needed. Some guidance, which Amy always has provided me since my kids were really little.
[00:05:43] So there's two shows that you can go back to about middle school and you know, I think that a lot of what I talk about here on the podcast is relevant. To younger kids as well as older teens and young adults. If you listen for that, right? If you're listening for and thinking about what does this look like with my kid?
[00:06:01] What could this look like with my kid? I don't think that I'm leaving parents of tweens and middle schoolers out. I just might be spending a little bit more time talking about the um, experience of some of the older teen years. But thanks for hanging out. This show is for you. Parents of middle schoolers, parents of tweens, and young teens.
[00:06:23] Middle school is such a weird experience, right? Like, I mean, have you been to the middle school lately? Those of you that have middle schoolers? The answer is yes. I mean, just watching them walk into the building, right? In some schools it's sixth, seventh, eighth, and some schools it's seventh and eighth.
[00:06:40] There's such a range, right? Some of the kids look like they're a few years away from adulthood, while others, you just can't believe that they're actually old enough to be in middle school, right? The maturity range in their body type, and even in their behavior. It's just a huge, huge range. It's a huge range.
[00:07:04] And you might be experiencing that. You might have a kiddo who's like, oh yeah, they're ready for middle school. They're 11 going on 25. You know, and or maybe they have older siblings, or hang with older kids, and they're just ready, right? For that next step. And then you've got the babes, the ones that you're like, oh God, they're gonna get eaten alive.
[00:07:24] And they, you know, still very much are playing with their dolls or their, you know. Bay blades or whatever, right? It's wild and it is, you know, puberty and that teen brain development, it begins. The rate and how each individual child receives it. You know, it's their own timeline, right? It's their own timeline.
[00:07:50] And you know, so back in January I got to go to Chicago and um, PTA hired me to come and. Do a talk. Actually, the whole school district, all three PTAs came together to hire me to talk to all the parents of middle schoolers. So there's something to think about. If you're involved in your PTA and you wanna invite me to come and talk, talk to neighboring PTAs, pool your resources, invite me.
[00:08:19] I'm for hire anyway. I was talking. To this group of parents. It was amazing. I had such a good time and I had a nice chunky q and a at the end, and I brought up pornography as I do and as well as other things. But one of the moms said, you know, I, my kid is really young, they're really immature. I don't really think they, you know, I don't think it's time for us to have this conversation.
[00:08:46] And I leaned in and I said, listen, if you haven't already had. A conversation about pornography with your middle schooler, then you need to do it tonight. It needs to happen. And when I ask, you know, even though the mom was like, Ooh, you know, especially this was probably her oldest. So you know, don't be fooled into thinking that because your child isn't getting into mischief or isn't showing interest in certain things, or seems more on the immature side that they don't need to hear about things like pornography and sex and sexual development and puberty.
[00:09:21] And you have to be having those conversations with your kids. You need to. Prep them. You need to set the stage that you are the authority. You are the person who's safe and willing and open to talking about these things. Otherwise, it's gonna show up in their life. On the school bus, at school, everybody's got a computer in their pocket.
[00:09:40] Not everybody has limits, and it's gonna come up. So be the first one to bring it up when I ask. In the Joyful Courage for Teens Facebook group, when I ask, Hey, what's going on with you parents of younger teens? I hear all about, you know, the struggles with tech and phones and video games, and kids that want more freedom, that parents wanna give.
[00:10:05] People talk about hygiene and why won't they wanna take showers and struggles with self-regulation. And these themes exist for, you know, everybody. So it's nice. I always appreciate it when people are willing to comment on my posts because every time somebody shows up and says, well, this is what I'm struggling with, you know, everybody else gets to say Me too.
[00:10:30] I'm not the only one. I'm not alone and not so powerful. In this era of, in this season of parenting adolescence. You know, there's a couple really great resources that talk about this period of time, this middle school period of time. There's a documentary called The Mask You Live in. Have you seen that?
[00:10:51] It is so good. You have to google it to find it. It's about Teen Boys and Guy Code and the Guy Box. And the messaging that our boys are getting through media, through social media, through the music, that they're listening through the movies, the TV shows, the video games, and it is right around middle school where if your son previously had close relationships and intimate relationships with boys, and by intimate I just mean that they're good buddies and they're.
[00:11:28] Emotionally vulnerable and open to each other. Then middle school, that gets kind of squeezed out of our boys because of all the messaging that they get around what it looks like to be a guy. Right. And the reason I bring this up is. You know, we get to talk about this stuff with our kids. We get to highlight the, and put a spotlight on the messaging that is coming at them, right?
[00:11:57] And to help them develop a critical lens and to help them decide who they wanna be versus. Who society is telling them to be. There's endless articles and blogs and books talking about girls at this age as well, and the pressure that they feel to look, act, be a certain way. One of my favorite authors about just like boys and girls and peer groups.
[00:12:24] The effects that peer groups and roles inside of peer groups have on our kids is Rosalyn Wiseman. She wrote a book called Mastermind and Wing Men, which is all about the boy, the male hierarchy in peer groups. And she also wrote Queen Bees and Wannabes, which is the female version of that. Also Mean Girls was based on that book, the Movie Mean Girls, and it's all about the girl dynamic.
[00:12:50] And the roles that girls tend to fall into in peer groups starting in middle school, and it's fa, well, not even starting in middle school, starting in elementary school. And it's so interesting, right, to pull the curtain back and look at. This time of life. Right. And it's really powerful for us to help our kids recognize they can do the same thing.
[00:13:12] They can grow their observer of themselves, right? And it's not the same as a 30 5-year-old learning about this, but it definitely is a time to plant some seeds
[00:13:32] again as soon as they get a phone. Or social media on, you know, a tablet or whatever. They're getting extra info on how to be, who to be, how to look, how to act. I remember we really held off on the phone, however, Rowan had a iPod touch, which is pretty much a phone, right? We held off on social media.
[00:13:53] However, back in the day there was musically, this was like pre TikTok, which is who's out there is like, oh yeah, I remember musically. That was a whole thing. And it was social media, right? I thought it was just kind of this creative, funny thing where they're making videos, but man, it quickly got out of my control and we were deep into it before we could really have the conversations and set some limits, right?
[00:14:21] And that's the story. That's what happens in middle school. We get behind, we get behind, we get behind. In middle school, everything happens super fast. Here's why we're in denial of the hard things because our kids are so great, they're so innocent, they would never get into mischief. Right? We know them. We know who they're gonna be.
[00:14:44] It's probably not gonna be that hard for them. We probably aren't gonna have to. This was me. I'm probably not gonna have that hard of a time 'cause I've been, you know, parenting with positive discipline. The other thing that happens is, especially with our first. Middle schoolers, if we have more than one, we can't see the road ahead, so we don't plan accordingly.
[00:15:04] We don't really realize how quickly things can change and how hardcore the influence of peers and social status. Becomes, and, and it's really beyond that. It's, or under that it's this deep need for belonging and the ingroup outgroup stuff starts happening hard in middle school. We we're coming into middle school while having lived in this illusion of control, right?
[00:15:33] Like. Elementary school, you know, we have our rules, we have our boundaries, we have this feeling of control, right? For some of us, most of us, many of us feel like, okay, I'm the adult. I'm the authority. Even if we are living inside of like everybody gets a voice and this democratic parenting style, it's still much easier for a lot of us and a lot of our kids to kind of stand in that authority and you know, be the parent.
[00:16:03] Right, and then we come into middle school and we think we can still operate from that space. Teen brain development's coming, right? If it hasn't already landed, the pushback is coming. You know, the differing opinion is coming. That creative exploration push against status quo. It's all coming. And if we're taking this hard stance around, well, I am the authority man, it's gonna get brutal.
[00:16:30] Right? And this is why we get behind. And we also, you know, this idea that we don't have to talk about things until the things show up right? Is a recipe for disaster. Because once they show up, we're no longer ahead of it. Now we're playing catch up. The place where this happens. So clearly is with the phone.
[00:16:53] You know, so many parents, myself included, I mean, I think I did a, a decent job. We waited till eighth grade. No, we waited till seventh grade for a phone and eighth grade for social media. Although, like I said, musically existed, but even then, so many parents, it's like, surprise, we got you this phone. We got you this thing you've been asking for.
[00:17:15] And it's exciting to give our kids gifts. Mm-hmm. Oh my God. But, but the smartphones, can you all, if you don't have not given your kid a smartphone yet, can you just not just go with the flip phone? Everybody needs to just get their kids' flip phones. I mean, they do not need smartphone. I wish we could go back in time and really drill that in for all of us anyway, the phones.
[00:17:38] So it's a classic example where we get them the phones. It's a free for all. And then we realize like, oh shoot, I gotta figure out how to set some limits. I gotta figure out how to, you know, block certain things. I gotta figure out, do I monitor, right? We realize that after we've gotten them the phone, no, that is too late, but it's not too late, but it's sure is a pain in the ass, right?
[00:18:02] Because in the meantime, they're doing all the things and figuring out all the things, and so excited about this freedom. Of the internet and social media, it's like spinning outta control and I know, you know, we all know that feeling right? Hooray, for those of you that really came into the phone thing with a solid plan, I really am stoked for you.
[00:18:28] And you know, anymore, there's plenty of phones and phone plans that are like dumbed down where you start and it is already dialed in and restricted. Which it should be, right? It should be restricted. We shouldn't be just saying, here's the phone. Have fun with that. Right? Because they don't know what they're doing and we don't know what they're doing.
[00:18:54] And there are plenty of people on there that know exactly what they're doing and are targeting our kids, whether it's marketers or predators or whatever. The phones are a nightmare, so we need to stay ahead of it, right? And again, so we don't wanna get behind on the phones, on the freedoms on any of it.
[00:19:14] So there's a couple things I wanna talk about. For you middle school parents around this idea of what this period of time can be, this bridge into adolescence, and we're gonna talk about doubling down on the places where it is important to be firm. I wanna talk about giving them our kids more time for practicing life skills that are important.
[00:19:36] I wanna talk about the conversations that you should be normalizing in your house. And I wanna talk about building a win-win mentality, being on their side. Okay. And continuing to nurture connection. Okay, so there's a lot there and I'm already almost 20 minutes in. Okay, so where to double down on firmness.
[00:19:53] I've already talked about screens. Yes, yes, yes. Middle school, if you're doing screens, you need to double down on those agreements. Around limits and expectations with the screens. I have an entire little handout around making agreements around screens. There's plenty of podcasts where I talk about screens, listen to them and make it work for your family.
[00:20:17] I think another thing you get to double down on is family time slash special time, one-on-one time. I think it is so important. If you've already have that established in the elementary years, when you come into middle school years, keep the connection alive. It doesn't have to be, you know, eating dinner together every night, although that is fantastic.
[00:20:39] But I know kids are busy and families are busy. Making sure that you have family time, time where you're spending together as a family every week and making sure that you have one-on-one time with your middle schooler that is real quality. One-on-one time kid led. You know, you're not having hard conversations unless they're bringing it up.
[00:20:58] You're doing what they wanna do. You are delighting in them because they are changing, they are growing, they are developing, right? And so that one-on-one time routine is key in. Keeping your finger on the pulse of who your kiddo is. Right. And the other thing to double down on is routines. Like what does the after dinner routine look like?
[00:21:19] What does the after school routine look like? Maybe you don't have posters in the household anymore. I think I did. My kids were like, well, Rowan especially was like, oh geez. But like what do routines look like? And is that common language? And. When everybody knows what to do, then everybody knows what to do.
[00:21:37] So it's really important that you maintain that structure of routines as kids move into middle school. This is what we do as a family after dinner. This is what we do in the afternoons, right? And be open to changing it up too. When your middle schooler says, well, I don't want it to be like this. Okay, great.
[00:21:55] What can it look like? What can it look like to make sure the things that need to get done get done? What kind of routine do you wanna create? Let's talk about it. The other thing that is really important during the middle school years in bridging that gap between elementary and into adolescents is giving them ever more room to practice, advocating for themselves, practice responsibility, to practice accountability.
[00:22:18] We wanna give them ever more freedom within structure. Right, and that's taking a look at where are they using their voice? What does it look like for them to be in relationship and conversation with their teachers? Where do they need support around that? Do you have a kiddo that's a little bit more conservative or shy or anxious around talking to adults?
[00:22:38] So what kind of scaffolding do they need? So that they can start to take that on and start to practice that, right? We wanna extend, continue to extend their comfort zone with that scaffolding. And the scaffolding can look like, you know, I'll help you write the email to your teacher, but it needs to come from you.
[00:22:57] Let's role play the conversation you need to have with your coach so that you're ready to have it with them. At practice later, extending their comfort zone with scaffolding and with practice is really important during middle school years and staying curious. About what they want. Like if you haven't already started this conversation, then middle school's a great time for it.
[00:23:22] What are you hoping for at the end of the semester? What are you hoping for at the end of the year? What are the grades that you want? What do you wanna accomplish? What are your goals for soccer? What are your goals for volleyball? What are your goals for the clarinet? How are you gonna know that you've grown?
[00:23:40] What is that gonna look like for you? Obviously you're not gonna like pepper them with all these questions all at once, but this is the idea. We want to be generating a conversation and really putting the center, putting the onus on them. We wanna center, this is your experience to have and I'm so excited to be on the sidelines celebrating you and supporting you.
[00:24:01] What is it that you want? Right? So really practicing taking what we want. Out of the conversation. Right. And this is gonna serve you as they move into high school too. So this is kind of the practice ground. I mean, because probably they're already real aware of what you want. We're not subtle, so we get to really celebrate and be in the conversation around helping them think about and consider and reflect on what, yeah, what is it that I want?
[00:24:32] How will I know that I've grown? What will make me feel good? Right?
[00:24:45] So giving them more room for practicing those life skills. Absolutely. The other piece is thinking about what conversations could you be normalizing during the tween middle school years? I think this is really important. It can feel like everything changes overnight, but it doesn't. It doesn't change overnight, but it changes quick once they go from kid to adolescent.
[00:25:08] Feels like overnight. Right. And I think some of the things that I really wanna encourage you to normalize, and you've heard me talk a little bit about this in previous podcasts over the last couple of weeks, but really these ideas that in our family we talk about how we're feeling, right? We talk about emotions, we name emotions.
[00:25:27] You know, and that starts with mom and dad or mom and mom. It starts with dad's, parents, grandparents, whoever the adults are that are caregiving. You get to talk about your emotions in a really healthy way. You get to identify how you're feeling and speak it and identify it and talk about it, right? It's really hard to feel conflicted or to feel embarrassed.
[00:25:50] Or to feel humiliated. Right? And I think it's really important for our kids to see us navigating those emotions. It is important that's how they learn their own navigation and their own emotional intelligence is by the model that we are in our family. We talk about how we're feeling, even though it's hard to do.
[00:26:08] And our family, we own our mistakes, right? We name our mistakes. And we take ownership and we make things right. We repair when we've hurt someone in our family, we get that things are hard and we keep showing up. We do things anyway, right? We do it anyway. In our family, we talk about screen use and we talk about limits, and we look at our, you know, our results of screen time, right?
[00:26:36] In our family, we hand over our devices. Let each other explore. Right? In our family. This is an out in the open thing. I'm not gonna read your diary, right? You don't need to panic because I'm holding your phone. In our family, we talk about sex, sexual development, relationships, healthy relationships, toxic relationships, right?
[00:26:58] This is really important and absolutely should be something that's normalized. Middle school because this is where they're headed. They're headed into these more intimate, more romantic relationships, so we get to talk about it. In our family, we talk about substance use and abuse and experimenting. We talk about what it's like to look over and see kids are vaping and God, it's kind of cool.
[00:27:22] I remember Ian was like, I think that the smoke is really cool. And I remember feeling like, oh God, we talked about it. We continue to talk about it. We get to normalize these conversations, people, and we get to normalize it in middle school. We get to show our kids that we can handle these conversations, that we're not gonna be lunatics about it, that we're not super close-minded, that we're open to exploring the conversations and we're curious and we wanna.
[00:27:52] Find out what our kids think and Hmm. How might you, you know, interact with that challenge? Should it come up right? And wow. What would make it hard with your peers are doing something that you don't wanna do. You know, just we get to normalize these conversations and normalizing them means that we get to have them, right?
[00:28:14] We get to talk about them. We're cool with that. Cool with talking about all this stuff, right? Because it's all on our kids' minds. They are curious. They are watching, they are exposed. They wanna be talking about this stuff, and they wanna know that you can handle talking about it. So handle it right, handle it.
[00:28:34] Another thing that is super key during this time is building the win-win mentality and really landing for our young teens and tweens that we are on their side. Again, control is an illusion. And when we get into power struggles, power struggles are a trap for disconnection. So we really want to stay in that win-win mentality.
[00:29:00] They have to know that you're on their side. Teachers with friends, with other family members, and by being on their side, I mean, we show up with curiosity. We show up with more listening, less talking. We show up in validation that what they're moving through is hard and we stay solution focused, right?
[00:29:23] This is how we show up on their side. Remember negotiation. Some parents are like, mom, I'm so tired of all the negotiating. Well, negotiating is a life skill. Right. Arguing is a life skill. Having space to disagree, being able to disagree and speak your truth, even if it's a truth that changes over time.
[00:29:43] Being able to voice your opinion, these life skills, you know, we really have the opportunity to create, create a space and environment, a container for them to flex those life skills, right? Creating those win-wins. Being a listener. Being on their side, being curious about what they're thinking and learning and wrestling with.
[00:30:06] And you get to have non-negotiables, right? You get to have non-negotiables. You get to say, no, not yet. Or no, not today, or no, not ever. But really, you get to say no to things, right? This isn't about you not being that confident authority and leader in your family, but it is about recognizing that you are collaborators, right?
[00:30:34] You get to collaborate with your young teens and tweens. When you do have non-negotiables, when it is like, Nope, we're not doing phones yet, right? You get to work on being with your child's disappointment. I'm just gonna let you sit with that. You get to work on being with your child's disappointment and anger and frustration, and you know their choice words, and you get to work on being with it and seeing them.
[00:31:05] Recognizing, wow, this is something they really care about and it's really hard for them to be with their disappointment, right? You get to notice when you wanna save them, right? All of our kids saying, oh, the kids have an iPhone. All of my friends are on Snapchat. That's the only way I can connect with my friends.
[00:31:23] Everybody's hanging out at that sketchy park, except for me, I'm missing out. Right. We hear our kids moaning and crying and so discouraged about missing out because they don't have the phone or the app or the sketchy park to go to. Right. And it's hard to hear. It's hard to hear. You get to be curious. You get to listen deeply, and you get to validate that they're moving through something hard.
[00:31:51] Right? Yeah. And even that, that's a win-win. What can we do? What is a solution? I don't know. Nothing. I hate you. Okay? I love you. I'll see you at dinner. So that's the person. You know, there's a lot of inner work that gets to happen as we move through these years and be who our kids need us to be through these years.
[00:32:11] There's a lot of inner work, and it's only the beginning people. It's only the beginning of adolescence. You're gonna have lots of opportunity to continue to find your flexibility, find your resilience, right, encourage and empower yourself as the parent. Absolutely. And then, yeah, continuing to nurture connection.
[00:32:31] I already mentioned this building in the family time, building in the one-on-one time. Again, normalizing this, this is what we do. And perhaps even reframing a bit what that special one-on-one time looks like, right? If they're quiet and they don't wanna talk or they don't wanna do the one-on-one time, or they're mad at you, if you know that they're struggling, right, with something and you wanna get in there, you wanna talk about it, but.
[00:32:56] They're not bringing it up and it's there one-on-one time and you don't get to right. Being with that. It's okay. You get to be an energetic presence and the power of that, we can't measure it, but it exists. The ability to just be with our kids as they are in the moment, it's such a gift for them to get to be who they are without somebody.
[00:33:21] Sending a message that it's not okay for them to be quiet or sad or disappointed. Right? And I'm not saying that you say that out loud, but when we feel uncomfortable with that and we wanna kind of jostle them out of it, the underlying message is it's not okay for you to feel that way. Our kids wanna be seen and accepted.
[00:33:43] They don't wanna be judged or told how to feel. Right. We can say, what do you need? How can I support you? Do you want me to be quiet? I really wanna ask you about what's going on, but I also recognize that, you know, you're having your own feels about it. So just know I'm here for you, right? We can drive in in silence, or let's listen to this music or whatever.
[00:34:09] After the fact, after those one-on-one times and during, especially during this period of the middle school years, you can get into the practice of checking in with them about, Hey, you know, how did you feel like I showed up for you today when you were having a hard time? What could I have done differently?
[00:34:26] What would be more useful next time? Right? Checking in on the relationship and being open to growth and learning, because if your kid's a tween or a teen and they're your first. You are in the gauntlet of personal growth and development. Welcome. Welcome to the workshop. It will last for the rest of your life with your child because they are constantly showing us our gaps and our places to grow.
[00:34:54] And it's exciting. It's exciting. So yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about today. I encourage you all to be proactive. Be proactive with that tween or a middle schooler of yours. Learn about teen brain development together. Learn about the brain. Learn about things that are coming. Talk about mental health.
[00:35:16] Talk about body image. Talk about friend drama. They're already thinking about it. Okay? So you're not gonna create a mental health problem or create a body image problem or create friend drama by talking about this stuff. What you are gonna create is. A space that your kids know is safe to lean into, right?
[00:35:39] A person that's you that can handle these hard conversations. So that's what I got special delivery for all of you with middle schoolers. I hope that you found that useful. I would love to know your thoughts on all of this. I know it was kind of, there are some broad strokes. But I hope that you can listen and really hear pieces that are useful for whatever the challenges are that you're currently navigating.
[00:36:09] This is. So much bigger than screens or showers or backtalk, right? This is really what do we wanna create in this environment that we now live inside of with this young adolescent person who's gonna continue to grow and develop, and we just wanna give them the optimal space to do that, right? Yes. So.
[00:36:35] Okay. I have no questions for you to prompt. Let me think about some prompts. So first, prompt, always, what are you taking away, right? What are you taking away from this conversation? What are some conversations that you are going to start normalizing in your home? So go back to that section and listen or think about that.
[00:36:57] What do you want to be able to talk about in your family? And what are you gonna do to nurture more regular one-on-one time? Right? There's more that I wanna ask you too, but those are the prompts that I'm gonna give you for today. Loved it, loved hanging out with you, per usual. And if you think about it and you wanna give back to the podcast, please head over to Apple Podcasts and leave me a five star review and let others know what you take away from this show.
[00:37:33] And wherever you listen to me, if you listen on Spotify or Amazon or. Apple, make sure you follow or subscribe the pod so that you automatically get it into your feed every Monday and Thursday when the show goes live. All right? Have a beautiful weekend and I will see you soon.
[00:37:55] Thank you so much for listening. Thank you to my Sprout partners, Julietta and Alana. Thank you, Danielle, for supporting with the show notes as well as Chris Mann and the team at Pod Shaper for all the support with getting the show out there and making it sound good. As I mentioned, sharing is caring. If you're willing to pass on this episode to others or take a few minutes to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, it helps other parents find this useful content.
[00:38:22] Be sure to check out what we have going on for parents of kids of all ages and sign up for our newsletter to. Stay [email protected]. I see you doing all the things. I believe in you. See you next time.