“That’s not fair” “You cheated!” “I never win!” Sound familiar? Most kids have a tough time navigating games where there is a clear winner, or when they feel a sense of unfairness. This is because[...]
shirt. This is life as a parent: poop and pee is not disgusting. We find it on our hands, our clothes, and hair. We even touch things that might be poop and smell it to make sure. We think a lot about our children’s pee and poop. I remember that first week of his life being obsessed with how much and when. With this same fervor, I entered the world of potty training.
My little baby is now a full-blown toddler. Every stage of development has been such an exciting leap, but it’s at this stage that I’m getting a glimpse into the inner dialogue of my little one’s brain. He is learning to talk and along with language comes a newfound sense of independence and autonomy. This is great when I need to clean up after meals or shoot off a couple of emails, because he can now play by himself for longer periods of time, or even better, help me around the house. It’s a challenge when I have an agenda of what needs to happen now and it doesn’t align with HIS plan. I now understand why virtually every parent of a toddler says their child is “strong-willed”.
There’s a parenting myth about the terrible two’s, but what I’ve found is that it doesn’t have to be so terrible if you have some solid Positive Discipline parenting tools in your back pocket.
The other day my nine-year-old came home from school super bummed. She grew teary describing her frustration with the inequity in P.E. teams made by the teacher. Time and time again, her team continued to lose while “all” of her other friends were on the other team. I validated her feelings, kept my face open and empathetic and gave her a big hug. “That must feel unfair. I would feel sad if I was playing against my friends too...
How will we practice? How are we going to teach them to name their feelings, express themselves clearly and assertively, and not internalize or explode their stress or negative emotions? When our children are scared, mad, or so sad, their irrational brain has taken over and is only able to yell, “Fight! Run away! Freeze!” We can guide our children into their “rational” brain by helping them feel safe and understood, while teaching them to name and express their feelings in positive ways.