There are some dark days while parenting, and even tougher nights when we lay our head on the pillow and wish things could have been different that day. We might feel disconnected, resentful and sad.[...]
There are some dark days while parenting, and even tougher nights when we lay our head on the pillow and wish things could have been different that day. We might feel disconnected, resentful and sad. This is because we are human! So are our children. We make mistakes. We are in relationship with each other, and we are all still growing and practicing. The beauty and gifts that our children give us is the gift of grace, and the gift of forgiveness. We get to give them this too. There is always another day and a chance to try a new way of being together.
The most popular night of my seven-week Positive Discipline parenting series is the night we finally get to talk about siblings. From the first week, this is a source of angst for parents. It is on every list of challenges that we make, and usually the sibling fighting is a trigger that brings out the “Final straw! I’ve had it, that’s it!” moment in the night where we turn into the version of our parents we swore we would never become. It takes a full six weeks of building on parenting tools before we can get to this meaty and layered challenge. In this class, I always start by asking that same question, “what did you learn from your siblings?” After some scoffing, the answers range from:
I was preparing for three babies, really. Not triplets, although many people asked, but one baby and two big sisters (who will always be my babies). I took the big sister preparation this time with somewhat of a strategy - before baby and right after.