Positive Discipline Parenting Blog

Liar, Liar:  Why I Don’t Stress When my Nanny Kids Fib

Something I see pop up occasionally in online nannying groups is concern & frustration over nanny kiddos telling lies. I totally get it; nobody likes being lied to! I see suggestions of taking things away, lecturing & punishing, forced apologies, and even trying to scare kids out of lying. In fact, I remember being told “you’ll go to hell if you tell a lie” when I was a young child, and it was terrifying! I’ll offer you a different solution: let it go.

3 tips for teaching kids to be a good sport

“That’s not fair” “You cheated!” “I never win!” Sound familiar?  Most kids have a tough time navigating games where there is a clear winner, or when they feel a sense of unfairness. This is because they are still learning! Getting comfortable with losing, being flexible with not going first or getting the color game piece they want, and having patience taking turns all takes LOTS of practice. It is still cognitively challenging for young children to see “fairness” because they are still growing into their capacity for perspective taking, which is why it is important to start now!

Getting comfortable with messy play

I’ve been working with kids for over 15 years, and I’ve cleaned up a fair share of messes in that time. I wasn’t someone who initially leaned into messy play because it can be gross, stressful, overwhelming, and because I could always come up with something else that’s fun to do instead. However, the longer I’ve been doing this, the more I’ve gotten not only comfortable, but actually have started enjoying, inviting, celebrating, and really leaning into messy play time! Here’s my why, my how, and some tips I’ve learned along the way.

Getting curious about the Belief Behind Behavior

A few years back I did an interview with Alison Smith. It touched on the importance of finding the need beneath the behaviors we see. I also often reference the iceberg metaphor - the idea that behavior we’re seeing is just the tip of the iceberg, and if we can go under the surface and really get to what's fueling the behavior, we can make lasting, sustainable change in our home environment.

Why I teach my nanny kids how to do things for themselves

If we want our nanny charges to learn life skills, we start by explicitly teaching those skills. Nobody just knows how to do laundry or scramble an egg - even basic life skills need to be taught clearly and explicitly with step-by-step training. Typically, the best way to do this is to model and narrate, then move into doing the task together, then the child does it while you supervise, and eventually the child is ready to do that task on their own. Think about making your bed, it seems pretty simple, right? Well, maybe not