Positive Discipline Parenting Blog

Tips for validating teens

I like to think of validation as a way to be human to human with my kids. I want them to have the experience of feeling seen. When we validate, it’s an opportunity to let our teens know we can handle them being in their emotions and that we have faith in them to navigate that. Validation improves relationships, deescalates conflict and intense emotions, shows we’re listening without judgment, and that we care. I also think of validation as the opening of a door: when our kids and teens feel seen and not judged, they’re so much more likely to move into a receptive, problem-solving state.

Getting curious about the Belief Behind Behavior

A few years back I did an interview with Alison Smith. It touched on the importance of finding the need beneath the behaviors we see. I also often reference the iceberg metaphor - the idea that behavior we’re seeing is just the tip of the iceberg, and if we can go under the surface and really get to what's fueling the behavior, we can make lasting, sustainable change in our home environment.

Talking to kids about friendships

There was a time, maybe you remember this too, when we were taught to be friends with everybody. Being nice, getting along, and not creating conflict was rewarded with approval from the adults, and led to confusion for the kids. They knew it wasn’t that simple. There were kids that they just didn’t vibe with, […]

Five Phrases to Leave in 2022

One thing I’m always trying to improve on is my language and communication with children. I invite you to consider these five phrases that well-intentioned adults use with kids and offer some alternatives that might be worth trying out.